to put ds in nursery

[WitchyWooWoo]

im a sahm, there is no reason for me to -need- to put ds in nursery. However i was considering putting him in for 1 day a week, so he can socialise and i can get a day to really get stuck into housework etc.

part of me thinks this is a great idea, ds will get to play in a safe structured environment, learn and hopefully have fun while i can give the toilet and other places the chemically attention they really need.

he's 21 months old. apart from a toddler group once a week (hes been twice) he's not had any interaction with little uns..

i really don't know if i am bu or not. what to do, what to do.

Am a SAH mum of three. Before children I was a Nursery Officer in a local Authority child care setting.(Pre-school nursery or in England Reception Class)
Just a bit of food for thought - In my experience most of the staff in the private nurseries were the younger more in-experienced nursery nurses or those who failed to become employed by the local authority/school nurseries (Which were much better paid so therefore attracted the more experienced/better qualified candidates)

I'm not trying to be disrespectful to the employees in the private sector but there is no way that I would have accepted a job paying such a low hourly rate.

Also, the girls I went to college with who are now working in private nurseries are not who I would choose to leave my children with.

Have to laugh when parents talk about 'socialising' their babies - What a piece of nonsense. Babies and very young children 'need' to spend real time with an adult who actually does loves them so that trust and security can be established. There is plenty of time for 'socialising' once the child is at an age where they can understand that Mummy or Daddy is actually coming back for them. And I'm sorry but at 7 months old or whatever - I don't think their baby is really getting that or indeed "loving it!"

I realise that I am lucky to have a shift working husband and a family close by who can help with childcare should I need it and i am not some Martyr of a mother who never wants to be apart from her children for a second - far from it. In my opinion using 'private' nursery childcare to allow yourself housework time is a bit of a cop out. Use the money for a cleaner and get out there with your child and socialise together.

dragged agree with you 100% re babies, but at approaching three and a half, I feel that my toddler actually would benefit from some group time away from me.... I would actually prefer him to be only doing 3 mornings, rather than 3 full days, but with new baby also and NO family nearby, plus DH working very long hours, I feel I need the time to 'only' have one child to look after and not be insane...

Plus if he hates it, we can always scale it down to mornings only - we'll see!

Dragged I unlike you have no family nearby - and will have to consider nursery when I return to work.

I spent a great deal of time researching local nurseries and have to agree with you on the standard of staff - the LA nursery has excellent staff and at the end of the day that is what you need. It was only when I found the staff that I did that I considered putting my child into nursery.

For the OP, in our area there are play sessions where you can leave your DC run by qualified helpers 3-4 days a week for 2.5 hours which are around £8. They accept over 2s.

A lot of the SAHMs I know use this particularly those with 2nd DCs. The lady that runs it is a qualified CM with her own children.

This seems to me to be a good compromise between having a bit of time for yourself and putting child in nursery.

I'm all for people having a bit of time to themselves and I can understand that it must be difficult to be at home all the time with an under 3, but it seems a bit much to put them in nursery for a full day, particularly when most of the DCs there will be in for at least 3 days a week so will have formed their own attachments and rather unsettling for your DC to be there 1 day a week.

Or another alternative, are there any CMs nearby, they may be flexible about sessions as its only another year until your DC is old enough to go to preschool which will give you 2.5 hrs per day.

My DD is 2.5 and attends pre-school for 2 x 2.5 hours a week and she loves it.

If you don't need to send a small child to daycare I think that a morning or afternoon session is enough.

I love the suggestion of using the money for a cleaner and socialising your child yourself.

Was wondering why he has only been to playgroup twice. If socialising really is a priority for you and him perhaps you could join another playgroup as well.

Before DD started pre-school she went to a music group which is structured and she does socialise, she went to playgroup and an nct weekly group. So no nursery but a very social little girl.

Look out for free sessions at the library, many have storytime or music sessions and for Parent & Toddler sessions at the swimming baths, or just take him to the park with a friend.

You don't have to put him in nursery, the best place for him is with you.

14hourstillbedtime - Was actually referring to babies and toddlers in my post. Of course at 3 1/2 your child should be spending some time in nursery or playgroup to have fun with his /her peers.

It just doesn't sit right with me when I read posts from parents talking about putting babies in nursery for much deserved 'me' time. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Babies usually go to bed early. Have your 'me' time in the evening or at weekends when your partner or family can help out.

Completely agree with other posters who talk about housework always being there. I mean its not like once its done its done is it? An hour later and you're back to square one again most of the time when you live with small children.

Just my opinion though. Everyone else entitled to theirs.