To resent paying full nursery fees when my child is illl

[OTTMummA]

Ever since DS started nursery he has had something each week,, be it a cold, ear infection, conjunctivitus, and now apparently hand, foot and mouth disease ( going to doctor today ).
I have just started working, in a small place, and i don't get sick pay etc and haven't got holiday accrued yet either,
so not only do we have to pay the whole nursery fee but i don't get paid for time off either.

I wouldn't mind paying a percentage, evern 75% but the whole amount just makes me feel whats the point?

DS loves his nursery, but i am thinking maybe its not worth it tbh, if he's going to be ill every week with something we will end up losing money.
I keep him off everytime he's unwell, unless its a cold and he's eating/sleeping well
do other parents just send their kids in sick and hope the nursery don't bother sending them home?
How else could he be getting ill every week?

YABU but I know how hard it can be. DS has had chickenpox, urinary infection, hand foot and mouth, a D&V bug twice, nearly 10 ear infections, let alone coughs and colds and various scheduled hospital visits all in his 12 months at nursery. And we've caught more than our usual number of bugs too from our little germ magnet.

I work 4 days a week but in a 6 week period this year I averaged only 3 days since I had to take time off (unpaid - I'm a day rate contractor) to look after DS. And that is with DH taking his share of days off too. I actually questioned whether working was practical for both of us (DH works five days/week) with no family nearby.

That said, everyone we know with children says it does get better and this is just a phase.

Re hand foot and mouth my DS also could barely eat and just breast-fed (he was about 1 when he got it) that week and whimpered in my arms. DH and I caught it too and had horrid lumps in our mouths - my tongue looked crazy. DS wouldn't let us look in his mouth so we can only imagine how painful it was for him. We syringed water in to try and keep him hydrated and that helped. It didn't last more than a week though.

What I resent much more is having to pay for Bank Holidays and Christmas Week (when the nursery is shut), especially as we only use Monday, Tuesday and Wed am, so they're getting an awfully high proportion of closed days out of us.

I raised this, said it was unfair as I used mondays that i lost so many days because of BHs and they agreed and said I could have extra days to make up for any closed days. no discount though...

OTTMummA You might find a childminder more tolerant about minor illnesses. None of my minded children have been off sick for years!

They come with chickenpox, as long as other parents are happy, and they generally are, as they know their turn will come, and will be grateful for tasking their child.

I have never sent a child home as being too unwell to attend in 20 years, unless the child is really miserable and needs to be at home with mum, ~I am happy to adjust my activities and snuggle on the sofa with stories etc.

If I sent one on mine home ( 17 months) who suffers every other week from an ear infection or tonsillitis I'd never see her! She is on a waiting list for ENT everything out!

My boy is very, very clingy when not well, he is either asleep, or on me, i wouldn't feel like a decent parent putting him in nursery when he doesn't eat properly.
Ive been to collect him when they have rung and he just lies there still not wanting to do anything.
I am thinking perhaps a childminder would be better, not sure why, just an instinct.

All 3 of mine have had bugs etc within the first few months of nursery. To begin with it seems never ending but it does tail off.

WRT paying full fees, whilst it grates on me that i have to pay the full £63 per DAY when either of the dd's are off sick, i do think that it's the better option to having a nanny etc as you dont need to worry about finding holiday cover/sickness cover when they are off. Nursery just re-jig the staff to cover.

My 10 month old daughter is just about to start and we went in on Friday to do the paperwork while she played. She has been sick all weekend and in a lot of pain. I just hope it does pass and she will build up immunity to it because TBH £53 a day AND you taking time off work could cost you £100 or more and I think it encourages parents to send their children in when they are sick making the situation worse. At least when they start school you are not paying for it. I think I would feel frustrated too!

I don't quite get the point that children are building up immunity by being constantly sick. For some things, like colds, yes, because they only have to get it once. But for things like D and V, this mutates and they can get it again every six weeks or so, and ear infections can cause damage if bacterial and persistent.

I would actually think twice if my children were always sick when at a nursery, mine were mostly at home with me or their father, one day at a childminders, but never got that sick when babies and toddlers. I think a childminder might be a bit more flexible in accomodating a child who isn't really sick but say has a runny nose or whatever. Perhaps I was just pretty lucky, but I would be extremely unhappy if my under-three was permamently ill and I would be wondering how I could change the environment a bit if is went on and on (esp. given that you can't actually work anyway if they are always sick).

yes, we took DS out after 6 weeks of D&V and an on off infection which went over his birthday ;( spent the day looking pale and sick and burning up :( Moved him & apart from the odd cold, conjuntivitis and ear infections (which he was prone to) he's been fine. DD has been there for a few weeks now and so far...is fine.

susy80 - that's a very fast incubation period for an illness. Are you sure she caught it from nursery? Much more likely she picked it up somewhere else!

I actually have a backup care plan for when my son's ill to avoid having to take time off work. I'm lucky enough to be able to afford this though.

In response to the point that parents should get child-sick days - are you aware of the cost for business? Why would anyone hire anyone with young children? My employer will happily give me (unpaid) time off if my son's sick. I don't see it as their responsibility to pay me for my life choices anymore than it is the nursery's problem if my child is sick.

YABU

You are paying for care to be available for your child. The nursery nurses have to be paid whether or not your child turns up.

Colds and coughs are in inevitable part of growing up. Even if you were a SAHM your child would catch germs at mother and toddler groups. You child would be pretty miserable if you never went out anywhere.

It will get better as your child immunity improves.

I see it from both sides. I work in a nursery and my son used to also attend ( he is at school now) I also used to have to pay his fee's when he was off sick but i didnt get paid myself.

However i am tired of children coming into nursery obviously unwell and parents make excuses like he is tired this morning. Or the best one is after they have gone the child vomits and when you ring them they say oh yeah he was sick last night but i thought it was his milk ( sorry but a 3 year old shouldnt be sick after a drink of milk)Then i become ill myself and have to have time off again unpaid.

If all parents had some consideration for others and kept their child off when they are unwell so many illnesses would not get spread around nursery.

Going back to my son when he started nursery at first he caught everything, but when he started school his immunity had built up and he has had 1 day off through the whole of primary school.

YABU

BUT do hang on in there, once time has passed his immunity will build up a bit and these bouts will pass

its bad luck eh

YABU.

It is clearly one of the major drawbacks of nursery care for very young children that many of them pick up a huge number of bugs.

The only way to avoid this is to have him cared for at home.

Yes, YABU to resent paying. If you were a nursery employee and only half of "your" children turned up, would you work for half of your salary for the day? No, because you are at work, therefore the nursery should pay you your full wage.

The same thing applies to the holidays at half cost, for example - they take that into account when calculating normal everyday fees, so really it makes no difference.

If it helps, ds doesn't get ill that often anymore, which is a huge contrast to when he started nursery.

OP YANBU to resent it but like everyone else has said its the way it goes - it will get better

Hello Mums,
I'm a stay at home Dad and would like to take my 3 year old to a nursery for a day and half. I've been told different things by different Mums about paying. Please can a wise Mum advise me about this.

Do I have to pay or am I entitled to financial help ?

Do I have an option to claim anything back ?

My wife runs her own business so I'm running things at home and don't work. And I'll admit it, Dads are not as smart as Mums. However since being the only Dad at various soft play centres and coffee mornings I probably know more about George Clooney, low fat chocolate, stomach exercises and breast feeding than any other Dad.
Please advise, many thanks