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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

giving a present back to the giver?

53 replies

Greythorne · 17/05/2010 17:00

My DH has a cousin who has 4 DCs and I always give / send them birthday presents. I sent a tee shirt to one of them a few weeks ago and we went round to their house yesterday. During the afternoon, the mum said, "Oh, by the way, the tee you sent for X, is lovely but it doesn't fit, do you mind taking it back?" She handed me the tee, which still had the ticket of it.

I took it and apologised for buying the wrong size, but inside, was thinking, "how rude, why doesn'tb she return it herself?"

So, now I have to go back to the shop, return the tee, they will almost certainly not still have that tee in stock as it was a few weeks ago, try to find something that will fit, then send it through the post again.

But if she took it back, she would be able to get exactly the right size and cut out alot of the hassle.

AIBU to think she was not only rude but also expecting me to do alot which she could do herself?

OP posts:
LetThereBeRock · 17/05/2010 17:02

YANBU.

paulaplumpbottom · 17/05/2010 17:02

She probably thinks its a hassle to return things when she doesn't have the reciept. I don't think she was being rude.

gorionine · 17/05/2010 17:02

Would she not need the receipt to bring it back herself?

nowwearefour · 17/05/2010 17:03

i would just take it back and get a refund. i wouldnt bother sending anything else. that is so unbelievably rude. yanbu

pjmama · 17/05/2010 17:04

Did you offer to give her the receipt so she could do it herself? Is there a branch of the shop you bought it from nearby that she could easily get to? Or would she have had to make a special trip etc.?

LIZS · 17/05/2010 17:05

But she has no legal right to return it - with or without the receipt - as the shop has its contract with you not her. Even then you are relying on the discretion of the shop to exchange or refund.

hamstercheeks · 17/05/2010 17:06

$I think it's really rude. With the ticket still on she probably would be able to get an exchange. She should do it herself or regift it.

Mowgli1970 · 17/05/2010 17:06

Yanbu. She could have taken it back and exchanged it herself.

diddl · 17/05/2010 17:09

I don´t think she was rude at all.

Surely as the giver who bought the wrong size it´s up to you to change it?

annielouisa · 17/05/2010 17:10

I do not know if YABU I think there could have been a few reasons she thought it was easier to the return the tee shirt to the giver. It can be a real hassel to organise a shopping trip with 4 DCs. The shop may not be local to her. I always enquire of my DCs what sizes my DGC wear before any purchases as it avoids any mistakes. I honsetly did not get the impression from the way you say she phrased her request that she was trying to cause an issue.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 17/05/2010 17:10

Possibly rude how she did it, but if she doesn't have the receipt then she may have no right to a refund or exchange. Maybe she didn't want ask for the receipt so she didn't find out how much it cost?

Was she expecting a exchange, or do you think she just didn't want you to have wasted your money so you could get the refund for yourself?

< charitable face >

mistletoekisses · 17/05/2010 17:13

Hmm, not that cut and dried for me. The cousin has 4 DC's, so maybe she has a lot on her plate?

Where is the closest outlet of this shop for her? I was bought a present (totally wrong for DS2); getting a correct size etc involved a 90 min round trip.

I don't really think it was rude of her.

MrsJohnDeere · 17/05/2010 17:14

I don't think she was rude tbh.

2shoes · 17/05/2010 17:14

yanbu
she is rude

upahill · 17/05/2010 17:15

Why is she being rude? Surely better to say it's not right than having something wasted and it was you that bought the t shirt so as others pointed out the contract is with you not her.

Things can get a bit arkward if you have bought things on a card as well where it has to be refunded and then a new item bought.

I think you are making a fuss over nothing on this one tbh.

annh · 17/05/2010 17:17

If she had taken the t-shirt back (ticket or no ticket) without a receipt, she would only have been given the lowest price for which the item has been on sale. If the t-shirt is now on sale at half-price, that's all she will get. If she can't find anything else suitable, she cannot get the money refunded as it would have to go back on your card.

Original poster
Greythorne · 17/05/2010 17:27

It's a chain of shops, and she has one close to her.

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 17/05/2010 17:34

What was she asking you to do? exchange or refund (see my post above)

upahill · 17/05/2010 17:38

It really doesn't matter if the shop is next door to her house it is you that bought a present that wasn't suitable not her.

pointydog · 17/05/2010 17:42

she was rude. Maybe now's the time to stop giving presents, just send a card. Or just give a fiver.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 17/05/2010 17:44

The way you type it does sound like she was rude but with this sort of thing it is all in the tone of voice.

Why not keep the t-shirt for another child and send something else?

janeite · 17/05/2010 17:51

She was rude and yanbu. I am shocked that some people seem to think you were in the wrong for buying 'the wrong gift' tbh.

upahill · 17/05/2010 17:53

I wasn't implying the gift was wrong as in totally not appropiate but if it doesn't fit it is wrong. Quite clearly not done on purpose but if it is not right it may as well been used as a rag for all the good it is going to the child.

upahill · 17/05/2010 17:56

I really don't get why people think she was rude.
Surely better to say something than have a wasted gift.

The legal obligations have already been discussed. I would have no problem whatso ever if I was requested me to swop something I had got them. I'd rather they were pleased and got what they wanted rather than have something shoved in the back of a wardrobe or given to a charity shop at first chance.

traceybath · 17/05/2010 17:57

Well I think it was rude but then I was brought up to say 'thank you its lovely' whatever I was given.