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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In thinking owning a cat doesn't make you a neglectful mother?

99 replies

Dinkytinky · 14/06/2010 10:30

Hi all!
Basically I am recently pg and last night my sister said 'well obviously you'll get rid of the cat..' so I said umm no why would I? And she spouted off that 'cat litter will deform the baby' (I don't bloody roll around in it FFS!) and 'cats suffocate babies'!!
As kids we had two cats and I don't appear to be dead.
She doesn't have dc but works with sn kids.
I was just flabbergasted, and was so upset with her implying that me not knowing this is a sign of future neglect/idiocy!
Does anyone else think this about cats and babies?

Don't worry- I wasn't planning on making cot into harem for felines and giving baby catnip etc!

Thanks!

OP posts:

Mibby · 14/06/2010 18:55

We have four cats and I'm almost 5 months pregnant. We've also had the rubbish about 'you cant keep them, they'll eat/ squash/ smother the baby' but I'm not listening and not getting rid of them. I survived 3 cats and a mad Collie dog so I think, with a sensible level of watchfullness and care, all will be fine.

As others have said, I'm more worried about the effect of the baby on the cats, two are elderly and like their peace and quiet!

Fenouille · 14/06/2010 19:00

I'm also worried about our two (cats) adjusting to the baby when it arrives in October - they've not been keen on children since being terrorised by my DH's niece who was encouraged by her parents to chase them around our flat, despite us locking them in our bedroom where we thought they'd be well out of her clutches

I do think they've made me a bit more prepared for motherhood though, in an odd way. Having to be responsible for their vaccinations, making sure they're properly fed even when I'm too tired to feed myself, cleaning up their sick and poo, taking time to play with them, dealing with their idiocies with humour (mostly involving damaging stuff when they shouldn't have been doing what they're doing) ... its all good preparation, right?

[/crazy cat woman]

I just hope they turn out like your old girl rockinhippy - so sorry for your loss

pranma · 14/06/2010 19:04

My dd has two lovely cats and two beautiful healthy little boys.No litter trays-cats go outside in field,cat beds in utility room at night but cats and dc[3yrs and 15mnths]co-exist very happily.Both boys said 'cat' as one of their first words.Properly looked after pets and dc are a wonderful combination.

ShellingPeas · 14/06/2010 19:29

My two cats are 14. My DCs are 10 and 8. I think the DCs have survived the threat of death by cat.

Batteryhuman · 14/06/2010 19:31

Depends whether you breast feed the cat and give catfood to the baby. That would not be good for the cat at all. Oh no it wouldn't.

missymousie · 14/06/2010 19:47

I've got toxicara (sp?) scars all over one of my retina from contact with some sort of poo as a baby (farmers daughter - was prob the rats) but didn't have any other problems which are very rare. I got my cat when 8 months pregnant and wasn't bothered a bit - I just wormed her and didn't let her sleep in the cot.

Needless to say my ds at 9 is still alive and has a very loved dcat of his own.

[happy cat and baby emoticon]

soopermum1 · 14/06/2010 20:55

I had 2 cats when DS was born, and now have 3. Didn't let them in the room when he was sleeping until he was older and they kept their distance (still do, really.) However, got a kitten last year when DS was 5 and that cat is a lot more tolerant and good natured than the other two as I think that's all he's ever known, whereas the other two probably still yearn for the days of endless attention and a quiet house

Lynli · 14/06/2010 21:04

There were several cases in the news several years ago of cats smothering new born babies. They like to climb into the crib and lay on the baby for warmth. People used to have a net over the crib if they had a cat when I was child.

funnysinthegarden · 14/06/2010 21:24

I was over the moon when Max came back. Just shows though. Never be afraid of your pets. They will come to you

LadyBiscuit · 14/06/2010 21:32

I have a cat net, still boxed and unused if anyone would like it. My cats were horrified by babies and even now the DC are older, are not at all keen. Stairgates are very good at protecting cats from babies I find

Morloth · 14/06/2010 21:37

Is there any actually documented cases of a cat smothering a baby by sleeping on it? Like the parents actually finding the baby asleep with the cat on it chest? An actual case? Not I heard from someone or a few years ago, an actual proper proven case?

funnysinthegarden · 14/06/2010 22:08

LB lol re catnet. I seri horse lee considered buying one!

