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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to leave DS in car at petrol station

113 replies

Elvisina · 29/05/2010 22:50

I wasn't sure where to put this (couldn't find an appropriate place in the 'Being a parent' section). I just wanted to ask whether it's reasonable or not to leave a baby in the car when you buy petrol. My DH and friends say "Yes, of course" and so I do leave my DS in the car usually but today I was at a large Supermarket garage, in a long queue and felt really quite stressed as it seemed as though I was really far away from my car. My DM says "Well, what could happen to him?" and I do see what she means but it just feels a bit odd (he's 5 months). There are a few other situations where I'm also not sure such as leaving him in his bouncy chair in the garden or leaving him in the car while I go back in to get something from upstairs. I'm guessing I'm being ridiculously paranoid but just wanted to know what other people consider to be reasonable.

OP posts:

CrankyTwanky · 29/05/2010 22:54

Hmmm.
Controversial.

I think it's illegal, actually.

Personally, I sometimes do it, but v rarely. There would need to be exceptional circumstances.
I'll go to pay-at-pump garages for this very reason.

mumtofour · 29/05/2010 22:55

I think you should follow you instincts as there is no right or wrong answer to this. In life there are always possibilities that something can go wrong but our minds can also make these possibilities a huge stress when the chances are slim. If it stresses you then i would say take him with you as ultimately it is your decision and could you live with yourself if something did happen? You sound a fab caring mum and i am sure you know deep in yourself whats best.

MarineIguana · 29/05/2010 22:58

I would do all of those, but like you I'd worry if it was for more than a minute or so or if I couldn't see the baby. I'd make sure the car was locked and ventilated and I wouldn't do it in very hot weather, but otherwise I think it's OK.

larks35 · 29/05/2010 22:58

TBH if you are stressing then surely it's easier to take him with you. I never had this problem as I don't drive, but I have left DS in garden by himself to go get sometihing from indoors etc.

AWellHungParliament · 29/05/2010 23:01

I would play it safe if I were you and lock the baby in the boot while you go in to browse pay.

imgonnaliveforever · 29/05/2010 23:06

I get this problem a lot as my 2 dcs both fall asleep in the car, so obviously I am loathe to wake them just to go into a petrol station/newsagent/etc.

My rule is: if I can see the car the whole time then I will leave them and just keep watching the car the whole time.

You have to assess the risk.

Will someone take them? Unlikely if the car is locked. Also unlikely that people looking for kids to abduct would go for ones that are locked in a car in a public place.

Will someone steal the car with them in it? Depends on your car (my car - probably not) Also I figure opportunist car theives mostly just want a car to sell on and wouldn't want the hassle of dealing with the kids so would probably just pick another car

Will the car spontaneously explode/roll away/etc? Use your judgement, is it on a hill? Has there been a problem with the electrics or overheating?

scanty · 29/05/2010 23:06

sure I always did it, especially as they slept so much in the car and didn't want to wake them.

DuelingFanjo · 29/05/2010 23:09

Yeah - it's fine and it's not illegal. You should do whatever you feel comfortable with.

monkeyfacegrace · 29/05/2010 23:09

Is this a joke? Seriously? You are leaving your baby in what is, to all intents and purposes,a safe. WTF can happen? Asides alien abduction and an explosion, sod all.

I always leave mine in the car, never thought otherwise.
I also leave them in a locked car on the driveway while they sleep, and in the car while I nip into the bank/shops.

Seriously, PFB rings loudly.

MumNWLondon · 29/05/2010 23:11

I do as long as I can see the car from where I pay. I also lock the car.

lazylula · 29/05/2010 23:17

I leave mine in the car on the rare occasion that I fill the car up with diesel when on my own. I can always see them and I think they are safer strapped in there than walking across the forecourt to the shop (not to mention the subsequent battle to strap ds2 back in his car seat that he so loves!)

imgonnaliveforever · 29/05/2010 23:21

A warning though, my FIL works with minority groups in a deprived area and says he knows families who got their kids taken off them for leaving them asleep in the car outside their house. He is really fussy that we take DCs insideb (and he is usually really laid back and couldn't give a hoot about any aspect of parenting). Since speaking to him I always bring DCs into the house. DS is 2.6 and I can just about lift him in his Group 1 carseat out of the car and carry it into the hallway. Eventually he will get too heavy, but then I guess daytime sleeps will soon be less important.

