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Original poster

To think I don't want DP's Staffie near my newborn?!

121 replies

Lavenderboo · 03/06/2010 11:33

I'm due DS start of next month with first baby. But me and DP cannot agree about the dog...his dog (a substitue child from his previous relationship).

The dog is usually fine and obedient, if not a little on the sad-sack, sulky depressive side but generally lives the life of a queen. (Its only recently that she hasn't had the run of the house when I had to put my foot down about her sleeping on our bed.)

Recently the dog raised her heckels at freind's dd - though admittedly the child made a bee-line straight for her, tried to play horsey with her, and squeel like a demon in her face.

DP wants to 'introduce' dog and newborn to each other by letting dog sniff and lick newborns ears and face and goodness only knows what else! I'm absolutly horrified and have not been able to engage in sensible, rational convo or find solution with DP about this because 1. I'm hugly hormonal and will burst into tears and 2. He is v defensive and sensitve about the child-substitue dog!

Any advice out there? I've looked on other threads but they tend to talk about toddlers not newborns.Is he an idiot or am I hormonally-over sensitive?

OP posts:
NormalityBites · 03/06/2010 13:24

I am weird then. I thought the best way to introduce the dog to the new baby was to let the dog see you give birth - certainly worked for us. He didn't lick the baby's face btw just her leg - we do discourage licking insofar as is possible, but the occasional ick gets through. They generally used each other as cushions for the first few months and became top mates when the baby got mobile. Now the dog gets dressed up in outfits and decorated, and has to be the postman/shop lady/fairy/horse or whatever the game is several times a day.

If it's not your dog and you don't trust it that is different but I am astonished at those who wouldn't let their baby near their own much loved and trusted pets.

NormalityBites · 03/06/2010 14:00

btw I'm not actually suggesting you do that, just realised it looks a bit weird the way I have written it. Just that it worked for us wrt dog introduction to baby!

Charlieknows · 03/06/2010 14:48

I don't think you're being completely unreasonable at all. First of all I think it's unreasonable to treat a dog as a substitute child when there is going to be a real child in the picture soon - you're definately going to have problems if you let that continue. I think you were quite right in insisting the dog not sleep on the bed and the thought of any dog licking a newborns face sends shivers down my spine.

Any dog (regardless of breed) needs to know it's at the bottom rung of the ladder in the household and the thing that worried me most about your OP was that the dog raised hackles to another child. Kids are going to be kids and they have to feel free to be that way (obviously you teach them not to hurt any animal), without the animal snarling or worse. One of our friends has 2 staffies and I have never met 2 better behaved dogs around anyone. My DS (20m) regularly plays with them and accidentally pokes them in the eyes or pulls their ears and at one point actually stuck his fingers in one of the dogs mouths and all they ever do is lie on their backs and want a cuddle.

we're getting our own Staffie pup soon and I'll be introducing my son to it properly and vice versa and so fully expect things to go really well.

Honestly, have a chat with DP and try not to get emotional about it (I know it's tough when you're at your wits end already). Explain you want to set up ground rules now and start retraining the dog from now until the baby's born. If possible, make yourself the new 'alpha' in the dogs eyes so it knows you set the ground rules when it comes to the house.

Good luck

allbie · 03/06/2010 15:19

What a risk to take...one bad turn and that is that...maimed for life, if still alive. And to let it lick first...mmmm, a tantilizing appetizer. Who has priority here? Surely the newborn not DP or the dog!

ShinyAndNew · 03/06/2010 15:26

Dogs generally don't view babies as food

Speak to a trainer about how to prepare the dog for the arrival of a baby. There is no need to over react and re-home the dog, without at least speaking to a professional first.

To be fair I'd raise my hackles if an unknown child came bounding up to me trying to ride on my back and squealing in my face, but I don't make a habit of going around and devouring infants.

BritFish · 03/06/2010 15:29

yeah, this may come a surprise, but dogs dont look at kids and think about ways to maim and devour them...

loopylou6 · 03/06/2010 15:30

I have my hardhat on coz I think Im gonna need it BUT, arnt Staffies quite known to attack children?

I would never have that breed of dog after everything Ive read about them.

bubbles4 · 03/06/2010 15:35

loopylou6
Could you please take a minute to readthis,it might set the record straight about staffies.

However,I would not let any dog near a newborn,never mind lick it.

wannaBe · 03/06/2010 15:38

is your dp's name steve?

waitingimpatiently · 03/06/2010 15:45

Actually the cry of a baby can provoke some dogs to attack as this is the noise dying prey would make in the wild.
Not trying to scare anyone but you've got to be careful with any dog. Our cavalier has never snarled or growled or any other aggressive act to anyone but I for one will make sure I'm keeping an eye on her around our daughter when she is here.

wannaBe · 03/06/2010 15:48

op is first time poster, talking about staffies and babies, bit contentious, would be money on there being a steve in the equasion.

loopylou6 · 03/06/2010 15:50

Have read your link bubbles, but you cant deny that 99% of the attacks on children have been carried out by a staffie.

