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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not 'release wind' in front of my DP?

172 replies

KodakTheBat · 01/06/2010 16:33

We've been together 3 years. I've never done it. During a conversation with the girls last night, in their words I'm a 'bloody freak' . I've also told him I don't poo

I'm not weird am I? Surely I'm not the only one who doesn't...?

OP posts:
DeFluffy · 01/06/2010 17:23

Was going to start a similar thread myself. I don't do the 'f' thing in front of anyone let alone DP, I would be mortified. I also don't like it if he does it in front of me.

I said to him the other night 'how am i supposed to think of you in an erotic way/get in the mood if you do that in front of me?'. I'm not uptight sexually at all, or prudish about periods/shaving legs or anything but that one thing (and weeing/pooing in front of each other) makes me feel physically sick.

It's just not sexy, I can't imagine Daniel Craig as James Bond doing it, can you?

Bumperlicious · 01/06/2010 17:26

OMG, I couldn't imagine not farting in front of DH, I am prolific at it for some reason (not something I am proud of.) But it doesn't bother him in the slightest and I would be offended if it did. He however is v private, always shuts the bathroom door, even when he is just having a wash or cleaning his teeth and I have only ever heard him fart once and consequently it was the most hilarious thing for me. I don't know if he just doesn't do it or does to the bathroom, he is very private though. I however am not!

foureleven · 01/06/2010 17:32

bumperlicious - what do you do in other company?

minipie · 01/06/2010 17:35

Hah. DH and I happily fart in front of each other, and actually find it quite funny (that toilet humour never quite goes away).

Luckily mine don't normally smell .

In general I am very very relaxed about bodily functions and tbh I don't think it's particularly healthy to give my DH the impression that I am some sort of angelic being without messy aspects - he will only be disappointed one day! I'd much rather he knew the "real me" and loved/fancied me anyway.

Those who don't poo/fart in front of your DH: was he there when you gave birth? How did he react?

Original poster
KodakTheBat · 01/06/2010 17:37

minipie- my DP was there, and very 'hands on'. He couldn't cut the cord though. Thats different though.

OP posts:
Morloth · 01/06/2010 17:38

I lock the door when I go to the bathroom. Not so much for privacy but because I vant to be alone. I like to read while I poo, is peaceful - sometimes I wear my earphones as well to block out the sounds of the yelling that "I need a wee!" that happen as soon as I close the bloody door.

foureleven · 01/06/2010 17:38

Ex was there, business end, when I gave birth and pretty much never wanted to have sex with me again afterwards... (despite the make up )

But he was a prick.

homicidalmummy · 01/06/2010 17:40

I also don't fart in front of dh and he seems equally as restrained! If ithappens when i am asleep, it happens and I am none the wiser.
Don't wee in front of him- wouldn't go in if he was the shower and I was really desparate.

Never seen me shave legs etc and don't like him watchingme pluck eyebrows either.... Or get dead skin of feet-yuck!!

There has to be a degree of mystery.... Or illusion! Yes I am naturally beautiful and never fart!

Morloth · 01/06/2010 17:40

foureleven "But he was a prick."

There's your variable!

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 01/06/2010 17:41

But how awful your lives will all be when you get old together and both get incontinent! Isn't it better to be comfortable with eachothers normal humanness now so you can help eachother without vomitting or going off eachother physically when you need it?

SirBoobAlot · 01/06/2010 17:42

I never used to... I then I gave birth Quickly realised that all dignity had been left in the delivery suite, and now I couldn't care less. The fact that he secretly is five years old and giggles whenever either of us pass wind probably relaxes the atmosphere slightly

Bumperlicious · 01/06/2010 17:45

Well foureleven I just do it, it is embarrassing sometimes but we are grown ups and it is a natural process. I just can't always hold it in.

I try and let it out as noiselessly as possible, and try and talk or cough to mask the sound! What's the worst someone can think of you? 'XXXX farts' - wow, big whoop we all do it!

I think there is a balance to be had between being too open and being too shy about natural bodily functions. Really, everyone poos, everyone farts, everyone wees. We don't have to share it but we don't have to pretend it doesn't happen either. And if you can't do it in front of the person closest to you when you have to then that is a bit sad.

Original poster
KodakTheBat · 01/06/2010 17:45

But it would be understandably then MrsWobble. There's no need for me to cock my leg and let rip now... I can hold it, so I will

OP posts:
PrivetDancer · 01/06/2010 17:50

Normality - you really wouldn't buy tampons in front of your dh? I do think that's a bit extreme!

