to go back to work full time?

[mooki]

I currently work four days a week. I enjoy my job.

I have one day a week at home with my daughter, who is 2.8. We do have lots of lovely time together, but also sometimes, frankly, being at work is less stressful.

The rest of the time DD is looked after by my mum and dad for one day and spends three days with a childminder. She will start pre-school on the three childminder afternoons in September.

I have an interview for a job next week. It is a 6 month secondment from my current position and is a very interesting opportunity. But is likely to require me to go full time for the period of the secondment. (I would have to check but afterwards I assume I could go back to my current hours).

DD will start school in two years, at which point I would go back full time anyway.

I only know one other woman with a child the same age as mine who works full time - she is a lawyer and actually, she's on mat leave anyway at the moment. On the other hand, my husband works five days a week and sometimes on weekends or evening too as do most of the fathers I know.

AIBU to consider turning down the chance to be with DD for an interesting work opportunity?

I can pretend to be Xenia. I heart money too

hmm...

Are you really putting your job ahead of your daughter by working ft?

My take on this is that me, my DH and our girls all have a role to play for the happy sailing of the good ship Haliborange. So, if sometimes that means that the best thing for all of us is 2 ft working parents then fine.

I really don't get why MN seems to have been invaded by working mother-haters lately. Working ft does not equate to never seeing your children. In fact, I suspect that when I was working (am on mat leave) my DD1 did a lot better out of it. She had a nanny whose job was to give her oodles of attention all day and then when I was around I was up for doing all the fun stuff (and I could afford to buy in help so she didn't need to schlep round Tescos or sit about being bored while I cleaned). Now I am on mat leave it is harder for me to get past the admin to the bits we both enjoy. Working can be a very good thing IME.

Just to second what Haliborange says.

I'm the child of a FT working mum. My mother worked FT for a lot of my childhood - we had a nanny during the day.

The nanny was much better at all the kiddie activities that we wanted to do. But we were still very close to our mum and went to her with all our "emotional" stuff (in the evenings/at weekends). I really feel we got the best of both worlds.

If you think you'd miss your daughter on that 5th day and that would outweigh your enjoyment of the new job, then don't do it.

But don't turn it down just because you think your daughter would suffer. She won't.

Mooki - I am a FT mum to 3yo DS but I work every other Friday by working more hours one week than the other.

Result - full time input and career plus pay and conditions but every other Friday to do mummy things. And I make sure I only do mummy things on that day to make it really worthwhile (for me more than him TBH) and he spends the other Friday with Daddy.

House is a mess tho...

I did this under flexible working - maybe worth a quiet chat with someone in the team to see what their reaction would be?

If it's what you want to do, do it. Don't feel guilty. Is your DD going to be looked after by people who care for her? In which case she will be fine.

I worked ft when my first and second child were little - had to. I did go part-time when Ds2 was born until he went to school but am back ft now. They seem pretty OK, more than OK, and they love me a great deal more than I deserve I suspect. They have always known they are loved and valued.

mooki, you might find it hard work now but you might find yourself enjoying your dd so much more once she is older.

Your dd will most likely be fine without that extra day. You see her in the mornings/evenings and weekends. That is plenty time - hardly putting your career ahead of her.

I compare the time I was at home to the time I am now working ft. I don't know my dd/ds any less just because they attend school or someone else looks after them during the day.

In fact, hth, I can say I probably know them more than anyone else, with dh who works ft a close second. Completely up-to-the-minute sstuff like their best friend of the week, who fell out with who in the pplayground, their fave treat of the day, what they will or will not eat for dinner, what snack they like me to pack in their lunchboxes, their fave outfit, what they like to do at weekends, what crafty thing they are making at home, which jigsaws, cardgames, after school activities, playdates etc.

I am not sure I have brain space for anything more.

It is not as if you go to the doctor, you bring the nanny so that you can ask her what tyour dd's symptoms are. Honestly, people who think ft work must mean little or no parenting are silly and somewhat deluded.

Don't be brainwashed by unthinking comments. In one ear, out the other. When your dd is grown up, you will have as lovely and talented a dd as any other martyr mother AND a shining career to look back with pride on. I cannot think of anything better.

I'd go for the secondment opportunity and see what happens presuming your current job would be held for you.