to go back to work full time?

[mooki]

I currently work four days a week. I enjoy my job.

I have one day a week at home with my daughter, who is 2.8. We do have lots of lovely time together, but also sometimes, frankly, being at work is less stressful.

The rest of the time DD is looked after by my mum and dad for one day and spends three days with a childminder. She will start pre-school on the three childminder afternoons in September.

I have an interview for a job next week. It is a 6 month secondment from my current position and is a very interesting opportunity. But is likely to require me to go full time for the period of the secondment. (I would have to check but afterwards I assume I could go back to my current hours).

DD will start school in two years, at which point I would go back full time anyway.

I only know one other woman with a child the same age as mine who works full time - she is a lawyer and actually, she's on mat leave anyway at the moment. On the other hand, my husband works five days a week and sometimes on weekends or evening too as do most of the fathers I know.

AIBU to consider turning down the chance to be with DD for an interesting work opportunity?

I'd def go for it. But then, I wohm ft, so don't see a particular problem with that

YANBU - think sometimes you need to put your needs first(if you dont feel sane and fulfilled, then it's likely that your DD will pick up on this).

I've worked FT since DS was 8 months old (although I work from home one day a week) and although it's mainly for financial reasons, it also tends to keep me sane!

So, go for the job opportunity if that's what you want.

Your priorities, your choice - wouldn't do it myself but each to their own.

No, you're not.
I went back to work ft when my DD1 was 6 mo. I now work pt but am considering finding something ft again.
For me, the benefits of being ft (money, more interesting work, career advancement in particular) make it very tempting. And as long as you have good childcare in place and are not going to beat yourself up about missing things (which will, inevitably happen, no matter how hard you try) then why not?

Also, even when you are FT might it be possible for you to work from home an afternoon or two a week? Might help you achieve that elusive balance.

Do you working from home types have your DC at home at the same time?

I can barely check mumsnet make an important phone call when it's my day with DD. (Which is sometimes what makes it stressful - I'm trying to spend a day with her but also deal with the plumber/ get the washing on/ tidy the house...)

I would say go for it. I have 2DDs. I returned to WOHM FT when DD1 was 7mo. Then had DD2 when DD1 was 27mo. Took 9 months ML and returned to work 5 days a week but finishing at lunch time twice a week. So actually only working 80% of a full week.
This has been nice as, for the past 10 months I have picked DDs up from CM (or pre-school for DD1 once a week) and we have had lots of extra time together.

However, in 2 months time I will return to work full-time. DD1 will go t pre-school for 3 days (which she is really looking forward to) and DD2 will be with the CM 4 days a week.

I am doing this for career reasons and my personal wishes more than the increase in money - which will be off set in fees for CM and pre-school, but we as a family are all happy and comfortable with the decision.

You can only do what works for your family and that tends to be different for each family.

Good luck.

I would say go for it. I have 2DDs. I returned to WOHM FT when DD1 was 7mo. Then had DD2 when DD1 was 27mo. Took 9 months ML and returned to work 5 days a week but finishing at lunch time twice a week. So actually only working 80% of a full week.
This has been nice as, for the past 10 months I have picked DDs up from CM (or pre-school for DD1 once a week) and we have had lots of extra time together.

However, in 2 months time I will return to work full-time. DD1 will go t pre-school for 3 days (which she is really looking forward to) and DD2 will be with the CM 4 days a week.

I am doing this for career reasons and my personal wishes more than the increase in money - which will be off set in fees for CM and pre-school, but we as a family are all happy and comfortable with the decision.

You can only do what works for your family and that tends to be different for each family.

Good luck.

No, when I work from home I have childcare too. No way could I work and deal with a child - neither of my DDs is quiet for more than 30 mins at a time and if I have to make a call you can guarantee a tantrum.
But if I am at home I can be there for dinner, bathtime, breaks etc, and we can have a more leisurely breakfast together or I could pop out to do the school run or for a quick play in the garden.

i couldn't/wouldn't do it personally.

your time with them at home goes by so quickly. it seems a shame to miss out on more than you have to
like you say, there is plenty of time to go f/t once she is at school so why not make the most of your time together while you can>

I'd say go for it, with one consideration - secondments often turn into permanent posts. Would you be happy to carry on full-time beyond the 6 months if you really liked the post? Or would you want to try to negotiate to carry on in the job but part-time hours? Just worth thinking about now.

