To be feeling upset, annoyed, angry that DP does not want to get married????

[3peasinapod]

We are 14 years together with 3 kids and i feel at this stage i would like to get married. I talked to DP about this a while back and he agreed, i went ahead and rang regitery office and got appointment to set date etc. On the day before we were due to go to to the appointment at the registery office i sat and asked DP about setting a date etc. He just said i dont care when we do it, and by his tone he just really didnt care. So i cancelled the appointment had a huge row. It has been brough up a few times since but when i told DP how sad i felt about the while situation he said he would organise the registery office ~(he never did)
AIBU to feel upset, angry, annoyed!??

Congratulations from me too!

My last words here to slouchingtowardswaitrose,
There was a "golden age" of cohabitation about 20 years ago i.e. it was no longer frowned upon to cohabit BUT as soon as children and permanency came along, people wed.
Thus people had freedom to experiment but were also protected when kids came along.

Now various threads of society insist that marriage and cohabitation are equal (the change in words from "shacking-up" to living together, "boyfriend" to "partner", the idea that marriage is just a, "piece of paper") so it is our fault for perpetuating this myth.
Next time I shall not be so lazy and nod my head in agreement when someone says, "It's just a piece of paper", and instead say, "Well, your commitment may be the same, but legally it's different. You can't expect the state to know what you're doing behind closed doors if you don't make a statement of intent by marrying".

The desire to be politically correct and treat everyone the same will lead to much heartache- as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I will not be married by default though, my divorce is painful enough without some "well meaning" numpty thinking they have the right to decide what my legal wishes are/were just because I've had a relationship with someone under the same roof for a few years!

Wonderful news OP - congrats!

thesecondcoming
Many of your points i would have considered aswell, we went through an time after having our children where DP did get sick and if anyhing happened in that time we would have been left with nothing. (even though i do get along great with his family and i know they would see us right) But it was enough for us to go and sort out our wills, and make DP a legal gardian over the children if anything ever happened to me..
I even remember saying to the solictor it would be just easier to go and get married then sorting the wills in a way where we are all secure, appointing gardians for the children, etc.
Hope you do get to talk him round and plus it does not have to be expensive.

Thanks ladies i am very and really releived about the whole thing.

Awwwww, how lovely, OP! See - how many people posted that he was just being a BLOKE?!

I remember me having a massive argument when we were making our wedding plans because, while we'd decided against a big day and planned to do it abroad, he had NO interest on the location/date/what he wore/who came. i.e. Every single detail of the whole thing. I took his blatant lack of interest as meaning that he didn't really want to marry me - cue big hormonal strop and him just pleading "But I DO want to marry you - I would do it on a rubbish dump if that's what you wanted, I just don't give a shit what colour balloons we have at our reception party, (and do we really have to have a reception party?) and I don't give a shit what we wear either, I JUST WANT TO GET MARRIED! I don't want the wedding part!"

Seeing as I felt the same way things turned out fine, but it was just the fact of him seeming completely disinterested when I was saying "Should we have this? Wear that? Invite X? Have these flowers?"

Men dont' give a shit about the details and it takes a while for women to work this out, I think, and that was clearly what was happening in your case, OP!

Many congratulations!