To not want fag butts all over my driveway

[TheChicOfIt]

We have newish neighbours (moved in about 6 months ago) - we have chatted to them a few times and always say hello etc - they seem very nice.

However, DH has noticed that the man always smokes his cigarettes outside the front door and then just "flings" them away. The wind blows them over onto our driveway which is adjacent to their front garden. I looked this morning and there is literally a long line of them all along the edge of their garden and a few on our driveway.

Also, last night, we had all the windows open due to the heat, and DH heard him having a full blown argument with an employee or colleague of his, in which he swore repeatedly using f*k and c*t.

Now we are no prudes, and DH sometimes uses such language if he is very angry, but never in earshot of anyone, especially children.

Luckily our DS was fast asleep, but they have kids themselves and we were just a bit .

DH is getting more and more annoyed with him, but I have told him not to stir anything up as we have to live right next door to them.

Would you say anything?

By the way, to clarify, he was having the argument at the top of his voice and was out in the back garden - we weren't sat with a glass against the wall or anything !

I would sweep up the cigarette ends very obviously when he is next out there smoking and hope that he gets the point.

Not at all U. I am a huge smoker, I love smoking and smoke as often as possible, BUT, I wouldn't flick my dog ends over someone elses property. Can you put an ashtray near to where he sits if the obvious sweeping fails?

If they are not out he ought to check where they are going anyway as that is (mildly) dangerous. If he put them out on his side and then they blew over that would be less of an issue I think though still untidy. Perhaps go with scurryfunge's plan.

As for the swearing. Continuous swearing grates on me a bit, but this is how our society is now so there's nothing you can reasonably do or say about that. I encounter it more on MN than I do with family and friends as it goes. I swear, but generally for a reason, like banging my head on a cupboard or opening an electric bill

at the ashtray!

I used to smoke myself, but I would always use an ashtray outside in the back garden, or stub it out and then put it in the bin.

We just can't understand the logic of it - if you were relatively new to the neighbourhood, would you not want to try to be liked by your neighbours?

Perhaps he doesn't realise what he is doing ...

Why not just ask him to put his dog ends in an ashtray? There's not much point playing games with sweeping, if I were him Id either bot notice or be pissed off that you couldn't be bothered to talk to me.

Collect all the butts and throw them in the middle of his garden.

It's not that we can't be bothered to talk to him - it's just a bit of an awkward subject to bring up especially as we hardly know the guy!

I agree that it is awkward. You don't want to antagonise him and cause bad feeling which could lead to further problems. I think you either need to have a quiet and carefully thought out word with him about the fag ends......maybe try to get to know him a bit better first by coincidentally being in your garden when he's out there etc... or just sweep them up yourself and rage silently whilst you do it

As for the swearing, I don't see that there's much you can do about it tbh. I think with some people, swearing is so ingrained that they don't even realise they're doing it.

Nextdoor's teenage boy used to flick his cigarette butts over our fence on purpose. Eventually I got cross enough to lurk in the kitchen in the dark when I knew he was smoking out there, so I could catch him in the act (when I saw the glowing cigarette end come flying over), and give him a few of my thoughts on the matter.

It did stop him for a while, but the problem only really stopped when he went away to university.

Thanks for the replies.

To be honest the swearing thing doesn't bother me as much as it does DH, and I don't think it would be wise to confront him with "we were eavesdropping on your conversation the other night....!

As for the fag butts, we'll see how it goes - it's not going to be me that speaks to him anyway!

I guess I just can't comprehend why someone would want them all over their own garden?

Wait outside with a tennis racquet and lob them back.