To think I don't want DP's Staffie near my newborn?!

[Lavenderboo]

I'm due DS start of next month with first baby. But me and DP cannot agree about the dog...his dog (a substitue child from his previous relationship).

The dog is usually fine and obedient, if not a little on the sad-sack, sulky depressive side but generally lives the life of a queen. (Its only recently that she hasn't had the run of the house when I had to put my foot down about her sleeping on our bed.)

Recently the dog raised her heckels at freind's dd - though admittedly the child made a bee-line straight for her, tried to play horsey with her, and squeel like a demon in her face.

DP wants to 'introduce' dog and newborn to each other by letting dog sniff and lick newborns ears and face and goodness only knows what else! I'm absolutly horrified and have not been able to engage in sensible, rational convo or find solution with DP about this because 1. I'm hugly hormonal and will burst into tears and 2. He is v defensive and sensitve about the child-substitue dog!

Any advice out there? I've looked on other threads but they tend to talk about toddlers not newborns.Is he an idiot or am I hormonally-over sensitive?

I can't remember where exactly I read it, but
www.dogclub.co.uk/advice/babyanddog.php
under section 3 it says crying and arm waving can elicit predatory behaviour.

I have never heard that before. My Jack Rusell, who was a great ratter, did not react at all to either of my dds crying.

She was a very submissive dog though. I'll never find another like her. She was utterly bomb proof, which is unusual for a JRT.

Naturally not all dogs will but it can happen.
I don't believe for a second that my cavalier or your Jack Russell would do it, but it can happen.
DPs mum has a JRT and I won't be letting that little runt near our girl (not because she's aggressive, which she is a bit, but simply because she's horrible and awfully trained)

OOHH but my dog loves children...what with, gravy?

About 200 years ago in the past, Staffies used to be called 'the nanny dog' as they were so reliable around children, so much so that some parents used to let their dogs sleep in their baby's cribs (and these were the very same dogs who later in the day would be taken to illegal ratting and dog fighting pits).

As a breed, bred and reared by competent, caring breeders/owners, Staffies are fantastic with children. Their fighting heritage makes them far more a risk with other dogs, rather than people, but even this need not be a problem with adequate training.

With the exception of a few breeds (now illegal in this country), there is no such thing as a naturally aggressive dog or even breed. It is all to do with good breeding and good socialising and training. Even Rottweilers can be ridiculously soft in the right hands. The trouble is that some breeds attract more than their fair share of idiots, who encourage aggression and bad behaviour in their dog.

Unfortunately, overindulging your dog tends to have the same effect though it is often done with the best of intentions. Treating a dog as a child substitute is a pretty sure-fire way to have problems as the dog sees itself as higher in the human pack than its owners!

If you and your DP are prepared to thoroughly retrain this dog and learn about dog behaviour there is no reason at all why this Staffie cannot be a great family pet, but it rather sounds like you may have your work cut out to reach a compromise. Hope you get there.

op problems will arise imo not with the dog, but your attitude towards the dog,then your dp attitude towards you.I think I would be more concerned about this aspect tbh.

"the dog has always been friendly around people and was a placid family pet."

• a quote about a dog (staffie) that killed a baby.

good training will help, but no dog is ever 100% reliable - they may be placed for years and can get violent completely unpredictably - could be caused by the dog being ill.
(obviously the same can happen with people too)

maybe after the baby's born he will realise that the dog really isn't that important after all. but certainly wouldn't really want a 'licking' session with a newborn!

op I think your main underlying bearbug is that the staffie is a substitute baby from a previous relationship.I think you are miffed because of this, and you will be glad to get rid of the poor dog,I would be careful of this as it will be you and your pfb who will undoubtedly end up binned in the end.

Really darkandstormy? REALLY? You're basically saying that the OP, (who hasn't once returned to this thread incidentally) is being unreasonable for not wanting the dog to be licking her newborn baby, and that makes her a PFBer?

I wouldn't want a HUMAN licking my newborn baby FFS.

Oh and if her DH "binned" her and their baby over a dog, then...actually words fail me. Words actually fail me.

