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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hope my DD is a lesbian?

69 replies

foreverastudent · 09/06/2010 15:04

I've just read yet another F*ing awful relationship thread on here. OMG!

If the relationships it seems that these Mumsnetter have, are typical of relationships then I hope my DD is a lesbian!

The though of her growing up and ending up with one of these w*s/b**s is seriously depressing me.

Were men always this bad? Will our sons be any different.

Examples of behaviour:
attempted murder
physical abuse
controlling behaviour
lying
cheating
not pulling weight re: chores and childcare
not sharing money evenly
not respecting partner
emotional abuse
blackmail
verbal abuse
rape
acting like a child
not taking responsibility for actions
running up secret debts
drink+drug abuse
addiction to porn
'using' lapdancing clubs

OP posts:
Fibilou · 09/06/2010 15:05

i have similar hopes for my DD

Iklboo · 09/06/2010 15:06

Women can and do most of the above as well - it's not strictly restricted to men

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 09/06/2010 15:06

Lesbians can also have abusive relationships, sorry.

Poshwellies · 09/06/2010 15:07

YABU

Not ALL men are abusive and I'm sure there are abusive lesbian and gay people

Teach your daughter about healthy behaviour towards others,it's all we can do really isn't it?

namingnevereasy · 09/06/2010 15:07

YABU women are capable of being abusive too or just plain nasty.

scurryfunge · 09/06/2010 15:08

Abuse is not restricted to heterosexual relationships

OrmRenewed · 09/06/2010 15:08

Gosh don't women do any of these things then?

Jamieandhismagictorch · 09/06/2010 15:09

It has crossed t my mind to hope my DSs are gay. Would not have to cope with a woman as a DIL

But seriously . Naturally our sons will be different

MathsMadMummy · 09/06/2010 15:09

it's not all bad OP (and I do agree that women are capable of the above anyway)

it's just that the good blokes don't get posted about do they?

so I would like to make it known that my DH, for example, is fucking fantastic.

LetThereBeRock · 09/06/2010 15:09

Exactly what Poshwellies said.

ItISBigandClever · 09/06/2010 15:10

YABU - and quite shockingly ignorant.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 09/06/2010 15:10

My DH is also fucking fantastic. As is my brother, and all my male friends (this could get really boring ...)

Iklboo · 09/06/2010 15:10

My DH would only be f*cking fantastic if I changed my name to 'fantastic'

I'm kidding of course. He's 99.9999% great.

Alouiseg · 09/06/2010 15:11

No one ever posts on here how fabulous, thoughtful, kind and loving their dh/dp are.

It's like the news, you only hear the bad stuff.

Men aren't all bad, women aren't all good.

So I will have to conclude that yabvu.

glasgowmandy · 09/06/2010 15:11

i dont think that just depends on the sex of a person, it depends on their personality does it not? i have such a wonderful partner who would die for me and my child, treats me so much love and respect, i have a freidn whos in a relationship with a woman, and all they do is argue and i have seen them almost scratch each others eyes out! so its not just men, i dont think it would be fair to say all men are bastards! i know there are some disgusting men out there who are frankly justa waste of sperm,
but my mother in law done an amazing job bringing up her son to be such a wonderful person.

BessieBoots · 09/06/2010 15:12

I don't have any hopes for the sexual orientation of my children- I just want them to be happy, respectful and respected within their relationships.

UnquietDad · 09/06/2010 15:12

Men are all like this of course, and women are all lovely

Booboobedoo · 09/06/2010 15:12

I know more decent, kind men than decent, kind women. (Imo).

scurryfunge · 09/06/2010 15:12

ditto Bessie

KurriKurri · 09/06/2010 15:15

Not all men are like this - that's a ridiculous suggestion. I think the best we can hope for our children is that they are happy in their relationship whatever their sexual orientation.
My children are both grown up, and hopefully I've taught them what is and isn't acceptable behaviour, and how to respect themselves so that they won't tolerate being treated abysmally whether their partners are same or opposite sex.

glasgowmandy · 09/06/2010 15:17

no, not alllll men are like this, but not allll women are lovely either, what about the poor men that are suffering in aabusive relationships aswell, that most are too scared to admit! woman can also be cruel, as too can men, i also hope bessie that my child is happy, respectful and respected herself, whatever path she takes x

DilysPrice · 09/06/2010 15:17

When was the last time anyone's male partner got any credit on these threads? I've seen more threads in praise of MILs than of husbands. I think we need a few more threads extolling the virtues of the many hard-working, loving, long-suffering fathers out there whose worst fault is an addiction to Half Life 2 or a pathological inability to remember bin day. It would be nice to do it without being accused of being smug - what are the odds?

Rather than thinking that the grass is greener, our DDs need to learn how to spot a tosser, that it's better to be single than to be in a crap relationship, and a proper sense of self-esteem.

glasgowmandy · 09/06/2010 15:19

hear hear!!! well said dily!! they dont get enough credit by far!!! my partner works 16 hour days to look after us, does everything for his little girl and me, im lucky, and ive had my fair share of tosspots! x

Habbibu · 09/06/2010 15:21

You do occasionally get threads in praise of male partners, and they are quite popular. But it's like watching the news - it's only usually the bad stuff that gets posted. My DH is fab, fwiw.

NetworkGuy · 09/06/2010 15:29

Just as MMM indicated - "It's just that the good blokes don't get posted about do they?" and others have mentioned the news, where relatively little "good news" gets in, where the worst events are covered thoroughly (or to excess).