… to moan that my DH has joined army reserves?

[toja555]

MY DH was looking for an evening/weekend job for a long time in order to support the income. Having not found anything, he looked into joining RAF (royal army?) reserves option and, after few months of going regularly to the gym, passed all tests and got accepted. He told what he was doing, said it is good money for not doing much, and it takes only one evening a week/every second Saturday and 6 weekend trainings a year. Kind of better off financially/timewise than working long evening shifts in supermarket. I was neutral on the fact that he is trying to get his job, but disapproved that he didn?t bother to convince me why I should be happy for him going away for weekends, and moreover, real possibility to get ask for a mission in a war? He didn?t feel it was worth telling me (because I would have disapproved any way), and I only clarified myself that behind all this ?good money? and ?only few evenings and Saturdays? there is possibility for him to get send to a war.

I am terribly angry and frustrated that he makes major decisions without involving me into the consideration. On the other hand, I would have said No. We have one 2yo son and expecting another child, and I feel that his contribution to our family already is low (timewise, after full-time job and gym almost every night).
Because I am not happy for him, we now barely talk.

Please shoot me in case you think I should be happy and proud of my DH that he passed all fitness tests and will go through very rough training and bring some more money home?.

Hi again. I asked DH, he is in Finance trade and he said that he can so "no" for deployment. I am not sure if I believed this. Certainly we have a problem in our family of making decisions without even letting properly know about it (I am not even talking about him asking my opinion, that seems out of the window). As far as I am concerned after all this done I just have to accept what's done and draw my life based on my own asspirations... At the end of the day, it is not me its him who will lose out the most.

Just so you know, there is no specific Finance trade in the RAAF. The link below lists the trades available to those wishing to join.

www.raf.mod.uk/rafreserves/careersandroles/roles.cfm

Hi toja555
It sounds like your husband has signed up to the Admin trade.
Obviously your husband was unreasonable to not include you in this desicion but it is done now!
Do you know where his parent unit is? (Base where he trains) you can contact the hive there and they can give you some more info on your hubbys new job without ommitting parts!!
My husband is taking a flt of reserves out to Afghan next year and unfortuantley the job they will be doing is quite dangerous! You will not believe how many of the wives have contacted the base asking exactly what thier husbands had signed up to!
Hopefully it will work out for you.

OP, YADNBU. DH is TA, served 11 1/2 months in Basra (had 8 days notice before deployment) and is being deployed to Afghanistan next year.

Being a TA wife sucks. You get all the rubbish parts of being a forces wife and absolutely none of the benefits (like support,respect, or even recognition). I can't count the number of people I have had say "well, he doesn't have to go, he's only TA". No, actually he does have to go. Not optional. I totally disagree with the poster who implied that if you don't want to go, you won't get sent. Bollocks.

Don't misunderstand me, I have no issues with DH being deployed, it's what he signed up for after all.

But I do get bloody furious with the complete lack of support that the army offers reservists; no support once you're back in your old job, DH can't stand Nov 5th because it reminds him of when he got shelled. He won't come to church any more and has stopped believing in God ever since he saw children die. He won't talk about ANYTHING that happened that year. I've picked up the pieces. Not the sodding Army.

OP, I've ranted, and I apologise. FWIW, your Dh sounds very immature and needs to look at it properly and what it entails. I hope you get some support.

I am just reading and going all

"As part of the RauxAF, the likelihood of him being pinged for a tour of Afghanistan without him actually sticking his mitt up in the air and volunteering is practically zero."

I can only speak about the medical side of the RAAF but zero it is most definitely not. The RAAF is being used both on detachment and for Aeromed duties.

Once you know what trade/squadron he has joined you may get a better idea of what the likelihood of him being deployed is going to be.

Do you know what RAF camp he needs to attend?

Do you know what base he is going to? It would get it narrowed down to at least a few possible trades as there is no finance trade. Can you ask to read his info on it? If you can find out his trade & base then just ring the nearest AFCO and ask about it all. I bet my bottom dollar he is a gunner and doesn't want to say, most other trades are not very often open. Out of about 6 trades my DH could have chosen 2, and even then the one that wasn't gunner there was a wait.