To think that people aren't being unreasonable?

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

They just have a different POV!! They aren't 'unreasonable', they just don't agree with you!

Why is it that we feel someone is unreasonable if they don't see things our way?

So many IABUs are just "I think X, she thinks Y, she's unreasonable, right?"

Well, no. She's not. And neither are you. You just see things differently. It's not a question (often!) of who is right and who is wrong. It's not you lose I win. It's 2 equally valid perspectives.

And with that, I declare AIBU closed

No, sorry, you're wrong.

It's all very postmodern and everything, but you can't claim that every viewpoint is equally valid and there's no intrinsic merit to one over another, otherwise we're deep into moral relativism and then where will we be? Hanging out in cafes with stupid berets on, that's where.

Some people really are unreasonable though. Society has an agreement to act in certain ways and some people step outside of that. We are society, (MN) and so we judge. So YABU.

un·rea·son·a·ble   [uhn-ree-zuh-nuh-buhl, -reez-nuh-] Show IPA

?adjective

1. not reasonable or rational; acting at variance with or contrary to reason; not guided by reason or sound judgment; irrational: an unreasonable person.

Sometimes people are being plain irrational and it's not just a difference of points of view (e.g. AIBU to insist everyone dresses in hot pink for my wedding?)

Yes, I know there are times when someone is clearly being unreasonable, but come on, change your minds and make me nbu most aibus are as my OP. c'mon, ianbu, c'mon...

Oh, this is one of those AIBU where the OP gets all defensive and claims she was totally BR even when we all say not.

Excellent, I love those. Pass the Pernod.

oh yes. I am Right.

nah, am perfectly happy to be declared unreasonable cos it's just your different pov.

Now. gimmee the pernod.

I'm getting out the Pimms looking at the sun out there. Hate Pernod, your definitely unreasonable there. Now where is there any mint...bugger only mint sauce.

I will arrive each morning looking windswept and interesting and sit at a corner table with an air of elusiveness.

I shall drink black coffee, smoke a small clay pipe and write poetry about the unreasonable in the world.

I do know what you mean Hecate, some of the AIBU threads are poor quality in terms of levels of unreasonableness.

hec you have made me snort

You need this, Hecate:

Then you can be totally right.

God this pregnancy is making me post random weirdness.

You'll only have this for the next few weeks guys, I apologise in advance for any future surreal and irrelevant posts.

gibbon, you need this

I frantically sucked the badger's raging custard.

Oh Hecate, that site is genius and so very me at the mo

Hijack Hecate, how did your weight loss go?And are you still with your DH....I often think about you.

Sorry if it's not you.

oi

stop sucking my custard
[flaps ineffectually at Hec]

What about if I post an AIBU post and get all riled up and snotty with the posters that disagree with me and then halfway through I change my mind and agree with them.

Would it be AIBU to then argue with the posters who agreed with me in the first place?

posie - going fine. Still on the way to 'normal', I have lost one hefty person and have another hefty person to lose

Talking of which... am still with him. Surprisingly, things are looking up. nudge nudge wink wink

MrsB

lamplighter erm yes. er no. erm They impulsively rode the seahorse's radioactive snookertable.

I hope that answers your question.

no. no no no. you get the thread pulled and then start a thread saying you are leaving MN. Then lots of people who didn't see your tantrum on the other thread come on and beg you to stay, saying things like who's upset you, let's kick their arse, you're fandabbydozey and beg you to tell them what was said. You then 'reluctantly' tell them the horrible things that were said, without saying what you said and you don't want to mention names but somehow you do anyway and then someone comes on who saw the thread in question and they quote something you said and you accuse them of being a bitch / a quinche / a liar / misunderstanding you and it's handbags at dawn.

Hecate, have you been unreasonably away?
Have I missed something? Hope you are ok!

no, am fine just chatting. was originally thinking about the nature of 'being unreasonable' and how it is often just the belief that we are right (reasonable) and someone who doesn't see things our way is wrong (unreasonable), rather than objectively reasonable / unreasonable.

And the last post was just a pissabout with the poster above.

groan

are you feeling ill?

Nice to hear! And well done, I have a hefty person to lose to, he's call Mr Parker!

I am only unreasonable when I am wrong- which isn't very often. Any Pimms still floating about? Will make do with mint sauce