Original poster
KodakTheBat · 01/06/2010 17:52

I wfeel abit strange buying them in front of him. I couldn't ask him to pick some up for me either, he'd probably come back with tena lady instead anyway...

OP posts:
DeFluffy · 01/06/2010 17:55

MrsW - he was in the delivery suite with me, chased colostrum around my nipples with a syringe (don't ask), however, I would never want to go to the toilet in front of him and hate it when he does in front of me (to be precise he leaves the door open).

As for the 'wind' issue I don't think you can change how you feel about it, you either like it or don't. But, in the interests of science I will try reciting the following later:

"Yes DP is deeply attractive when he farts in front of me and the smell goes into my nose and mouth. Oh yes."

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 01/06/2010 17:59

My DH is a very windy person, and will happily trump in front of me EVERY day. Luckily, the don't smell, and he always gives me a childish, cheeky smirk and we both burst out laughing.
Me on the otherhand, have only farted probably twice in 11 years in front of him, both accidentially - which he found hilarious and insisted on going on about it for ages afterwards

I was brought up in a house where farting was quite a comical thing, but I have never seen the appealm of doing it myslef infront of anyone.

I wouldnt DARE wee/poo/shave my legs/under arms/cut my toe nails/squeeze a juicy spot in front of DH. Have only just started plucking my eyebrows when he's in the room.
Similar to one other poster, up until only a couple of years ago, I would wait until DH had gone to the shop or was busy in the kitchen, pr had just visited the loo himself before I would go for a number 2!

Bumperlicious · 01/06/2010 18:02

I'm not sure my DH could get tampons either, but not because he'd be embarrassed but because he'd be so overwhelmed by the choice. I would have to give him an exact list of what I wanted. Tis a moot point now anyway as I use a mooncup (when not pg) and even I draw the line at changing that in front of him, but mainly because one wrong move and you can look like you've just killed an animal in the bathroom

Bless my DH though, after I'd had DD I had to get him to check my fanjo stitches as I was far too squeamish to do it myself , was terrified of what I would find down there! He also did perineal massage for me when pg as I was too lazy fat to do it myself.

He still fancies me, so it obviously hasn't put him off!

MintHumbug · 01/06/2010 18:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HelenFF · 01/06/2010 18:21

Would never go the loo in front of husband, but we quite happily fart in front of each other. I say 'happily' - it's fine unless it's one of his stinkers and then I get annoyed! I don't aim to do it in front of him, but if I'm in bed and don't want to pop to the loo, then yes I'll let one go. Luckily mine seem to be acceptable most of the time.

Admittedly I'm not comfortable with him hearing me go the toilet (#2) but it is v.natural, we all do it, and I should just get over it.

This reminds me of the situation at work where the blokes will quite happily announce they're 'going for a dump' and the girls all say they'll never poo at work because it's 'so disgusting'. I think they're lucky to have reliable bowels that never need emptying in the daytime, personally.

1pregheadpumpkin · 01/06/2010 18:24

my DP is very gassy, he wasnt for the first few months but now if he needs to he will, he gets an exasperated lool and a laugh from me, its nice that he's so comfortable.

i activley try not to but if accidents happen, i just laugh and he seems to think its hilarious and will often give me a kiss for my embarassment.

toilet wise though, he will announce he needs a poo but wont do it in front of me, but peeing, yeah, he leaves the door open or will go whilst im in the shower. i wont do either.

periods/shaving are an open all areas thing though. im totally comfortable and so is he.

bleedingheart · 01/06/2010 18:29

MintHumbug- do the two of you acknowledge when you have your period or is it never mentioned? I'm very impressed with how restrained and groomed some of you are!

I couldn't poo in front of my husband but I'm happy to let him see me floss or send him to fetch sanitary towels.

Bonsoir · 01/06/2010 18:32

I'm always amazed by the farting threads on MN. I never fart - I never need to. So the problem of farting in front of others (which is revoltingly bad mannered IMO) doesn't arise.

Morloth · 01/06/2010 18:41

You need to see a doctor Bonsoir, it isn't physically possible for you to be alive and not farting. Perhaps you do little ones that you don't notice, but I assume you eat green veg and beans etc.

AIBU to feel sorry for couples who have never known the giggling horror of the dutch oven?

MintHumbug · 01/06/2010 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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