Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I shouldn't be treated as some kind of 'pariah' because of this????

86 replies

tiredemma · 01/06/2010 16:05

My Inlaws have asked if they can have our children over to stay with them in France for two weeks in August. Wonderful opportunity for them, great opportunity for Dp and I to go off and do something during that time. Great.

I made lots of sensible, rational enquiries and have arranged for them to fly as Unaccompanied Minors with Swissair. Lots of info online and it seems to be a very well planned service

I have made the huge mistake of telling a relative of mine this. She is fairly neurotic at the best of times and is now comparing me (in her words) "to the McCanns" FGS. She is also now obviously tying (for whatever reason) to make me "see sense" and cancel the flight "in case it crashes".
I am well aware of the risks involved with any mode of travel and took this into account when booking the flight. She has also told other relatives about it and seems quite keen to draw them into her hysteria.

I am actually quite pissed off at her attempts to make me feel like I am just dumping my kids at Heathrow airport without a care in the world.

I thought that this would be an exciting opportunity for them. Should I be feeling guilty now??

Hit me with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredemma · 01/06/2010 18:05

Thediary- she is one of those people who thinks all men are paedophiles.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 01/06/2010 18:06

YAso-absolutely-definitelyNBU, OP.

It's a fantastic chance for the DC, just the right age to start doing it, and they will have each other. I am seriously considering sending DS(7) to stay with DB, SIL and his cousins on his own (I think sending 3yo DD with him would be a step too far, whatever she thinks ) - Swissair will take every care of them, it will be a fantastic adventure, and your relative is entirely batty. Your only mistake, as you say, was telling her (I can think of some people that may only know about DS flying on his own after the fact )

mazzystartled · 01/06/2010 18:10

what a SILLY SILLY woman
OP I would have to have it out with her....attitudes like this make the world a less rather than more safe place
(is it your mum btw?)

CheerfulYank · 01/06/2010 18:14

YADNBU, and I am of both you and your DC.

I think it will be just fine. Of course I'm pretty much a free-range parent, but still. I'm sure they will be very well looked after.

Lizzylou · 01/06/2010 18:16

Oh God, please don't let it be your Mom or a close treasured friend I've just called an interfering boot

TinaSparkles · 01/06/2010 18:16

I think that your 7 y.o. being with your 9 y.o. is fine and like others are saying as long as they are accompanied by airport staff then they'll be very safe indeed.

I went to Georgia (USA) when I was 12 on my own and have happy memories of being allowed to sit in Business Class for most of the flight and even got to see the pilot!

However to the other poster, just recently I got a panicky call from my neighbour to tell me that our other neighbours DD, who is five, was sobbing on the doorstep because her mum didn't pick her up from school, asking if I had her number. Turns out there she should have went to afterschool club but got mixed up and thought she was going home with her mum who didn't turn up to pick her up. In these circumstances I can see a need for more vigilance from the schools (and nothing to do with the McCanns). Mum has a nightmare 15 mins before she knew this is what happened after getting a call from the club telling her that they didn't know where she was.

Anyway, thats an aside, but just to say that some 5/6/7 year olds can still be get upset about being away from their carers.

bleedingheart · 01/06/2010 18:17

YANBU, you haven't just stuck them on a plane, you've researched it and considered the options. The airline won't take any chances with their safety, this is a great opportunity for all of you

LadyInMauve · 01/06/2010 18:20

She's a loon, ignore her. She clearly has no idea what the airlines do to care for unaccompanied minors - they are NEVER left alone and are made an enormous fuss of by the plane staff.

A friend's DC did this at age 9 and had a BALL!

Don't you dare cancel those flights, your DCs will never forgive you

It is interesting that airlines have VERY strict rules about who unaccompanied minors can sit next to on the plane (they are not allowed to sit next to unknown male adults, for instance) but the budget airlines with free seating seem to be quite happy to leave 3 year olds sitting next to random strangers when they fail to find seats for them next to a parent.

I think I remember your previous thread when you asked for advice on airlines that do this. Hope your DCs have a fun time with Swissair.

violethill · 01/06/2010 18:22

Tell the relative that you are raising your children to feel loved, secure, and to have a spirit of adventure. And I'd be tempted to add 'especially as some of my relatives are pathetically over anxious and I don't want them to inherit the neurosis gene and live a half life full of regrets and missed opportunity!!!!'

HecateQueenOfWitches · 01/06/2010 20:28

She is daft.

When I was about 11 and my sister 3 years younger, we were to go to stay with friends in Vieilley, nr Besancon. We travelled from heathrow to switzerland (am sure it was an airport in Switzerland we went to - on france/swiss border?) unacompanied on flight by our parents. Our parents took us to heathrow, handed us over and we were looked after on the flight, and handed over to our parents' friends in switzerland and they took us to Vielley.

They look after unaccompanied children very well. It is a really great adventure for them. (The kids not the staff. I am sure unaccompanied children are a pain in the arse for the staff but bugger that, eh )

Mamii · 01/06/2010 20:38

My auntie lived/lives in Jersey. As a child, I spent a couple of fabulous summers there. I flew as an unaccompanied minor and loved it! LOVED IT!

