In thinking this is the smuggest article I have ever had the misfortune to read

[mrsshackleton]

"We are so bloody marvellous and everyone else is wrong"

I've never read such a load of judgemental codswallop

Branded Winnie the Poo equipment - OMG!!

I had mine in my twenties and I'm now inmyfifties a little bit older and the three of them seem to have managed to stay out of prison and therapy. People have children when they have children and do what is right for them. It's hard enough being a parent without this sort of shite.

"I wonder how all the potential baby mothers this idiot knew and sized up as mating material in his younger days actually sized him up first and dismissed him out of hand before he ever even got around to thinking about how suitable they might be as the future incubators of his progeny."

Mathanxiety, did you catch that he was a single man in his forties when he was sizing up these twenty-somethings?

Sounds like sour grapes to me. Sounds like the classic man who put off childrearing till his forties, expecting to find a 25 year old who was willing to come to the party (because MEN don't have fertility issues) and then was a bit taken aback to find that it doesn't work that way.

And bonus points to "maybe when the younger women are older they'll realise that their work isn't that important unlike mens work".

Totally agree with Quattro about Winnie, though. The horrible Disney Winnie has nothing to do with the wonderful AA Milne version.

What does the Winnie the Poo Pooh bit have to do with anything, it's totally at odds with the rest of the article.

Do you think that blaming his mother's flaws on her age makes him feel better about the way she treated him growing up? Does he think by avoiding that situation he will avoid turning into his mother?

Another reason not to read The Times.

I don't get why he is allowed to have a childminder, but Miss One Two and Three they 'met' in the park is derided for having 'help'.

Is it a case of, 'sorry love. You really ought to have waited until you were 40 to employ someone else to look after your kids?'

Really, what is his point? Perchance old age has fuddled his brain.

So I take it you are ALL going to be coughing up for a daily/weekly subscription when the Times goes behind its paywall. Because the columnists are just sooooooo good!

Had my boys when was late thirties and know that I would have made a terrible mother in my twenties-early thirties; had too much ambition and was realising it 'feverishly', my jet-setting-party-lifestyle would have suffered tremendously and that of course was a no-no.
Now I'm absolutely devoted to my children, sooooo much more relaxed and enjoying every moment with them.
Each their own but I agree with the article to be honest...

I had mine in my early- mid-thirties.

I actually really wish that I'd met my husband about five years earlier so that we'd have been that little bit younger and more energetic. A friend had her first at 22. She's now 'finished' and is still only 46, with lots of energy for her career and her leisure time.

@ All of you having a pop at women in their 40's who start having children.

Exactly how would you feel if I started a thread having a pop at women under the age of 35 who have children? Have issue with the article but leave us alone unless turn about is fair play.

BitSickOfThisThreadAndSomeOfThePosterTiggaxx

I think he is just insecure-a lot of people have to justify their own choice by making out that it is better. If he reads it again in 12 yrs time he will probably cringe.
There are some good, sensible replies on the letters page today.
It always makes me smile that people have a choice about the age at which they have them, they may feel right at 22yrs but not meet the right person until they are 42yrs.
Age has nothing to do with being a 'good' parent. Some people make wonderful parents at 18yrs, some don't and most are somewhere in between. You can say that at any age.

What are you talking about dawntigga? I haven't seen a single post having a pop at women in their 40s.

Although to be fair to Andrew Billen, at least his article didn't mention mumsnet. He could so easily have gone down that line....

"over on smug boden clad parenting website mumsnet, I quote posters out of context to prove my point, so that I don't have to. 'I wish I had time to find DS a Winnie the Poo buggy' posts JaydenCaydenHAyedensmummy, 'but at 16 and with a full time job, I just don't have time to be a proper mummy to my babies'

'Don't worry about buggies,' counters FabMum40yrsandFeral, 'Your LOs have feet. Let them walk!"

Fair play, Mr B.

Rollmops - the thing is, while you know that you would not have been as good a mother when you were younger, could you honestly say that that would be the case for every woman out there? The reason we're all so... peeved at this mumbo-jumbo is it's judgemental stance by which he condemns others for not making the same choices as him (and implies that women had better wait to have children because once they do their careers and aspirations are no longer as impotant).

None of us are having a go at any type of mother - we're just stunned that someone could be so condemning of people of a different age and gender to himself on the basis of how he lives his life and no other evidence. Of course there are advantages to having children later in life! Believe me, I know what I've given up by having mine early. But it is very insulting how he seems to be flatly denying that people in their twenties and thirties can be capable parents - to the point where he starts slagging off his own deceased mother, who appeared to do nothing worse than care about her son.

YANBU - the cataclysmic change that occurs in oneself when they become a parent is down to becoming a parent, it's not something that organically happens when you hit 40 and his children occurred simultaneously because he has some kind of superior insight. Jesus wept.

I think he's missing the point that by the time us early-30-somethings are 'old enough' to breed, we won't be able to afford to take 1, 2 or 3 years out of work because we'll have spent the last 5 years paying ridiculous mortgages, taking pay cuts and bailing out big business. Grrr!

stupid cunt

Dawn, have scanned, might have missed specific posts, but I'm thinking there's a lot of p!!! taking (eg Rollmops at 8.35 is 'avin a larf I think)

... Rollmops will correct me if I'm wrong

It seemed to me he was concluding that he and his wife made better parents in their forties than they could have been in their twenties and that many so-called 'older' parents concur.... Most of my friends are having children in late thirties early forties and strongly agree with this sentiment. Why are so many here taking every printed word in every newspaper etc so personally one wonders? It's quite amusing really. Writers write from experience and based on their observations; it's a rather subjective area by nature.

merrylgs vy funny

merrylgs vy funny

Yes, cat in the heat, do stand corrected.
I will not start a Primark handbag fight by mentioning all the underage mummies on extensive benefits who can barely keep track of the subsequent daddies etc. That's another thread altogether.....
Feel free to howl profanities.

Love your writing style by the way, it's v funny:

" had too much ambition and was realising it 'feverishly', my jet-setting-party-lifestyle would have suffered tremendously and that of course was a no-no"

"I will not start a Primark handbag fight by mentioning all the underage mummies on extensive benefits who can barely keep track of the subsequent daddies etc"

"Feel free to howl profanities"

Somehow so different and yet so familiar..

Rollmops, wow could you be any more of a judgemental bitch?