lazylula · 29/05/2010 23:27

I wouldn't leave mine asleep in the car while I was indoors, but I have and do often strap them in their seats and the pop back in to get the last bits I need and check I locked the back door ect and I have left them in the car while I unload the car of shopping. Mine are 4.6 and 1.11 and both play in the garden alone, mainly together but ds2 plays out there when ds1 is at pre school and I just listen out for him and put my head out the door from timt to time.

Original poster

Elvisina · 29/05/2010 23:27

Thanks everyone. Monkeyfacegrace you are so right about PFB. I totally hold my hands up to that one! I'm loving being a mum but know I am annoying everyone I know with endless questions (I actually contacted my HV to ask if it was ok that my DS had started sleeping through the night!). That's why my discovery of MN is so great but I'm going to have to hold myself back!

OP posts:

paisleyleaf · 29/05/2010 23:30

i try and go to the pay-at-pump one.
Otherwise I take DD with me. But I only have her, so it's easy - if I had more DCs I'd probably leave them in the car.

gomummygo · 29/05/2010 23:30

Have never, would never, BUT that is down to my own anxiety about it rather than the law/other folks opinions/PFBness/etc. I would simply be unable to breathe with worry so it is actually easier this way for me.

IsThatTheTime · 29/05/2010 23:35

If I can see them, I leave them. Personal choice though.

missjackson · 29/05/2010 23:36

I live in a quiet rural area where everyone knows everyone, and so felt fairly okay about leaving DS in locked car while I paid for petrol.... but then I started thinking, what if the worst happened, mobile phone fire or something... I think you need to be sure you would never regret your actions if the worst came to the worst. Now I take him unless he is sound asleep. If that's the case, I barge to the front of the queue, keeping my eye on the car, and say very sweetly, sorry, do you mind, my baby is in the car... I am sure I piss some people off but who cares?

MadamDeathstare · 29/05/2010 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wukter · 29/05/2010 23:41

I would do it, but only if I could see the car. And like MissJackson I am in a rural area so there are always sharp beady eyes keeping an eye on things anyway.

MollieO · 29/05/2010 23:42

Let's hope your traffic police don't tell you the story of the baby left in a locked car on a petrol station forecourt that caught fire. Nothing anyone could do.

I was parked today in a street waiting to collect ds from a class. Woman parked her car in front of mine. Got out of car. Went off. Came back a good 5 mins later (well two songs on the radio). Opened car. Got toddler out of car and went again. I sat there open-mouthed (and very judgy). Each to their own but not something I have ever done or would do. Ds is now 5 and sometimes asks to stay in the car when I pay for petrol. Answer is always no. Obviously it will become yes when he is older (say 16 ).

IsThatTheTime · 29/05/2010 23:45

Surely if you always think "what if the worst happened" missjackson you would never leave the house in the first place? It's a managed risk, of the kind we take pretty much all day every day.
That said, MadamDeathstare makes a very good point about more, er, dextrous DCs!

hoppershopper · 29/05/2010 23:47

I would, as long as you are only nipping in. My worry is taking them out and trying to negotiate all the cars (boy racers!) speeding off from the pumps with 2 small DCs in tow.
I think in a petrol station they are fine, and safer strapped in their seats.

SeaTrek · 30/05/2010 08:32

This is the one place where I would leave my son in the car, and always have done, as far as can remember (he is just 6 now).

I figured it was safter as I could always see him....I am rethinking that now because of the fire comment.

seeker · 30/05/2010 08:38

"Let's hope your traffic police don't tell you the story of the baby left in a locked car on a petrol station forecourt that caught fire. Nothing anyone could do."

When and where did this happen? And why didn't it make the national news? And why didn't the petrol station explode?

"my FIL works with minority groups in a deprived area and says he knows families who got their kids taken off them for leaving them asleep in the car outside their house."

Taken off them by whom?

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