to think my SIL should've kept her DS under control?

[BettyButterknife]

Went out for a meal at the weekend with most of DH's family (13 of us). SIL's DS is 3.5yo and quite a handful. My DS is coming up to 3yo and totally in love with his cousin - proper hero-worship stuff.

So anyway, food comes and I expect my DS to sit up at the table and eat with everyone. SIL's DS eats fast, my DS is a very slow eater, so about 20 minutes into the meal SIL lets her DS get down from the table. My DS sees this and says he's finished (he hasn't) and can he get down too.

Long story, but there's a history of SIL feeling like the rest of the family question her parenting methods, so I was put in an awkward position where I'm trying to explain to my DS that we all stay sitting at the table until everyone has finished, and that it's not acceptable to run around in a crowded restaurant with waiting staff trying to do their jobs, carrying trays etc. All the time nephew is standing there next to DS completely confusing the issue. In the end I let DS get down as he was crying while nephew was laughing and winding DS up, and I felt there was only so much I could say without potentially starting a row about how to parent.

But AIBU to think that if you're going to take children out for a meal you should expect some control over the situation?

Do fuck off??? There's really no need for that LeQueen.

How rude.

No wonder your business deals are so fragile if that's how you speak to people.

Fluffy, you obviously haven't read my post.

"Have you thought about hiring somewhere to conduct business deals that have the potential to affect the careers and lives of several people? Seems a bit silly to do them in public when they can so easily be jeopardised by other customers."
Yes, I read that and I think you're rather out of touch. There is nothing silly about conducting business in what should be a relaxed environment, over a coffee or a meal. In some circumstances it can be preferable over using the formal office environment. I think the point that some of us are trying to make is that "other customers" should not be so completely inconsiderate and anti-social that they think it's OK for the activities of their darling children to disrupt other customers. That is regardless of why the other customers are in the restaurant, be it business, sadness or happiness.

Nothing silly about it at all.

Unless the business deals are so fragile that another customer can jeopardise them, which is what Lequeen said.

But you seem determined to misunderstand me.

Anyhting a parent fails to do consistently will result in badly behaved children. Call me old fashioned but if I am having a nice relaxing meal I don't want to hear children screaming or see them running around,

This thread is still going (and yes I have read it all now) but no new points being made by anyone unless you count the blossoming of a new, sarcastic bond between Fluff and LeQueen. I see even the OP has gone. And like the poster who reprimanded me for not reading the entire thread because it then becomes filled with people making the same points over and over again - well I see her point.

LeQueen you seem to be on a roundabout here that is not going anywhere. I still think its overly judgmental and ridiculous to impose such behaviour on toddlers but the stern Victorians among you are equally adament in your views. So in real life this would be the point where I would say we'll have to agree to disagree and I bid you and this thread adieu. See you at the coffee shop, I will be the one indulgently watching my wild childs run around narrowly missing treacherous dangers and sabotaging the great British industry (it wasn't the bankers to blame, it was the toddlers distracting them into making bad financial decisions). Frankly we could all do with less caffeine as it is very late to be up discussing such inanities and I should have gone to bed ages ago, hence the need for caffeine tomorrow and we are back on the roundabout.

LeQueen - I'm sorry, I can't engage with somebody who can't disagree without resorting to personal insults.

It is hilarious that you're so wound up about something so insignificant though

I never really took my lot to restaurants often when they were tiddlers. I just couldn't see the point in doing it for pleasure...but we did obviously have to go out to family meals etc..

If they needed to get down/were obviously bored one of us would take them for a little walk or play with them.

Whether children are sitting up at a table or not there is no need for them to be running around unsupervised.

And I think that I would probably have offended the OP's SIL by taking her boy off somewhere along with my own kids if he was being a handful.

I'm genuinely sorry you're so upset about the situation though LeQueen.

It's easy for me to have a different opinion on this because it's not my feelings or business at stake, but obviously it's different for you.

I'm sure it didn't reflect as badly on you as you think it may have though so I wouldn't worry too much.

I've been put off cafes completely by this post - all these screeching adults!

DD and I shall pack a picnic & go to the park (I'll get a take away coffee from Pret)

20 minutes too long to sit at the table?

How do they eat at home then? It takes mine longer than 20 minutes to finish their tea.

"And, frankly, your baby's nap isn't quite so important as a business deal that has the potential to affect the careers and lives of several people."

Snort!

Then go do it somewhere private you dimwit, that's the point she's making!