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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To resent paying full nursery fees when my child is illl

67 replies

OTTMummA · 14/06/2010 08:16

Ever since DS started nursery he has had something each week,, be it a cold, ear infection, conjunctivitus, and now apparently hand, foot and mouth disease ( going to doctor today ).
I have just started working, in a small place, and i don't get sick pay etc and haven't got holiday accrued yet either,
so not only do we have to pay the whole nursery fee but i don't get paid for time off either.

I wouldn't mind paying a percentage, evern 75% but the whole amount just makes me feel whats the point?

DS loves his nursery, but i am thinking maybe its not worth it tbh, if he's going to be ill every week with something we will end up losing money.
I keep him off everytime he's unwell, unless its a cold and he's eating/sleeping well
do other parents just send their kids in sick and hope the nursery don't bother sending them home?
How else could he be getting ill every week?

OP posts:

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 14/06/2010 08:19

I understand your annoyance but YABU.
Whether it is now or later when he starts school this always happens for a while they get everything going when they start mixing with other children so closely like that.

It does pass as they have had a few more of the bugs and things going around and he will be ill less.
You have to pay full fees as rhe nursery is free to take your ds he is just off ill.
It is frustrating but it does pass honestly and by the time he starts school he will hardly be off as he has had ll these things going around already.

Bucharest · 14/06/2010 08:21

It's a fact unfortunately that when children start nursery they come down with everything. It might not even be something in the nursery going round, but something other children (or yours!) have been in contact with in Asda/the park/the grandparents and taken into nursery to spread the joy!

Dd in her first year of nursery literally did one week there, one week off (tonsilitis) It does get better as their immune system toughens up. In her second year, it was less, and her third year hardly at all. T

YABU to expect money off though! They would have to employ about 5 other people just to sort out the logistics. And let's face it, the staff don't get a day off just because Junior has a bug, do they?

LoveMyGirls · 14/06/2010 08:21

When children first start in child care they do come across more germs and bugs if he didn't get them now he would get them when he started school and it's less important to miss nursery than to miss school imo.

Every type of childcare charges for illness as far as I know so it's not unusual and they still have to pay for the cost of running the nursery, you are paying for his place rather than the exact hours so maybe it's better to think of it like that?

bigstripeytiger · 14/06/2010 08:22

I think that its reasonable to have to pay the full fees even when your child is ill - the nursery still have to open and pay their staff.
How long has he been going to nursery for? Sometimes they do get ill more often when they start nursery. Being off every week doesnt sound typical. My DD have maybe missed one or two days in the last year through sickness - I would send her in to nursery if she had a cold and wasnt miserable, but would keep her off if she was 'ill' or had conjunctivitis or anything like chicken pox.

OrmRenewed · 14/06/2010 08:24

Annoying but unavoidable I think. They still have to pay their costs and wages.

cory · 14/06/2010 08:25

Lots of the time other children will be infectious without it being obviously apparent. You say yourself that you send him in if he just has a cold: quite likely that means he has given somebody else a cold that has then turned into an ear infection. This is the kind of thing that happens when lots of children are brought together with germs they are not used to. It will pass when their immunity develops. The good news is, he will have deloped this immunity before school.

As for not wanting to pay the nursery when he is ill- does your job work like this? Would you accept not getting paid if something happened to somebody else in the workplace? Could your small firm keep going if promised money did not come in?

Original poster

OTTMummA · 14/06/2010 08:30

he's been there about 2 months, and the first 2 weeks he was fine, but since then he's not had 1 full week at nursery.
sometimes is happens to be he is ill friday evening etc which is ok as we have him.
but the last 3 weeks he has only been in nursery 6 days.

He doesn't have other interaction with other children etc apart from nursery, i don't think this is normal, every weeks its something different.
DH will now have to take a week off to look after him as i can't not go in as im trying to make a good impression, plus they don't have extra staff to cover me, someone will be doing a 13 hour day today.

I think i may resign tbh, i don't want him ill every week for the nxt year.

OP posts:

Original poster

OTTMummA · 14/06/2010 08:31

i know i have to pay, but i don't have to like it lol.

OP posts:

NanKid · 14/06/2010 08:34

YABU.

Come on, you know you are. When you sign your child up for nursery, you agree to pay the fees. You don't get to pick and choose when you feel like paying.

