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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I shouldn't be treated as some kind of 'pariah' because of this????

86 replies

tiredemma · 01/06/2010 16:05

My Inlaws have asked if they can have our children over to stay with them in France for two weeks in August. Wonderful opportunity for them, great opportunity for Dp and I to go off and do something during that time. Great.

I made lots of sensible, rational enquiries and have arranged for them to fly as Unaccompanied Minors with Swissair. Lots of info online and it seems to be a very well planned service

I have made the huge mistake of telling a relative of mine this. She is fairly neurotic at the best of times and is now comparing me (in her words) "to the McCanns" FGS. She is also now obviously tying (for whatever reason) to make me "see sense" and cancel the flight "in case it crashes".
I am well aware of the risks involved with any mode of travel and took this into account when booking the flight. She has also told other relatives about it and seems quite keen to draw them into her hysteria.

I am actually quite pissed off at her attempts to make me feel like I am just dumping my kids at Heathrow airport without a care in the world.

I thought that this would be an exciting opportunity for them. Should I be feeling guilty now??

Hit me with it.

OP posts:
nickelbabe · 01/06/2010 16:06

if swissair has the provision for an unaccompanied minoe, it must be safe to do so...

depends how old really.

i caught a coach to southend when i was 10 on my own.

MathsMadMummy · 01/06/2010 16:06

you haven't said how old your kids are!

Hassled · 01/06/2010 16:07

She's nuts - ignore her. Unaccompanied minor services are great - your DCs will be looked after really well. What age are they? Does the mad relative have much younger children and can't see past that, IYSWIM?

MrsJamesMartin · 01/06/2010 16:08

No you shouldn't be feeling guilty. You made you decision and you are ahppy with it.

Lots of children fly unaccompanied all the time. What age are your children?

Ultimately its your decision what you do.If you're happy take no notice

EveWasFramed10 · 01/06/2010 16:08

Your relative IBU, but I don't think you are at all. They are YOUR children, if you (and they) feel that they are mature enough to manage the travel, then that settles it.
Tell neurotic relative to go piss up a rope, and I hope you all have a fantastic time!

Gigantaur · 01/06/2010 16:08

Next time she mentions it look her dead in the eye and ask " do you think you love my children more than i do?" she will surely say no of course not so then ask " so why is it you think that i would put them in any danger? I am fully aware of what i am doing and would appreciate it if you could mind your own business around this matter from now on please"

dont enter into a debate with her.

TakeLovingChances · 01/06/2010 16:08

What age are your DC?

I can see why she's worried - everyone wants to look after and protect children, but I think your relative is BU.

You're sending them on a plane which is a safe mode of transport. I'm guessing you live in UK, if so, France isn't that far.

I'm sure you've given due thought to them; it sounds like it might be fun for the kids!

Don't feel guilty.

oiteach · 01/06/2010 16:09

The childrens ages are on the op's profile.
6 and 9?

Quite old enough I think, unnacompanied minors services are really good. You've done the research so sod the nutty relative.

Original poster
tiredemma · 01/06/2010 16:09

Sorry- boys will be 7 and 9.

9 year old is very mature though.

OP posts:
MrsJamesMartin · 01/06/2010 16:11

They will be fine at thoses ages.

Children who board at school fly home and back again several times a year unaccompained and much futher than France! At ages nit dissimilar to your DC

Original poster
tiredemma · 01/06/2010 16:12

thanks for replies. I was halfway to cancelling flights.

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 01/06/2010 16:12

Your relative is being utterly reasonable, OP. You do know that if you were on the plane, you would be able to stop it crashing, don't you......

Seriously - don't engage with her on this any more than you absolutely have to. Tell her you love your children and would not do anything to put them at risk, and she has no right to suggest anything else - then tell her you are not discussing it any further.

AMumInScotland · 01/06/2010 16:13

7 and 9 is plenty old enough to send as unacompanied minors - and air travel is statistically one of the safest ways to travel. They will be in the care of a stewardess and escorted from when you hand them over to when their GP collect them. What on earth is her problem?

Pootles2010 · 01/06/2010 16:13

Your relative sounds nuts sorry. And can't stop laughing at her saying plane might crash - obviously this isn't funny in itself, but do you have amazing superpowers to stop planes crashing if you were on that plane? Are you in fact Mrs Incredible?

I think you're being brilliant mum by letting them go on this adventure and not mollycoddling them.

CantSupinate · 01/06/2010 16:13

omg, the McCann case has a lot to answer for; it has made some people so hysterical about risk (changed a policy at our school, for instance).

iamamug · 01/06/2010 16:13

YANBU - what a fabulous opportunity for both the children and you and your DH.
Accompanied services are great - presume you will be dropping them at airport and they will be picked up the other end.
Who the hell does this relative think she is??
Stand your ground - your children, your decision etc.
And the cruel truth is they are more likely to get injured on the way to the airport in your car than on a plane.
Silly silly silly woman.

AMumInScotland · 01/06/2010 16:14

Your relative clearly has some anxiety issues if she can't see the difference between this and leaving a 4yo without any adult supervision. Don't let her wind you up

scurryfunge · 01/06/2010 16:15

My DS has done it numerous times and the service is great....there is nothing at all to worry about....give the 9 year old a cheap pay as you go phone and you can keep in contact right up until boarding.

Sassybeast · 01/06/2010 16:15

I can see her point to be honest. They are still very young IMO and for the sake of 2 weeks freedom, I think you could have spared a couple of days to get them to their destination.

Pootles2010 · 01/06/2010 16:15

Cant - what policy would a school have that would be affected by the McCann case? Do they normally leave children in hotel rooms on their own?

caramelwaffle · 01/06/2010 16:15

Yanbu

Rindercella · 01/06/2010 16:16

Absolutely not BU. She sounds a total fusspot who should not be interferring in your business.

Many years ago - think I was 11 years old - I flew to Italy by myself to stay at my Godmother's farm. It was great. I was looked after all the way and when my Godmother's brother met me at Rome airport without any form of identification on him BA were fantastic and would not let me leave until they were 100% satisfied that he was who he claimed.

It will be a great adventure for your sons

gagamama · 01/06/2010 16:16

YANBU, so long as they've flown before and they're not afraid of going together, I can't see a problem. They wouldn't be offering the service unless they were 100% sure the children in their care were going to be safe and looked after. They're 9 and 7, I reckon they'll love it!

Having said that though, I'm an adult and I don't like flying alone and can't shake the feeling that the plane is falling out the sky during periods of turbulence, because it bloody well feels like it is!

Mingg · 01/06/2010 16:21

Go for it - your sons will love travelling "alone" and the airline will take good care of them

Original poster
tiredemma · 01/06/2010 16:21

we fly quite a lot and they have flown to Geneva airport on numerous occasions. Both enjoy flying and I have really, really researched the UA service- not just with Swissair but with other airlines.

OP posts: