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Original poster

to not 'release wind' in front of my DP?

172 replies

KodakTheBat · 01/06/2010 16:33

We've been together 3 years. I've never done it. During a conversation with the girls last night, in their words I'm a 'bloody freak' . I've also told him I don't poo

I'm not weird am I? Surely I'm not the only one who doesn't...?

OP posts:
Morloth · 01/06/2010 18:46

lol

ShowOfHands · 01/06/2010 18:55

I actually don't understand the phrase 'toilet humour'. It's an oxymoron. I would never and have never done that in front of dh and he wouldn't do it in front of me. We're fairly happy in our Victorian bubble. And defecating in your spouse's presence. I feel quite faint at the very suggestion.

rastababi · 01/06/2010 19:02

IveStillGotIt You're my fucking hero

We love the whole "pull my finger thing" too.

I fart, poo, pee, shave, laugh, cry, throw up, give birth, fall over.......the list is endless, anyhoo, it's all done in front of my DH.

NormalityBites · 01/06/2010 19:07

Grabs DP and joins SOH in the Victorian bubble

No I don't buy tampons in front of my DP. Nor would I buy pile cream, or thrush tablets, or anything else delicate (never actually bought either of those things but there you go) I wouldn't run and hide if he saw me buying them or make a special trip to avoid him seeing, but I'd much prefer to send him to look at DVDs

lovechoc · 01/06/2010 19:15

I fart and burp in front of DH - I don't see why I should be discrete about it! DH also does same in front of me and I joke about how disgusting it is but we're human at the end of the day and it's perfectly normal to let it out.

Better out than in!!

maristella · 01/06/2010 19:26

i must have blown my Victorian bubble away

ShowOfHands · 01/06/2010 19:32

And giving birth to your child with dh/p present is nothing at all like defecating in front of him. Unless you stick a hat on the turd and publish its first photograph on fb.

And I despise myself for typing the word turd.

If you find bodily functions funny you haven't been exposed to enough genuine comedy I'm afraid.

maltesermuncher · 01/06/2010 19:40

For me the crux of a new relationship is not when you first sleep together/get naked in front of him but when you first fart in his presence. That shows confidence and comfort in a budding relationship IMO.

Fortunately my fiance was a windy miller right from the off, so it was only a matter of time before I took the plunge. I must admit its not very romantic at times (especially his killer post-coital dutch ovens), but it's not a deal breaker.

We had an unfortunate epsiode recently when our drain became blocked which revealed 3ft deep of floating nastiness. Bless him, he still proposed to me a few weeks later, so romance is not dead.

Hey ho. Pull my finger . . .

Bumperlicious · 01/06/2010 19:44

The only time I announce things like that is if DD is badgering me and I have been known to scream 'Can't I just have a poo in peace?!'

DeFluffy · 01/06/2010 19:46

what's a dutch oven??

SOH - I can't believe I typed the f word, ick.

minipie · 01/06/2010 19:49

"I fart, poo, pee, shave, laugh, cry, throw up, give birth, fall over.......the list is endless, anyhoo, it's all done in front of my DH."

That's us.

I'd be really worried if I were one of these "maintain the mystery" women. What will happen when if the mystery wears off?

Me, I prefer to know that my DH loves and fancies me even if I do fart etc in front of him. Clearly he finds me very attractive. Or he has a fart fetish...

TottWriter · 01/06/2010 19:51

DP and I fart in front of each other. The ice (so to speak) we well and truly broken when I was pg with DS and cleared our bedroom for a considerable time, just as we had been about to go to bed. Sadly I've never lived it down, despite blaming it on DS and his unfortunate habit of kicking me in the colon whilst a foetus.

I can't say I'd be completely happy to go to the loo in front of DP, though he has walked in on me when I've been sat on the toilet. I think he's more squeamish about that than me though, because as I've pointed out to him, when I'm sat on the loo, there's nothing to see. My legs are together or my clothes cover all. (Less so atm, as I'm heavily preggers, but still.) The only time he's seen me poo was when I gave birth. And he still brings it up if he wants to make me squirm.