I understand that this may be the result of incorrect teaching from theowner but still...

"There have been many reported cases of Staffies attacking children"

This is a quote from the link you posted for me.

I have nothing against dogs, infact I have a German Shepherd myself, but like I said before Ive read many storys about staffies and even witnessed a staffy brutally attack another dog for no reason at all.

JennyPiccolo · 03/06/2010 15:57

i dont think i'd let the cat near my baby, never mind a staffie. You could be opening up a world of phobias, and the rest.

wannaBe · 03/06/2010 15:57

99% of attacks on children are carried out by a staffy? Where on earth did you get that statistic from?

Actually statistically more people are attacked by golden retrievers in this country than by any other breed, but it has little bearing on the temperament of the dog and has more to do with the number of retrievers vs other breeds such as staffies/rottweilers etc.

We don't hear about the instances when children are bitten by other breeds because the damage is not so great. More children will be killed by staffies or rottweilers than other breeds but this is because of the sheer power of the dogs as opposed to the general temperament of the breed.

Mingg · 03/06/2010 15:58

"99% of the attacks on children have been carried out by a staffie"

Really? How do you know this?

loopylou6 · 03/06/2010 16:01

Ok I'll rephrase that. 99% of what Ive heard/read about child attacks have been by a staffie.

Ya know it makes me really when people pick a hole in every little mistake people make with their typing.

sparechange · 03/06/2010 16:03

loopylou6,
sorry, but I really have to take exception with what you are trying to imply
Yes, there have been many cases of staffies attacking children, but that is far more indicative of the trend for irresponsible people owning staffies in recent years
If those exact same people had owned labradors instead, there would be many reported cases of labradors attacking children.

These owners favour staffies which have been purposely bred to encourage aggressive traits and are then under socialised as puppies and not trained. These dogs have nothing at all in common with a family pet from a responsible breeder and brought up in the home.

The worst ever dog attack on a child I have witnessed was a wiemeraner, who left a child with huge scars on his face and arms, but I'm not going to try and use one anecdote to condemn a whole breed and you would probably be wise to do the same...

Mingg · 03/06/2010 16:03

That wasn't a little mistake though was it? Huge difference between 99% of the attacks on children have been carried out by a staffie and 99% of what Ive heard/read about child attacks have been by a staffie , would you not say?

BritFish · 03/06/2010 16:05

yeah loopylou, i think you'll find thats wrong.

Wannabe, i didnt know that about Golden Retrievers, how interesting, because a lot of families get Golden Retrievers as their first family dog!

wannaBe · 03/06/2010 16:05

nobody was picking holes in your typing, you wrote "you cant deny that 99% of the attacks on children have been carried out by a staffie." we're not psychic, we can't possibly know or even guess that you are talking about attacks that you personally had heard about.

Given there have only been about four or five serious attacks on children in the past few years resulting in death it's not impossible that the majority could have been by a specific breed. Although thinking about it, Elly lawrence was killed by a pitbul (different breed), there was a baby killed by two rottweilers and another by a rottweiler, the most recent one was a pitbul (again family arrested) and only one that I can think of that involved a staffy but also a jack russel.

So no, I would dispute that it was anywhere near 99% or even 50%.

loopylou6 · 03/06/2010 16:08

Totally take on board what you sparechange.

loopylou6 · 03/06/2010 16:10

What you say

ShinyAndNew · 03/06/2010 16:13

Usually the ones in the paper are cited as being by a 'bull terrier type' or 'staffy type' no?

Which could mean anything.

Waitingimpatiently - Really? Have you any evidence of this?

mamatomany · 03/06/2010 16:15

A German shepherd ripped my cousins face off as a child, completely unprovoked back in the 70's, the owner shot it himself.
It would worry me more that your DP almost seems to see the dog as the baby's equal because thats where the trouble starts. The dog will be utterly confused.

BritFish · 03/06/2010 16:15

I've got a Jack Russel, moody bugger he was when he was younger. very quick dogs, and i can see why some of them when not handled or trained in the right way could be dangerous.
He bit a work colleage of DH's who was blackmailing the boss for over a million, it was found out a few weeks after [tries not to be proud]
now however he's an old softy, im going to miss him like hell when he goes, as are the kids.

anyway, back to it. id like to know what the percentage of dogs is in this country that could be classified as vicious, but i suppose youd have to assess each dog individually....bet its bloody low though. you never hear about the family guard dogs of boyhood pets [unless someone really old ahs died and left the dog behind, human interest story etc etc]