is this a reasonable amount to live on?

[ilovehens]

Or would it be classed as a small amount?

£20,280 (net) for a family of four - 2 adults and 2 children under 12.

This is after small housing costs.

Just want opinions really.

I think you rarely regret having been poor but you might well regret not having the children you want when you want them. No one in the uK can't have another child (if physically they can) as the state provides. It just depends how little money you can cope on and what other work you might get. It's all to play for. Things like the years when I saw 5am tio 7am as working hours on a Saturday when the twins were babies before their first breastfeed but then I Had found some work i could do at home. I do think if people really want things they can make them happen.

We have no family nearby to help out. If we did we would consider it.

I am not on a low wage so the chance of it doubling is very slim!

I am kinda with Xenia

It depends on your priorrities though

if you want it enough you could make it happen but there's nothing wrong with valueing the lifestyle or job you ahve an awful lot and as much as anohter child.

And tbh if I were planning another (no!!!!! saving for a vasectomy for dh more like LOL- still amazed at an 18 month wait for a family of 4 kids where two have a genetic disorder but anyway) i;d be waiting to see how the next year or so at least pans out.

Xenia the state does not provide for middle income earners like me. I don't believe in having a child fully intending to take advantage of the benefit system. Benefits are there to help people out when they hit unforsees circumstances not this situation.

If dp was the major wage earner things could be different, if he could get paternity pay again things may be differnet.

We are not doing anything drastic, no vasectomy etc so if things change for the better we may change our mind. But at the moment it is a no.

Good luck whichever way it goes, Katy.

Thanks Sancti, the world does look a little dark and scary at the moment. Roll on the end of term.

What I mean is you will not starve if you have another baby. You might have to give up work and mind the baby but you won't starve. The state provides. the state will not not support you because you choose to be at home with a baby or indeed 10 more babies. Thus you are making an economic choie ) would rather have this work and money and not let my partner ever have a child. That's a choice. There's nothing wrong with it but it is a choice.

My take is difference because for some reason I've always found it reasonably easy to earn more money and at times even double my income so if I've needed more I've just tried other ways to generate income and try to do a portfolio of different earning things. Most fail but enough have worked such that I could have 5 children (and I've always worked full time) but I would never have sacrificed not having the children I wanted because of money things.

Can't DP earn more money or if he is o badly paid stay home and do the child care though?

He is at home part time Xenia which is why he earns less than me. He seems to think he could care for a baby and continue to work from home as he does now between 9 and 3pm. I think it is quite obvious he has never had a baby before.

katy, then that's his choice - let him care for it and if can't manage he'sll have to work 6 - mid night or 8[m to 2am as plenty of us manage when we have to if we want lots of children and a decent living but it just depends on people's priorities. It just struck me as very sad that someone might not have a child just because of money issues.

My children don't have out of school things. Children don't need that stuff.

It is sad Xenia but it is the real world for many of us. Anyhow I am finding this depressing so I am off.

We bought our house and had one DC on about 19k, will have 3 DCs and the house and DH earns between 22-30k depending on overtime. Very easy on 19k, even with a mortgage if you have no car loans, general loans, credit cards etc. We have accrued some though over the years and it's definatly obvious to see how quickly it could spiral, or things get very tight. You just don't have the 'spare' few hundred to commit extra outgoings, but if you are happy not having loans, C cards, car on finance then around 20k is more than enough.

I was trying to cheer you up, saying all is possible, just go ahead and do it. If the only issue is whether the never had a child partner tries to work whislt looking after his baby 9 - 3 and that is hard for him then he will cope like the rest of us and if necessary he will work 10pm to 4am for this tiny tiny period when children need us a lot and then when he's my age he'll have loads of lovely helpful older children. I thihk if you've had children and he never has he is almost owed one in a sense. Most men with children who remarry someone who has never had a child tend to let her have one. Should work in reverse.

Agree with Xenia / Riv

adn don't discount working from home with a baby; I managed to write a dissertation, sit exams, and did well with a baby and care fo 3 opthers, 2 autistic. I am as far removed from superwoman as you could imagine.

Years ago many of us had no option: back in the day (OK a decade ago LOL) when I had my older 2, tehre were no TC's etc: maternity leave typically ran out when baby was 9 weeks and you coped. wasn't always easy but I am not so sure easy is always good.

Mind, I bet MIL will go onto her deathbed wishiong she had less chidlren LOL. Or arther, maybe not dh .

As for not claiming- I admore your stance Katy, and I think others could elarn from it. We have chosen not to claim CTB that we are entitled to for no doubt similar reasons. However do think about CB: it shouldn't be claimed whn not neededbut teh Government don't really pay it out of charity- it's an investment for them: your child's taxes, future NI, caring for you possibly as you age......

Difficult isn't it, I can see how it's a struggle between wanting another child and knowing it will make things financially tough for a while. I think if the baby is a happy accident then you just work round it, but for a lot of people it seems wrong to plan a baby you think you might struggle to afford...I can sympathise with that.

I have often thought about having a 3rd child, more so now DS1 is at secondary school. I could cope financially albeit with a fair bit of belt tightening...however I have no man, not even on the distant horizon, and I'm 38. So I rather think that ship has sailed.

hs, you certainly don't need a man to have a child. Go forth and have triplets.

I think when you have grown up in poverty and have experience harsh poverty with your first child it makes you very cautious.

Xenia, triplets might be a bit much ....I know I don't need a man, but having been entirely on my own with DS1 (father disappeared before he was born) and effectively on my own with DS2 (his father was around but less than useless) I always said if I ever had a third baby I wanted to have the proper family set-up that everyone else has!