I have sent DP out to buy tampons for me in the past, too. He whinges a little, but if he's the one doing the shopping when I need them, he's the one buying them. As long as you tell someone brand and variety, how can they go wrong? It's just the same as going out to buy anything else. Plus, periods happen, though DP does at times make a point of calling them 'unpleasantness' in a tongue-in-cheek way.

maltesermuncher · 01/06/2010 19:52

A dutch oven is when you let rip a juicy fart in bed and pull the covers over yourself/DP to inhale, or tuck bedclothes under your chin so the odour lingers for longer, and can be released in stages to be enjoyed at your leisure.

Sorry but you asked!

ShowOfHands · 01/06/2010 20:00

I don't not do it to retain mystery. It's not mysterious is it? He knows I'm human, he knows I function like one. He just doesn't need or deserve to share in it. I'm sure he doesn't sit around wondering what mysterious things my arse does when I'm in a bathroom. Does it produce balloons? Or flowers? Or sing? No, he's of reasonable intelligence, he can work it out. I don't need to show him any more than I need to believe him deluded.

I don't burp though. Never have.

DeFluffy · 01/06/2010 20:03

Maltesers

lovechoc · 01/06/2010 20:04

lol - don't burp! that's just like someone saying they don't fart...I think if that's the case you need to see a doctor. All these functions are perfectly normal and it's even more normal to do it in front of others. There's a slight falseness there if you are unable to be yourself in front of your loved one.

DH and myself have been farting and burping and crapping in front of each other for years now. Oh dear should I have said all that - how absolutely disgusting and revolting!

DS also sees me on the toilet on a regular basis, he sees DH on the toilet on a regular basis - we're a 'leave the doors open' kind of family.

ShowOfHands · 01/06/2010 20:11

Well, you see I don't judge you for your choices. It doesn't mean that you're more open or share more or more connected or anything. It means you do things differently. Nowt to do with falseness. Why should I do something in front of dh I am not comfortable with to satisfy your notion of honesty?

And I don't burp. You can laugh all you like. I don't. And I've made it to 29 without doing so. I don't choose not to. I just don't.

BeatrixRotter · 01/06/2010 20:21

Unfortunately I burst the fart bubble fairly early on by letting one go discreetly in the middle of the night when DP had gone to the loo. Except it was the loudest fart I'd ever done and he heard it from the other side of the house.

We don't hold back now.

TottWriter · 01/06/2010 20:25

Oh, burping. I try not to burp too dramatically in front of DP. That's because of the stories my Dad and sister have told him about my unladylike habit of producing utter drainpipes on demand . My mother was and is an utter prude about belching, so we used to save it for my Dad's house, and things got a bit ridiculous (think competitions). But I don't do that in front of DP. Farts and burps which you can't help are one thing, but doing it on purpose isn't really something he would find funny.

Schulte · 01/06/2010 20:31

I am a big fan of keeping a bit of privacy - even DD1, now she is 3 I don't want her in the bathroom when I am on the loo, let alone DH. I always swore I'd never wash my second DH's underwear and socks after getting divorced once because I think it doesn't exactly help with finding a man sexy when you have to deal with their dirty underwear, but unfortunately I am in charge of all the washing in this house. And I don't like listening to him on the loo either but the only bathroom in our house is en-suite so I have to sometimes! We haven't had sex in ages

tyler80 · 01/06/2010 20:39

If it's not funny why do even toddlers smile when they let one go, it's instinctive!

(Suppose you could use the argument that toddlers haven't seen enough decent comedy...)

MrsC2010 · 01/06/2010 20:40

I don't, but I don't in front of anyone. Neither do I burp etc, and there is no way I would have him in the bathroom while I'm on the loo.

God I'm obviously very uptight!

mizu · 01/06/2010 20:41

We do everything in front of each other, I come from a windy family and if i don't let it out I get terrible tummy ache, my sis is the same. Can't imagine not trumpeting in front of anyone in my family, me and DH still find it funny when we do massive farts

lovechoc · 01/06/2010 20:45

this thread has been a real eye opener as to how so many others are uptight about natural bodily functions. Nice to see a few others like myself though - very relaxed with bodily functions. It's all part of being human.

ShowOfHands · 01/06/2010 20:47

DD finds funny shaped potatoes, laugh out loud, guffaw funny. It's no reflection of a normal, adult, non-potato-fetishist, reaction to a lumpy spud. Today she laughed for 10 minutes at a blue light.

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