Why is it that women go out of their way to make other women feel shit?

[Harimo]

Because, until we stop doing that, feminism / womens rights / equality are just mere words.

I've just spent most of the night awake (DS went to sleep at 4:05am... DD got up at 4:50am ) I feel and look like shit.

My Dh did not get up. Slept all night in the spare room 'because he has to go to work'

Now I have fed DD. DS is still fast asleep.

Just logged on to MN and there are so many threads along the lines of 'OMG!! SHE DIDN'T HAVE MAKE UP ON A SCHOOL RUN' (Now, OK, the OP was actually dissing the article) - but that had appeared in a national newspaper in 2010 FFS!!

Today, I will manage to feed, clothe, clean and play with two babies (DS is just 2YO and DD is coming up 11MO). I will ensure that they have activities which stimulate them physical and mentally (possibly moreso to ensure they sleep later ). I will clean the house and their clothes to make sure their environment is safe and happy.

I will do this without outside help and without a DH around (He works overseas Monday to Friday).

And yet, some sad female will prefer to comment on what I have chosen to wear (which will be clean and functional). It's not fucking sex in the city!!!!

Sorry, I have had no sleep and am probably rambling, but it makes me so mad that, as women, we overlook all the brilliant things we do and, instead, comment on whether or not we have had time to apply make up or do our hair.

And we say men never grow up

And don't tell me I am being unreasonable. I have had no sleep and could be dangerous!

I noticed on another thread, that people were annoyed with some posters and were referring to them as "cows", "sad bitches" "slappers" etc...it makes me sad that women refer to each other like that, evem if they feel justifiably angry.

The way I see it is that if you put on a load of slap and fashion for the school run even when you don't want to; you will attract stupid shallow people into your life. If you be yourself then you will attract people like you.

what a load of tripe...what if being yourself is putting a bit of makeup and fashion on.

I specifically didnt say men I said patriarchy.They are not necessarily the same thing.

I have a abscess so will be doing the school run this morning with a very swollen face, lack of sleep and unwashed hair.......oh the shame the shame

Good luck! ignore them all, those who project to have perfect lives, generally dont at all!!

MN is very critical, or at least AIBU is, but I don't mind that because I get to see what people who are different to me think and why they choose to live as they do.

I don't find women to be more competitive or judgey in real life than men are- quite the opposite in fact. I have found women to be very supportive both at work and at home.

I sometimes meet women in RL who say spiteful things about people, but I just tune out what they are saying. I don't know why they do it, but I don't feel a need to be annoyed with them. There is some possibly some underlying issue in their own life.

I think the OP should ignore these stupid newspaper articles. A lot of journalists seem to be paid to write nonsense. Half the posters on MN could do a better job.

I think saying women criticising each other is damaging feminism is absolutely ridiculous. Men have been actually SLAUGHTERING each other for millenia, and it doesn't seem to have done male power much harm does it?

If someone's rude comments make you feel bad it's probably because you secretly think they've got a point. Get some balls and stop caring what randomers might think - their thoughts don't have to affect you if you don't let them

I have jeans and a flowered top today...
Now flip flops or shoes?

Right, so your lazy bastard husband slept all night and left you to deal with two children on your own?

But your bad mood is the fault of other women you don't know?

Not, say, the man who shares your house but not the work of making it run?

YABVVVVVVU

Your problem is not with womankind, it is with one man, and you are being extremely sexist to make stupid generalised comments about how judgmental and shallow women are.

You're doing pretty much exactly what your OP complains about.

Instead of blaming other women for everything, how about you look at where the actual power lies?

You could start with your home...

My two pennarth is this -

We all judge and have opinions about people. Men and women alike. If you have a strong reaction to something out there in the world - it is invariably about something important and personal to you.

We have a lady at playgroup who is refered to by me as "fashion pants". She comes dressed in 6 inch stilleto boots, proper designer gear, full make up and hair done. I thought at first she was coming from work but I recently saw her in the supermarket looking exactly the same. Me - I'm usually clean-ish, no make up, wet hair from naptime shower, jeans, thongs etc.
I know that my gentle ribbing of this woman is because I am slightly in awe of her ability to look like that while raising a child. It does make you feel slightly inferior when standing next to her.

The thing is - it's OK to have opinions, you just have to engage your brain before you voice them. That's probably the hardest thing of all! Women are programmed to communicate, emote and work in social groups, without the brain engaged you end up with gossip and nastiness and that's why it seems women do it more than men (not true btw).

This is very interesting, I often worry about this, I like to blame advertising, that's what tells us how we should look and what we should do at every given stage of our lives.
I think we just need to be aware that they (the man!) are constantly trying to sell us something, and that by judging others based on adverts we are just playing into their hands.
Why do we need false nails, fake tan, highlights, fashionable clothes, because large companies make a fortune out of it.