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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To resent paying full nursery fees when my child is illl

67 replies

OTTMummA · 14/06/2010 08:16

Ever since DS started nursery he has had something each week,, be it a cold, ear infection, conjunctivitus, and now apparently hand, foot and mouth disease ( going to doctor today ).
I have just started working, in a small place, and i don't get sick pay etc and haven't got holiday accrued yet either,
so not only do we have to pay the whole nursery fee but i don't get paid for time off either.

I wouldn't mind paying a percentage, evern 75% but the whole amount just makes me feel whats the point?

DS loves his nursery, but i am thinking maybe its not worth it tbh, if he's going to be ill every week with something we will end up losing money.
I keep him off everytime he's unwell, unless its a cold and he's eating/sleeping well
do other parents just send their kids in sick and hope the nursery don't bother sending them home?
How else could he be getting ill every week?

OP posts:
Mishy1234 · 14/06/2010 09:27

YABU about the fees, but your frustration with the illness is totally understandable. DS was the same and I believe it's very common when a child starts nursery. It will get better though and hopefully will make it less likely your DS will pick things up when he starts school.

MintHumbug · 14/06/2010 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tothymammysing · 14/06/2010 09:33

Tombliboob I'd be really interested in a link re this if you have one?

"Its not nice but its actually proven that children who go to nursery are healthier adults.."

piscesmoon · 14/06/2010 09:37

They are a business-the only way they could cover the loss is to put up the price for everyone, to allow for it!

bentneckwine1 · 14/06/2010 09:53

The nursery my DS attended used to reduce the fees by a small amount to cover food not used during longer periods of illness and holiday.

For Example when DS had chciken pox he was absent for 3 weeks...but they didn't adjust fees for odd days here and there.

I guess it was about being seen to understand the struggles some of their parents had to meet the cost of fees. Some give and take improved the relationship between families and staff.

MarthaQuest · 14/06/2010 10:00

I'm sorry but I can't believe it's good for little ones to be permanently ill at such a young age.

Surely the lesser of 2 evils (if they have to go through this stage at all) is for them to come into contact with all the bugs when they are older and more robust.

umf · 14/06/2010 10:38

I think you're misplacing your ire - what's wrong is that you're not getting sick pay. In other countries where parents are encouraged to work and use nurseries, they get pay to cover days looking after sick children. In Sweden you're entitled to pay for 120 sick-child days a year; if you need more than that there's presumably a serious problem and you'd be looking at some form of disability support. If we're hoping to build a system here where parents really can work, then that's the kind of thing we need. But I don't think the political will is here.

Morloth · 14/06/2010 10:43

Kids are germy little ferals, this happens to most of them when they start nursery.

Original poster
OTTMummA · 14/06/2010 11:25

just got back from the doctors, he has got it, she checked his tonsils aswell and she prescribed him some penicilin antibiotics, my mum said get him some plain icecream, but the label on the antibiotics says some thickinging agent in it reduces the effectiveness of the antibiotics!
what else can i give him, he's had one of my actimel drinks this morning, but nothing else

OP posts:
Morloth · 14/06/2010 11:29

Is he hungry? Maybe frozen yoghurt? You can put those yoghurt tubes in the freezer and they are a yummy ice cream.

If he isn't hungry though, just give him plenty of water to drink and le his body get rid of the problem, he will eat a bit more for a bit after he gets better, to put back any weight he loses.

Original poster
OTTMummA · 14/06/2010 11:33

yes! although i only have strawberry bio yog, can i put that in a lolly maker into the freezer?
that should work shouldn't it?
he is hungry, not like he normally is, but if im eating he will ask for it, lick it/put it in his mouth then scream.
I might grate some cheese actually, he likes cheese, and thats soft aswell.

OP posts:
Bongobaby · 14/06/2010 11:33

my childs school that has a nursery attached. offers an insurance refund policy. for when the child is ill or has had an accident.so that if he is off school they will refund the days he wasn,t there. find out if the nursery offers this. and if they don,t then maybe ask them why not? good luck.

Missus84 · 14/06/2010 11:50

When I started working in a nursery I was ill constantly for the first couple of weeks from picking up things for the children - and the staff don't get paid sick leave! Then when I changed rooms it was the same again as I was exposed to a whole new lot of children's bugs.

abr1de · 14/06/2010 12:14

Insurance is a good idea. Can you take it privately as well?

victoriascrumptious · 14/06/2010 12:22

YABU. Small businesses like that are very fragile

WoodlandFairy · 14/06/2010 12:24

YANBU

coffeefestival · 14/06/2010 12:26

Unfortunately yes I think YABU as the nursery is still providing a place for him each day. Insurance sounds a good idea.

louloulouise · 14/06/2010 12:33

At my DS's nursery if they are off for a full week they will do it as half fees (i.e same as if you were to take them out for a holiday) but it seems this differs from nursery to nursery, we get a session in lieu for bank hols as well (as he does 5 half days) and the full timers get BHs at half fees. YABU to want to get sick time free as you are paying to keep his place even if he is not there, YANBU to not like it though!!! It would do my head in too! As with what PP have said, it's just a phase, once his immune system has been exposed to more stuff, there will be less time off ill.

WoodlandFairy · 14/06/2010 12:45

loulou BH time in leu and half time fee for full timers?! now that is not right surely? The place is not even open! We just do not pay for bank holidays. end of.

And no half time for holidays here.

WoodlandFairy · 14/06/2010 12:45

loulou BH time in leu and half time fee for full timers?! now that is not right surely? The place is not even open! We just do not pay for bank holidays. end of.

And no half time for holidays here.

WoodlandFairy · 14/06/2010 12:45

loulou BH time in leu and half time fee for full timers?! now that is not right surely? The place is not even open! We just do not pay for bank holidays. end of.

And no half time for holidays here.

WoodlandFairy · 14/06/2010 12:46

ooooh a glich! Seems to be happening a lot.

emptyshell · 14/06/2010 13:58

You're being unreasonable - kids pick up germs, lots of kids in an enclosed space = lots of germs. Essentially you have to ride out the initial barrage of him getting everything and then he'll build up immunity, then move onto school and catch everything again to start with.

Ask any teacher and they'll tell you that their first term in a new school and you come down with absolutely everything, then immunity kicks in and you only ever get ill in the holidays.

What you CAN do is to reinforce things like handwashing with him and make sure he's drilled into doing it properly (not the usual wave hands in the sink nowhere near the water and then wipe them on your trousers that most kids try to get away with) which should reduce some of the nasties getting passed around a little bit.

First half term is the worst by far anywhere though.

dixiechick1975 · 14/06/2010 14:18

It will soon get better - it's unfortunately part and parcel of starting nursery care.

I'd only keep him off if he is obviously unwell or infectious. Bit under the weather he goes - they will call if he worsens.

On the upside by the time he is at school he should have very little illness.

Might be worth sitting down and sorting out a plan for backup care when he is ill - can DH have him, can a relative do emergency care, can you work from home. He will at some point get chickenpox etc with a long exclusion period - what will you do?

Of course full fees are payable - his place is still there with all the associated costs.

aendr · 14/06/2010 14:26

Illness isn't plannable, and, as with holidays you're effectively paying for the place to be held open for the child. So, YABU.
What I resent much more is having to pay for Bank Holidays and Christmas Week (when the nursery is shut), especially as we only use Monday, Tuesday and Wed am, so they're getting an awfully high proportion of closed days out of us.