The airline companies take their responsibilities seriously and take incredibly good care of unaccompanied kids on flights. The crew will treat them like VIPs. Plus, it's a great experience for the kids.

Don't worry at all. It will be a wonderful experience for all of you. Your kids will be chuffed to bits that you place trust in them and they will always remember this great experience.

You are doing the right thing! Don't let someone who doesn't know what they're talking about persuade you otherwise.

MadamDeathstare · 01/06/2010 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

schoolchauffeur · 01/06/2010 21:18

Absolutely go for it! Your DCs will be spoilt rotten by Swissair- they wont be out of anyones sight from the minute you check them in until the minute the ILs pick them up at the other end on production of photo ID. They will love the experience and enjoy the limited amount of independence they will have- and it will be lovely for your ILs to have the DCs on their own. Enjoy your summer!

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/06/2010 21:49

Your relative is being unreasonable. You have looked into it thoroughly and are satisfied that your DC will be fine. Tbh, I would think they would find it thrilling and the experience will be one that they will treasure.

lucky1979 · 01/06/2010 22:13

I remember reading this article, which details some problems that have happened on long haul flights with unaccompanied minors

SF Weekly article

However, all the problems mentioned happened on night flights, with children alone. You have two children together, flying a short flight in the day time. Different thing, and much much safer.

If she's worried about the plane crashing....just get her to explain what exactly she thinks you will do to stop it? Maybe you can market it.

Clothilde · 01/06/2010 22:33

I ued to travel as an unaccompanied minor going to visit my dad. It was a long time ago, but Swissair were really great wih children.

FairyMum · 01/06/2010 22:44

My children are the same age as yours and often fly alone to see their grandparents abroad. We have never had any problems. When my dd started travelling by herself she was 7 and often a member of the cabin crew would sit with her during take-off and landing if spare seats. They are very well looked after.

The risk of a plane crash is so tiny I don't bother thinking about it.

MmeLindt · 01/06/2010 22:48

Sounds fab for your DC. I am thinking about doing this next year, when the DC will be 7 and 9yo, letting them go to Scotland to see their GPs. Will be a great adventure.

NiandraLaDes · 01/06/2010 23:11

YANBU at all. Do not let this relative talk you out of it. Back in my 'Hostie' days I looked after an unaccompanied minor flying to Australia - she started the flight in floods of tears, as it was her first time away from her parents. I can assure you, she got lots of care, attention, hugs and free food . By the time she disembarked she was happy as anything and had loved the whole experience.

Also, seriously...'cancel the flight "in case it crashes". '. Because this relative assumes you could prevent an airplane crash?! They are being ridiculous and overly paranoid. And it would be awfully difficult for anyone to run away with your DCs at 30,000 feet!

Go for it... Your DCs will enjoy it, they will be well looked after and it will be a great adventure for them!

DancingHippoOnAcid · 01/06/2010 23:12

Lucky - never heard of SF Weekly - is it a reputable publication or one of those run by nutjobs? When an article starts coming out with the likes of "they don't want you to know about this" I start to get a bit

They must have more lax regulations in the US, as I know unaccompanied minors in the EU are not allowed to be seated next to adult males. I was told this by a BA stewardess who had a 13 year old unaccompanied boy to seat and asked my DH to change places with me as the boy was not allowed to be seated next to him.

MadamDeathstare · 01/06/2010 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quattrocento · 01/06/2010 23:45

What happens with unaccompanied minors is that you check them in, hand them over, and the airline pops them on a plane. First time I flew as an unaccompanied minor was when I was 6 - and it was long haul!

Lot of hysterical nonsense on here. A friend of DS is flying out to us on holiday for a week as an unaccompanied minor. At the age of (just) 10. His parents aren't worried.

skihorse · 02/06/2010 05:14

YANBU.

"In case it crashes" is hysterical! Tell her she's welcome to accompany them "in case it crashes"!

Weta · 02/06/2010 05:16

My brother and I flew unaccompanied all the way from London to NZ (including a stop in LA for a few hours) when we were 8 and 10 - it was fine and we were so excited to be taken to the cockpit and allowed to hand out the sweets

We're hoping to send our nearly 7yo unaccompanied on a French train to see his grandparents this summer (they have a special carriage for the children, with entertainment and 1 supervisor for every 10 kids).

Definitely don't worry about it!

kickassangel · 02/06/2010 05:41

i would def go for it. just wish someone could convince dd, (age 6) that she'd be ok on her own - she is scared that there will be 'big bullies' on the plane, so i have to fork out an extra $300 to get her across the US to visit family.

hmm, the article abut kids on planes - i can't find an airline that allows UM on night flights, or flights that stopover. however, it does appear that they simply get the kid on the plane, leave them there, then walk them to meet the adult at the other end. which isn't a lot, really, but they still charge $100 for it each way over here. grr.

send your kids & enjoy it.