Is my DH BU about organ donation

[Hai1988]

Today i was in my local chemist picking up a prescription when i noticed a organ donation leaflet to register and i had been thinking about it for a while as my nan had a heart transplant before she died and it gave her an extra 20 years (she was 50 when she had the op)
I took the leaflet and took it home, when i got home i showed to to by DH and asked what he thought, and he point blank told me he didnt want me to register. I asked him why, and he said that i was his wife and he didnt want some1 else having part of me when the time came.
He wasnt being mean about it, it was kinda sweet
But i do feel quite strongly about this and now dont no what to do
What do you lot think??

Your dh is BU - but unfortunately as things stand, he would have the last word if something were to happen to you

I like the idea of threatening to haunt him if he doesn't fulfill your wishes

I carry a donor card an my dh does not (as he also has that irrational fear that "they" wouldn't do everything possible to save him). However - we have talked about it and I know that if something awful were to happen to me, he would respect my wishes.

However, I will also have to respect his

Troublewithtalk - why do you have the perception that organ donation ivolves anyone being 'carved up '? It's a grotesque descripton and actually quite offensive to anyone who has been involved either in the donation or receipt of an organ, either from a personal or professional point of view. There is lots of info of the organ donor website about what the process actually involves.

But I thought the next of kin had the final say, donor car, or not.

Personally I wouldn't be bothered about my organs being used, I have registered, but don't carry a card.

If it came to DH, who has said he wouldn't want to (biggest whimp ever) I would give the choice to his mother. For some reason, I think she should have the final say (I hae no idea what that would be)

I was very pro organ donation, but when I had my DC, I could totally understand why someone wouldn't want to to give consent for a loved ones organs to be used. I would find it very hard if it were my DC...but of course I wouldn't refuse an organ if I or my DC needed it.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By LynetteScavo Fri 28-May-10 19:07:20

'I would find it very hard if it were my DC...but of course I wouldn't refuse an organ if I or my DC needed it'

which is the point of the new campaign.

adult organs generally wont be the right size for children. and children need transplants as well as adults.

most of us would take an organ if needed,, but wont register to donate.

So you wouldn't take one either then trouble? It is the idea of one person's organs being put into another person's body that is abhorrent to you?

The trouble is YOU never know if and when you will NEED an organ. My wonderful husband, was told when I was 6 months pregnant, that he would need to go on kidney dialysis within a year.

Since our daughter has been 6 months old her dad has had to go to hospital 3 times a week to get dialysis and it's a horrible, painful, demoralising process for a 34 year old man to have to endure. He's in the prime of his life with a young family and to be honest we would probably wouldn't have contemplated starting one if we thought it would be this hard.

He's been on the Transplant waiting list for 4 years now, but still nothing. I am hoping to donate one to him to give us our life back but with our DD so young it won't be until we feel she is able to copy with both her parents being away from her. If only we could that phone call from the transplant people.

So, for the sake of people that do actually need, please stick with your own principles and do what you think is the right thing to do.

You and your family might need it yourself one day.

So since my

exactly tina. in march 2002 dh was anormal healthy adult.

in april he suffered heart failure and wasnt expected to live beyond the weekend.

in march 05, he went on the transplant list.

he finally got a heart in august 2007

i think you are right trouble, that it has to be your decision, and your dp/dh/dw should support that decision. its good you will be picking up a card. he can also register online as well

here

of course there will be. its all done with upmost respect and care to the patient and their families.

but just remember, statisically you are more likely to need an organ than donate one.

Both I and DD are on the register. My DH carries a card. If I or DD were killed in an accident I would far prefer that someone else got to live, or see, or come off dialysis, or anything else. And all my relatives are fully aware of this. If you ever expect that if you needed an organ transplant, you should be on the list, then you should be on it yourself. Anything else feels rather hypocritical to me.

I am on the organ donation register as I believe, strongly, that it is the right thing to do. My mum was not happy (adopting the argument that they would not try so hard to save you!?!) My husband understands and supports my decision, indeed, he is going to register as well (not that I can see what they would want from him - . Personally I think that organ donation should be a given, that you should have to 'opt out' of the scheme rather than opt in. It is your body, your decision Go with what you feel strongly about, even if he does not agree he should respect your deeply felt feelings on this.

Legally it is slightly contentious as to whether relatives have the right to withdraw consent if there is a valid donor card in existence.

Practically however the treating medical team would NEVER remove organs without relatives consent even if a donor card existed. Therefore it is vital that everone discusses this with their family and makes sure that people know their wishes.

It is a slightly bizarre conversation to have (but no worse than arguing about who gets guardianship of the kids if you both die).

TBH, I am not against donating my organs, although I'm not sure they will be of any use to anyone(I had a massive heart attack a few years ago and cant give blood now either ).
I would prefer though to have some say in who would get them. Family members first followed by those who needed an organ through no fault of their own - should George Best really have received a liver?
If ever I have to make that decision for either of my DC or DH, I hope I am strong enough to say yes

having been bereaved of two of my four precious sons all I can say is - I am so delighted that my DS3 donated his corneas after he was dead on arrival at hospital....Im so sorry that one of my 7 month old twin boys died without being able to donate any of his organs. I think we all have to think of others - at all times.......My darling son carried a donor card....he even put it in his pyjamas pockets....please remember my sons when you next go online or in the chemist....remember that just filling in a simple organ donors card or registering online means everything. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

troublewithtalk - of course you have the right to not want to donate your organs and you have the right to not feel pressures into it. But that doesn't mean that there shouldn't be an opt-out system in place - if you feel that strongly about it, you will opt out! And that's find.

The opt out system would be more for people who never think about it, don't want to think about it because they don't like to think about dying, or who are just apathetic.

Anyone who actively doesn't want to donate could/would opt out.

I have registered and hope I would be as understanding of the needs of other families if it, God forbid, one of my dcs.