Also, are you sure it would require full-time? Lots of job ads say this without really having thought about it - a lot of managers are convinced that they need full-time people without really any convincing evidence. Though I would stay clear of that at the interview, and instead, if you're offered the job, then say you currently work 4 days and wondered about doing this one the same way.

Ah, ok. My current role is all local and office based and isn't too bad in that I drop DD off at the CM at 8.30am and pick her up at 5.30pm on the way home.

The one I have the interview for would likely involve a bit more travelling about, which could mean more unpredictable hours.

given you work 4days a 5day week isnt massive change.if secondment opens other career opportunities and is stimulating then yes do it

good luck

thisisyesterday; yes that's exactly what the IABU bit of my head is telling me.

Eightieschick - yes the thought had crossed my mind too, its an internal position and I thought the person who had moved (thus creating this rarely available type of post) had gone on to a permament appointment.

I am assuming that it would need to be full time because of what I know about the job - it would involve more external meetings than my current role - ones which I might may not be able to organise the timings of.

So even if they didn't need me 37.5 hours a week, it might not be so easy just to arrange to never work on a friday IYSWIM.

YANBU. Good luck! Have a browse on here for all the "is 4 day a week really PT" threads too.

personally it wouldn't be right for me, but only you know if its right for you.

good luck.

I think going from 4 days to 5 days is neither here nor there really. What would worry me more is the increased travelling and unpredictability. I have always worked 5 days a week since DS was 6 months, but it's office based and I wouldn't be keen on the early starts/late finishes involved in a job with lots of travelling - in fact I've actively avoided it.

it's only an extra day, I don't think it makes a lot of difference. It sounds like you want to as you said you find the day off with her stressful anyway, and nothing wrong with that.

fact you have interview indicates you want to do it. given you must have shown willingness, fancied it etc

Good luck, mooki.

I think one thing that might help you put it in perspective is that if you presently work 4 days a week, you don't have 1 day a week with your daughter, you have 3 (being as there are seven days in the week!)

In a way, there is no such thing as fulltime, as you will always have SOME time with your family.

So, perhaps thinking that you are going for an advancement in your career, which means that you will need to work for 5 days but you will still get 2 days with your DD.

And perhaps the extra cash would pay for a cleaner/lawn mower/someone to iron etc so that those 2 days are really precious.

Just a suggestion on how to get your head round it. Also, don't compare yourself to your friends, but do what it right for your and your family.

The most interesting jobs are ft, because they are not artificially cut to suit flexible hours. You will also feel more on par with your colleagues.

FT within set hours is fine but the travel and unpredictability would be a bit more of an issue with me. Can your childcare be flexible enough to cope? There is potential for a lot of stress if not, particularly when your dd starts school.

scottishmummy - sort of - I'm happy in my current job and can afford to stay on four days a week but the job I have an interview for is in an area which is my longer term dream but opportunities in it come up rarely, so I didn't want to not apply at all. The fact that I've even got an intereview is quite a lift.

I only found out about the post the day before the closing date (because my manager asked me if I'd seen it) so applied in a slight panic last night.

I can go to the interview with the position that I would only be interested if they were prepared to consider me on my current hours (they are not obliged to support my current flexible working arrangements) or I can go with the attitude that were they to say full time only' I would be prepared to accept.

I'm genuinely not sure which at the moment.

I would not make any stipulations before they actually offer you the job. Then you are in a position of strength as you know they want you, and if they're sensible, they'll compromise accordingly to get the right person. I'd avoid the possibility of some knob on the interview panel taking your desire to work 4 days badly and that obscuring the fact that you suit the job. Sad that this is still the case but force them to make the decision based on you and your qualities, not the no of hours you want to work.

negotiate from position of strength if they offer post.no stipulations prior to interview

Absolutely. Only raise the issue of hours when the job offer is on the table. You can decide how far to push it then.

YANBU at all, but as others have said if they offer you the job you can always bring up hours then and you may find that they're more flexible than you think.