Re: Young children getting ill. It is very normal for toddlers and pre-schoolers to have lots of colds and infections, especially once they start nursery and mix with other children more often. It is all part of building their immune system up. By school age, the coughs and colds are usually much less frequent.

bigstripeytiger · 14/06/2010 08:34

From reading your OP are you thinking of keeping your DS off nursery because of hand foot and mouth? There is no recommended exclusion period for this, so he should be able to go in if he is well enough.

HPA

cory · 14/06/2010 08:38

OTTMummA Mon 14-Jun-10 08:30:00

"I think i may resign tbh, i don't want him ill every week for the nxt year."

Then again, you might get the same situation when he starts school instead. I had that and found it far more inconvenient.

StealthPolarBear · 14/06/2010 08:39

DS was ill for 6 weeks when he first started nursery with D&V which led to infections. We moved him. He was doing Wed and Thurs & every week he'd go in on wed, come home that night, be sick, miss thursday, be ill all weekend, slowly improve just in time for....wednesday.

BigWeeHag · 14/06/2010 08:39

I'm afraid it is totally normal - I only realised this when I stopped working, when my 3 were in childcare there was literally never a week when one of them wasn't ill. THere were occasions when I had to pay for the childminder, and then pay someone else to take the child, as work were getting arsey about it!

On the plus side, DD (who has been in childcare since the age of 6 weeks, on and off) is very rarely ill. Now.

You have my sympathy, but I'm afraid you are being U - if they are providing the place then you have to pay for it whether you use it or not!

Original poster

OTTMummA · 14/06/2010 08:40

he's not well bigstripeytiger ( like the name btw) he can't eat or drink properly because his mouth is full of ulcers, and is weak, tired and very whingey.
I would send him in if he felt fine, but he's really not.
I think a week off will do him well, he's been like a newborn over the weekend, waking every 2 hours for drink and cuddles, crying then falling asleep.
I can just about manage to get some lukewarm porridge in him twice a day, but he screams at anything else i give him.

OP posts:

victoriah3 · 14/06/2010 08:43

My nursery also charges for illness and holidays. The last nursery he attended he was allowed two weeks hol at half fees so long as they had one month notice. I think there should be an element of flexibility as the contract seems very one sided. they have got you by the short and curlys.

StealthPolarBear · 14/06/2010 08:44

your poor little boy
I refuse to believe it is normal - DS spent 6 weeks with almost constant D&V, had a couple of infections, he wasn't eating, he was unhappy, he lost weight and I think his development was affected

cory · 14/06/2010 08:45

Poor little lad

skihorse · 14/06/2010 08:46

YABU.

It's like saying you won't pay your rent because you're going on holiday for 2 weeks.

Tombliboob · 14/06/2010 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

porcamiseria · 14/06/2010 09:01

tough! they have a business to run, they still have to pay staff and wages etc

I hoope he gets over this ill phase, very draining for you

abr1de · 14/06/2010 09:06

It's hard for you. But all those who say it will pay off long term are right.

Both mine did a couple of days nursery a week as babies and toddlers and my daughter, now 11, has had ONE day off sick the whole time she's been at school. My son has had two days and he's 13.

MumNWLondon · 14/06/2010 09:07

Sorry but YABU - the nursery don't save any money by him not being there, and they can't find another paying child for that day.

After having DD in a nursery for 3 months we realised it was cheaper having a shared nanny with another family - the nanny was happy to look after both babies even if they were ill.

GypsyMoth · 14/06/2010 09:07

i bet he's also got threadworm and at some point,he'll catch head lice....nasty,but just a part of childhood

cant his dad share the time off?

mnistooaddictive · 14/06/2010 09:24

I feel your pain. As everyone says, it does get better! What really gets me is we are asked to give 2 weeks notice of holidays so they can cancel food and reuse sessions if other people want extra and not bother with cover staff if someone is on holiday etc and I still have to pay full price for this! A 10% discount in this circumstance would be reasonable I think.

HappyMummyOfOne · 14/06/2010 09:24

YABU to moan about having to pay the nursery, the space is still there and its not their fault you cant use it. I'd only begrudge paying childcare if the actual service was not available.

DS caught everything going when he started reception, had we of used a nursery he might have had a far better immune system and not missed school as much. It passes, just feels hard at the time juggling everything.

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