Why is it that women go out of their way to make other women feel shit?

[Harimo]

Because, until we stop doing that, feminism / womens rights / equality are just mere words.

I've just spent most of the night awake (DS went to sleep at 4:05am... DD got up at 4:50am ) I feel and look like shit.

My Dh did not get up. Slept all night in the spare room 'because he has to go to work'

Now I have fed DD. DS is still fast asleep.

Just logged on to MN and there are so many threads along the lines of 'OMG!! SHE DIDN'T HAVE MAKE UP ON A SCHOOL RUN' (Now, OK, the OP was actually dissing the article) - but that had appeared in a national newspaper in 2010 FFS!!

Today, I will manage to feed, clothe, clean and play with two babies (DS is just 2YO and DD is coming up 11MO). I will ensure that they have activities which stimulate them physical and mentally (possibly moreso to ensure they sleep later ). I will clean the house and their clothes to make sure their environment is safe and happy.

I will do this without outside help and without a DH around (He works overseas Monday to Friday).

And yet, some sad female will prefer to comment on what I have chosen to wear (which will be clean and functional). It's not fucking sex in the city!!!!

Sorry, I have had no sleep and am probably rambling, but it makes me so mad that, as women, we overlook all the brilliant things we do and, instead, comment on whether or not we have had time to apply make up or do our hair.

And we say men never grow up

And don't tell me I am being unreasonable. I have had no sleep and could be dangerous!

YANBU. Well said OP! Was thinking the same thing the other day after reading a column in the newspaper (comments along the line if "How hard is it to put on some tinted moisturiser?" and moaning about flip flops being worn. , but you've put it much so much better than I could have! I love clothes, shoes and make-up, but if time is short and it's a choice of getting the DCs ready, fed and out the door or preening myself, then I know what is more important.

I've had the DCs (3YO and 9MO) on my own for 5 days while DH is away at the 24 hour race in Le Manns (not that I mind that! I had a spa day the other weekend and have planned a night away with a friend in a few weeks.), plus had my Mum down who had been ill, so sue me if I don't put on mascara to go to the post office!

Hope you have a good day!

i work FT and I dont get this un-sisterly shit. I see/experience a great deal of solidarity with my other friends that work too. sounds like these school gate Mums are a bunch of cxxts,if I beleive what I read on here I thank god I am the breadwinner and dont have to deal with this shit!

language!

There used to be quite a few 'school run dress' threads on here.

People actually buy clothes specifically to wear to ferry their kids to/from school?!

I could never get my head round that but whateva.

I use makeup because I'd probably frighten young children if I didn't - sun damage = blotchy skin and although I'm 39, I still have oily skin and acne!

But other than that and hair dye from a box once a month, I can't be arsed and if you asked me what someone was wearing about a minute after I saw them I couldn't tell you because I don't give a toss.

Erin Pizzey is a hero of mine and I remember her saying that during the period where she was running Chiswick Women's Aid, she was interviewed by lots of journalists.

She said that "the women journalists go on at great length on how big I am and what I am wearing. Whereas male journalists get on with the job of talking about the mothers and kids."

They are just insecure and have to validate their choices by making it the choice.

I once had a friend who gave a very good answer which I now use for everything -I just say 'It is not my priority at the moment'. There is really no answer to it because it implies that it might be one day, but really you have more important things to occupy you at the present time.

(She was talking about housework, but it works equally for dress codes or child care methods or anything!)

I do draw the line at people who can't be bothered to get out of their pajamas to go about in public.

Or put on shoes.

This is the UK.

Shame you don't have kids in (nursery) school. I find it very therapeutic to shout at the wankers people who park on zig zag lines outside the school.

I park on the double yellows whilst I chuck ds through the nursery door in a mad rush to get to work on time. I have full make up on but it is applied at lightening speeds. I dont get all this have a go crap, how do people even notice? my eyes are generally still glued half shut with sleep.

YANBU at all, I am clean but I am not dressed to the nines to do the school run, house work and so on.

Getting a brush through my hair, cleaning my teeth, quick wash of face and clean clothes is the best I can do for a school run morning.

When I used to drop off at school then go to work (office) I would be seen on the tube putting on the make up, now I work in catering it is a case of hair back and apron on.

yanbu. An achievenment to me is getting the kids to school on time let alone getting dressed with make up on etc.

Riven - Yes I'm mystified by that too.

I can scrape myself together but it does take me a lot longer than 5 minutes or even 15 tbh. And it usually doesn't all come together for the school run. Maybe I'm lucky, but most of the mums at our school look pretty much the same as me so I don't feel especially pressured by this.

I do think pj's and slippers to go out in is taking it too far though, but haven't personally seen that here.

YANBU.

Even DH gets narky about this. I buy crap mags like Heat [embarrassed] to read on the train to work and DH will pick them up and go ballistic about their bullying of women not looking "perfect".

I really must stop buying these magazines because I am joining in the bullying, I think.

Personally, I get up and hour early to get my hair washed and make-up on but that's to do with my issues about how I look and I am actually pretty bloody jealous of women who are happy enough to go out with un-made-up faces and tied up hair. I would love to go out au naturelle. I imagine it's very liberating.

I woke up very late today, as in I woke up at the time we are supposed to LEAVE

I have been ill since friday night, haven't managed to saty off the toilet much and awful awful cramps that I had to brethe through some of them

I jave also been very worried about my friend

basically I have had much less slepp than the littlebit I get anyway

so three kids were woken up, toilet, teeth, bread and cheese, wiped faces, apporpriate clothing, decent shoes( that I managed to buy in a shop with its own toilet yesterday) and dd2 was 10 mins late nursery and the pother two weren;t late

BUT

I leapt out of bed, pulled on a dirty t shirt and jammie bottoms, jammed my feet into trainers that are knackered and hurt my feet without sock, didn't touch my hair, brush my teeth or eat.

I was cold, sore, manky, desperate for a wee and looked awful but the kids got to school

for some reason I dont matter in my head

it upsets me, I dont know why

I'm sorry
I agree with you

but I lost it a bit and rambled, sorry

well, riven you'd be pleased that the Council are fining people around here for parking on the sloping sidewalk thus blocking access.

Agree with everything thats already been said. I think lack of sleep is seriously underestimated in the impact it has on people, especially women because they tend to do most of the night waking duties.

I can still rememeber the days before dd, I got up, had a shower, washed hair, defuzzed, maybe all with a little song, decided what to wear, get dressed whilst listening to the radio, arrive at work refreshed and ready to go. Now? Woke up by either a cry/srcream/mummmmmmmmyyyyyy, change nappy, get down the stairs without either of us falling down, make tea/milk, manage to sit down and put news on for 10 minutes before the requests for Postman pat start, and I wonder if i will manage to get anyhting done today.

By McSnail Mon 14-Jun-10 08:53:59
"There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." Madeline Albright.

Love it

Noooo, I've got to get washing done

YANBU. I always put on a bit of colour when going out to school, in fear of some of the mums commenting on how i look (behind my back of course, but you can tell when someone is starring at you and talking about you cant you?)

Oh Trinity, I've had mornings like that! You did very well considering you've not been well.
Have you managed to grab a shower? Did you get any brekkie?

Judge away ... Needs must, NO WHERE else to park and apparantly according to the nursery it was a mistake anyway

unfortunately its most mornings

I've plugged the boiler back in and I'll be able to get a shower later

I have eaten something