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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking owning a cat doesn't make you a neglectful mother?

99 replies

Dinkytinky · 14/06/2010 10:30

Hi all!
Basically I am recently pg and last night my sister said 'well obviously you'll get rid of the cat..' so I said umm no why would I? And she spouted off that 'cat litter will deform the baby' (I don't bloody roll around in it FFS!) and 'cats suffocate babies'!!
As kids we had two cats and I don't appear to be dead.
She doesn't have dc but works with sn kids.
I was just flabbergasted, and was so upset with her implying that me not knowing this is a sign of future neglect/idiocy!
Does anyone else think this about cats and babies?

Don't worry- I wasn't planning on making cot into harem for felines and giving baby catnip etc!

Thanks!

OP posts:
funnysinthegarden · 14/06/2010 11:40

asparagus........? What sort of cat eats asparagus?

Original poster
Dinkytinky · 14/06/2010 11:50

Lol, fat ones! He will eat absolutly anything, pinches fruit/egg Mayo/cherry scones.... Hopefully not babies though! :D

OP posts:
Miggsie · 14/06/2010 11:55

I had 4 cats when I was pregnant.
My MIL went on and on about how the cats would sleep in the baby's cot and smother her. She was adamant this would happen and I shelled out for loads of "cat nets" to stop this.

In the reality the cats slept in the pram and the cot prior to baby arriving. They were not impressed when they sat on my bump and got kicked by DD still in utero.

When DD arrived they took themselves off and never went near her after the first sniff.

2 have died since then and I got another as a stray when DD was 3.

Now she is 6 she gets on with all 3 cats and one of them even sits on her lap and the old stray will sleep on her bed.

Just keep young kids away from any droppings in the garden.

And all babies eat food from the cat bowl. They just do. It's a learning thing.

Although it does bug me when other children come round and acts as though my torpid domestic cat is a bengal tiger.

Carbonated · 14/06/2010 11:59

Actually, the big issue here isn't the cat, it's your sister butting in with hysterical, judgemental and unwanted advice.

Get used to it, it is your life from now on

Seriously though, this is just the beginning. Everyone has an opinion on everything a pregnant woman or new mother does. You need to find a way to let family, friends and random strangers know that you are a rational adult and that they don't have the right to lecture you with their prejudices/outdated advice/Daily Mail information.

anyabanya · 14/06/2010 12:04

Hear hear. everyone has an opinion about everything. And more vociferous if they do not have children, i think.

[incidentally, a friend's cat was nuts about steamed broccoli.... to the point that she fed it broccoli every day and it would eat that first before the cat food. ]

Original poster
Dinkytinky · 14/06/2010 12:05

Aww no carbonated!!! Maybe a tshirt? My uncle had a certificate of sanity, thought that was pretty good!

OP posts:
sarah293 · 14/06/2010 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

prettybird · 14/06/2010 12:08

We've always had two Siamese and there was never a problem. The two we had when ds was a baby kept their distance from this unpredictable creature - but we did shut them out of our room at night (when ds was sleeping in our room) and from his room once he moved out, at least initially. That put their noses out of joint more than anything as they were used to sleeping in bed with us

Ds is now 9 and the two cats have (mostly) abandoned us in favour of sleeping with him.

I did buy a cat net but never used it. Having said that, our current male I might have been more careful about (and I did tell my downstairs neighbours to be careful about letting him in when their youngest was a newborn) as when he was young, he had a habit of sleeping on your head (the only cat I've ever had that did that - and I'm onto my 8th and 9th cats). He's grwon out of that though.

It's lovely to see ds with the cats and how he knows how to handle them.

Morloth · 14/06/2010 12:09

My cat was horrified by screechy thing we had brought into her house, she wanted nothing to do with him until he was old enough to stroke her.

She used to give a look when he cried, as in "can't you shut that thing up?". She seems more tolerant of DS2.

funnysinthegarden · 14/06/2010 12:15

carbonated is right. Once you become a mother you enter a whole new world of judgmental pain

Jux · 14/06/2010 12:21

We had three cats when dd was born. 10 years later, she's still alive.

dawntigga · 14/06/2010 12:23

oh noes! Ebil, ebil I tells u

Search Basement Cat but bewhere of u soles!