Fcuking scaremongers....

rockinhippy · 14/06/2010 22:21

here

the snopes page above lays all the myths to rest........I'm now thinking its all a clever marketing strategy by them pesky cat net manufacturers........I think I might still have one still boxed in the back of a cupboard somewhere too.....

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours · 14/06/2010 22:29

My cat (not the nicest of moggies as my name may suggest) is really only frightened of 2 things, my DC.

When DD was a crawling baby she used to pull his tail just to hear the yowling noise he would make; being the beligerent bastard that he is though he would never run away from her just his and spit (which she thought was even funnier) then occassionally swipe (ocassioning a swift helped trip out of the catflap for him).

He is, though, quite a bastard so I suspect he is planning his evil revenge.

rockinhippy · 14/06/2010 22:30

www.snopes.com/critters/wild/catsuck.asp

that didn't work properly trying again, if not C&P this e-addres....

www.snopes.com/critters/wild/catsuck.asp

& thanks for those who expressed condolences, I still mis her a lot, especially sitting here as she always used to wrap herself around my feet, but at 20 she had a fantastic innings & she did get very ill in the end, though thankfully only the last few months.........because of DD, & the house was so empty without a Cat.......we did get a rescue Cat back in Jan & shes a real little character, & has been brilliant with DD........climbed up her high sleeper ladder on the first night & claimed the spot next to her feet as her own....something old Polly could never do, so shes put a smile back on DDs face

missyfafa · 14/06/2010 22:44

I got a kitten for my little girl. My DH was not keen on having another cat but had let me on the proviso that he would have nothing to do with it and wouldn't have to go near the cat litter tray. One month later I fell pregnant. He was not amused. Having a cat is absolutely fine, you just need to get someone else to clean it's poo out! Great excuse! Or just wash your hands after.

funnysinthegarden · 14/06/2010 22:54

rockinhippy. My cats only drink rain water from the outside. They laugh in the face of tapwater in their bowls.........

rockinhippy · 14/06/2010 22:57

lol....... its beats loo water, which our new Cat is very fond of....seat now kept firmly down so its now dripping taps or the fish tank water

aristocat · 14/06/2010 22:59

my cat likes his water from a glass

rockinhippy · 14/06/2010 23:20

lol aristocat,...... I can see where your name comes from....mind you my parents old Cat would only eat his cat food with homemade gravy....he once was given some left overs & refused to eat with out ever again

Original poster

Dinkytinky · 14/06/2010 23:23

Lol! Mine only drinks cold running water from the bath, NOT the sink.

OP posts:

Eaglebird · 14/06/2010 23:41

We've had a cat for 13 years, and DS is 2 and a half. We've had no problems whatsoever.

When DS was a baby we put a catnet over his carrycot in case the cat decided to hop in with him. To be honest, the noise he made put the cat off ever going near him!
We encourage him to be gentle to the cat, and we let him stroke her under supervision.But we never leave him alone with her - more for fear of what HE will do to the her than vice versa.

When I was pg, DP took over cat litter duty, to be on the safe side.

LifeOfKate · 15/06/2010 18:48

Morloth - Not my rule, but DH's. He's not a cat person and that was one rule he insisted on before I unleashed felines on our house
I also like nothing better than a furry hot water bottle on the bed (I grew up with cats so regularly co-slept with one ), but he is not a very good sleeper at the best of times, so will not allow them in the bedroom at night.
We can't let them wander round either, or we wouldn't sleep as softie cat would just cry at our bedroom door to be let in. So the kitchen door is always shut at night (not as bad as it sounds, the cat flap is there too, so they are just confined to the kitchen and the rest of the world!), so DS won't get the lovely experience of a cat snuggled up on his feet in bed either

girlsyearapart · 15/06/2010 19:07

YANBU but try owning a Staffie- that makes you a reeeeally bad Mother..

I'm with orm totally neglectful dog owner now that I have the dcs. He used to sleep in my bed but is now banished to the kitchen at night and isn't allowed upstairs..

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