Shirley Knot I did state earlier on that it would not be wise to let the dog lick a newborn.However,they can be introduced gently,also as others have said let the dog sniff an item of clothing with the babies smell on it.We did this with both my dc, we never ever had a problem.As I said though, the problem is with her resenting the dog in the first place,she will make her dp resent her eventually.Sounds like he loves his dog, and there is nothing wrong with that,lots of people have new born babies and dogs without any problems.

uh, ok. I was reacting to your inference that the OP was being PFBer and the, faintly disturbing, assertion that should the DH "bin" her and her child in favour of the dog, that that would be ok in some way.

DAS last post (21.36) speaks much sense. I doubt if the dog licking the babe will harm him but it's not hygenic and not to be recommended as a way of introducing the two.

There is however no reason why a careful, supervised introduction and subsequent careful and responsible parenting/dog owning cannot result in a perfectly harmonious relationship between dog and child.

Sounds like the OP has been freaked out by the dog's response to the friend's child - yet imho I couldn't blame the dog for her reaction, going on the OP's description of events. I'm sure that the OP wouldn't let her child harass a dog like this though as she clearly sees that this could cause problems.

Shirley knot I am just trying to give her a wake up call to what could happen.That is all.

Good for you.

just do not want a poor dog ousted for no fault of her own

and I'd rather not see a "poor woman and child" ousted because of a partner who cannot understand NORMAL concerns for a newborn baby.

We have a little staffie (girl) aged 12 who was present in our lives long before the DC's (4+2). DH introduced the smell of each baby, in the form of a worn babygro before we came home and there was no problem when the baby came home. The dog laid down beside the baby and came to fetch me when she/he cried. I have no problem with her licking them. They love her and she loves them but I am not silly enough to leave them alone as one can NEVER be 100% sure, even though I've had that dog since she was 6 weeks old and she's never bitten so much as a mosquito. Just in case any of you are wondering, DH and I are both Masters graduates so not your typical staffie owners. They are fabulous family dogs - please give them a chance if you are lucky enough to have the opportunity!!

A wake up call ..... what are you smoking ... hopefully the OP has chosen somebody to have a child with who will see her and the baby as being more important than the dog if not there's more issues in that house than any of us can help with and the dog probably wants to leave too.

Goodness Mamatomany, your fecundity has not helped you emotional maturity or your grammar, has it? What are YOU smoking...Green Tea??

fulltimeworkingmum, doubtless you will not be surprised to know that you're not in the minority, even if others might. Granted, perhaps most SBT owners don't have Masters but the majority are nonetheless loving owners of delightful dogs. I just wish the population of this country could see beyond the tabloid headlines.

I met a SBT x Mastiff outside the supermarket today, a hugely powerfully built chap. Whilst other shoppers were giving him a very wide berth as he looked imploringly at them I stopped to say hello. Within minutes I was on my knees being licked into submission by this beautiful dog.

Oh yes, and he was wearing a studded collar.

I've seen a great number of SBTs which have been abandoned in pounds and which would, were it not for rescue, have left the pound in a black bin liner within 7 days or less of walking in. So many of these have been rehomed to nice, responsible, caring people such as yourself and have proven themselves to be exceptional pets. I don't know whether to sob or rant and rail when I hear people branding them and their owners as dangerous and of a certain type.

Licking is not just because of hygiene...if you allow the doguat it is a toy!

You must allow the dog to sniff some clothes that the baby has worn, again...SNIFF, not lick/nuzzle/play with/sleep with.

When the dog meets the baby, the dogs master (so your dp) must not be holding the baby, dog should be on the lead & allowed to smell, not lick/nuzzle/play with the baby!

This is what I was given by our vet. We used this with our Border Collie & he is fantastic around our now almost 2yr old. No issues with him at all.