BasementCatIsEverywhereTiggaxx

Jux · 14/06/2010 12:28

looooove lolcats

Jux · 14/06/2010 12:30

Actually there was a study out recently, that showed that babies who had cats in their room were subject to many fewer allergies, so having cats around is GOOD for them.

BaronessBomburst · 14/06/2010 12:39

My DH made a big fuss about cleaning out the cat tray when I was PG but regulary forgot. It would then get so full that the poor cat would go on the floor next to it instead, leaving me to clean it up because he was a work. Infinately worse than scoping out a few lumps! I just washed my hands even more super thoroughly than usual. We've hung a mosquito net over the cot to stop the cat sleeping in it during the day. It looks really pretty and has the added advantage of keeping out the mosquitoes at night. We bought it from www.klamboewinkel.nl - the site is also available in English. I'm also going to be buying one for my cousin who is PG. They come in colours too.

LifeOfKate · 14/06/2010 12:50

I was (and still am) far more concerned about the cats than I am about DS!!
One of our cats is an absolute softie with the motto 'any attention is good attention' and will lie there contentedly while fistfuls of fur come out before we've got a chance to wrestle DS away
The other one is a skittish little thing and is off out at any hint of DS's grabby little hands, so no worries there either.
I can already see that a very great friendship is going to develop between softie cat and DS and there are going to be cries of disappointment from both in a few years when we don't allow the cat to sleep on his bed at night

Morloth · 14/06/2010 12:53

LifeOfKate "we don't allow the cat to sleep on his bed at night"

How come? I love having a warm furry body over my feet. She splits her time between our bed and DS1's.

EveWasFramed10 · 14/06/2010 12:54

We have the most evil cat on planet earth...she hates everyone, and will live to be 100 just to spite us all. However, we've NEVER had any probs with her and the DCs...if they provoke her, she will bat them, but never with claws out, and for the most part, she has stayed well clear of both children since the day they were born!

So, if my two can survive with our little devil cat, then your baby should be just fine!!!

BaronessBomburst · 14/06/2010 13:04

FWIW I've posted a picture of the mosquito-netted cot on my profile pictures thingy. No idea how to link it..... Actually, it's not really that interesting but it seemed like a good idea at the time!

greenbananas · 14/06/2010 13:08

Our cat has never scratched DS, who is not yet 2, although she did bat him pretty hard (no claws!) when he pulled her tail once. They have a lovely, respectful relationship and it's beautiful to see them playing together with feathers, table tennis balls etc. I'm so glad we have a cat!

kickassangel · 14/06/2010 13:19

i have heard that cats HATE silver foil so much that they will never go back to a place they have experienced it. on that basis, my friend has got the cot ready, but put a layer of foil over it until the baby arrives - if the cat jumps in it makes so much noise it scares them, then they keep away.

you could try that if you want.

btw, we had a cat & a baby, never a problem. i have fond memories of me, the cat & the baby ALL on one seat as I tried to feed dd a bottle & express milk, at 4 am. We kept each other warm.

Vallhala · 14/06/2010 13:24

"As kids we had two cats and I don't appear to be dead." @ Dinkytinky.

Well obviously you'll get rid of the sister?

Three options Dinky - point her in the direction of information which explains why her reaction is absurd, ignore her, or tell her to feck off.

Your choice may be a little more courteous than mine would.

Carbonated · 14/06/2010 13:27

Kickass my cat kept weeing in the corner and so we tried the tinfoil trick. She weed on it

Original poster
Dinkytinky · 14/06/2010 13:28

Aww thanks baroness- I will deffo be getting one! I'm not going to let cat sleep in the cot/in our room because he is malts like crazy anyway! I'm glad you've all got common sense- part of me worried I would get flamed ha!
I could never part with old fat arse anyway, he was my 'practise baby' and bestest friend when I was sad from ttc

OP posts:
darkandstormy · 14/06/2010 13:30

Have got two cats ,and have had two babies,not a problem.Husband is a gp he has yet to see a case of toxoplasmosis.I think your sister has been reading too many fairy stories.Take not a blind bit of notice,there are plenty of households with cats and babies,tell her to get stuffed.