BABY& COMES* HOME

1. When you bring baby home, it is a good idea for a neutral person to carry the baby into the house while you carry out your normal "dog greeting routine." Keep your greetings brief and calm.
2. After you have greeted the dog it is a good idea to put your dog's leash on for the first few encounters; that way you will have the physical control needed to prevent any inappropriate behaviour. It is important to introduce the dog to the baby. This makes it clear to the dog that the baby is a new member of the "pack". Put the baby in your lap and let the dog sniff the baby. Keep a very watchful eye on the dog; it is not okay for the dog to muzzle, nudge or paw at the baby. Pair these exercises with very positive reinforcement. Use a very special food treat that the dog normally doesn't get. The dog will learn that the presence of the baby brings good things. If the dog does something inappropriate, calmly and WITHOUT emotion, put the dog up and try again later. Remember to positively reinforce your dog for all appropriate behaviour!! The dog may start to bark at the baby. If this occurs, distract the dog and engage it in another reinforce able behaviour. If that doesn't work then immediately put the dog up. He/she will learn that barking cause him to go away, and being quiet causes him to get "cookies" he/she will make the right choice. Be PATIENT and PERSISTENT!
3. When your dog is behaving acceptably toward the baby you will need to positively reinforce him/her. Your reinforcement should occur whenever your dog is being good, i.e., quietly lying down, sitting or engaging in any behavior you deem acceptable. Reinforcement should be something the dog really loves. NOTE: Enthusiastic, energetic and physical PRAISE may excite your dog, causing it to become "hyper" or break the last command you gave it.
4. When the baby comes home, give the dog a treat or new toy and keep to the dog's normal routine as much as possible. This will help your dog to associate the baby's presence with positive things.

DON'TS

1. Do not exclude your dog; if you have a house dog do not throw it outside once baby arrives. Conversely, if you have an outside dog make sure he/she has plenty of exposure to the baby. It is vital your dog and baby have the chance to bond and develop a relationship.
2. Do not ignore your dog during routine interaction with the baby. For example: If you are bathing the baby and your dog follows you or comes in a little later, do not chase him/her away. If you are feeding the baby allow the dog to sit next to you and as you feed (or wash) the baby talk to the dog, let him/her know what a GOOD DOG he/she is. As long as the dog is behaving let him/her be a part of the activity. If the dog misbehaves then make the necessary correction and continue on. Remember to be PATIENT and CONSISTENT.
3. Do not allow your dog to sleep/lay under the crib or cradle. A dog can upset a crib or cradle or knock down the side rails. As a general rule, the baby's toys and equipment should be off limits to your dog. Give a clear signals and set clear boundaries.
4. DO NOT EVER LEAVE YOUR BABY AND DOG ALONE FOR ANY AMOUNT OF TIME NO MATTER HOW STABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY YOU FEEL YOUR DOG IS!! Your dog is still a dog, an animal. ALWAYS put safety first and monitor EVERY interaction your dog and child have. Your presence will remind the dog that you are in charge and insure a calm interaction between the two.

THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR

1. POSSESSIVENESS - This is the dog claiming the baby as its own and doing what it feels is necessary to protect it. This can also happen if the dog feels threatened or he feels the "Pack" is threatened by the new intruder, the baby. This will need to be corrected IMMEDIATELY. Seek professional help if this occurs.
2. MARKING - This is your dog urinating (marking) on things. The dog could be remarking it's territory over the new scent of the baby. It is the dogs way of telling the baby (the new "pack" member) that this is his turf. Keep things you don't want peed on up. And if you catch the dog beginning to mark something, startle him/her by making a loud noise and escorting him/her outside when he/she stops.
3. DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR - Could result from a lack of attention, anxiety or jealousy. Do more obedience work and give your pooch some additional exercise.
4. If you have multiple dogs in the your home, brining a new baby into the environment can upset the pack dynamic among the dogs. It is important that you maintain the established hierarchy. Keep the existing routine and feeding schedules as much as possible. Greet the "top-dog" first, the middle dog second, etc. Let the top-dog out/in first, etc. This will go a long way to keeping the dynamic stable

FINAL REMINDER
You need to show your dog what is and isn't acceptable behaviour. You must take care of inappropriate behaviour immediately. You DO NOT need to STRIKE or SHOUT at your dog. You want to make ALL the interactions between your baby and dog a POSITIVE EXPERIENCE. You also need to reinforce your dog and let it know when he/she is doing what you want. THIS ALL MAY TAKE TIME! BE CONSISTENT AND PATIENT DURING THE WHOLE PROCESS. YOUR DOG WILL ADJUST TO THE NEW SITUATION.

.if you allow the dog will think that it is a toy!

Fantastic advice differentnameforthis.

i couldn't live in the same house with a staffie never mind expose my baby to one.

not worth the risk.