To be gobsmacked at his pocketmoney??

[VirtualPA]

My little brother (big age gap) is 16.

DH and I went to visit the family this weekend and it came up in conversation that he gets £50 a month pocket money. Half in a DD and half in cash.

I asked what he does for his money and apparently he washes the car every now and then.

I mean..... WOW! Thats a lot of money.

My DD will have to do set chores each day (such as loading the dishwasher) for her pocket money.

Or am I being unreasonable and this is the going rate now.

After reading this thread I have decided to change my ways slightly and it is already having an impact!!

As I said earlier my DS1 geet £160 a month. However his dad buys him is F1 magazine every week, pays for his phone top ups scouts, youth clubs etc etc etc.DH always makes sure DS has a few quid in his pocket -just in case.

I tend to buy him things pretty much when he wants eg He will show me a Joe Browns catalogue and say he likes a jacket and I will order it for him pretty much right away or he will come home with a letter from school saying there is a trip to wherever could he have £50 deposit for tomorrow and I have always made sure he gets it.

NOT ANYMORE!!

He has asked for a pair of Converse and a DC skiing jacket this week and I've said no, sorry not now!
He has brought a letter home needing £30 for his expedition trips and asked if he could take it in the following day. I've said he will have to wait till I get paid. Truth is he could have had it. I had money in my purse. I explained we had a holiday coming up and other things that needed to paid for. He just said OK gave me a kiss and said thanks anyway mum, it's no problem. (After I had lied to him - feel bad now)

All that said I was treated very very well as a child. My dad bought all my magazines, paid for my records and gigs and my mum got me some new clothes every Friday when she picked her wages up.

I don't think everything has to be a life lesson for DC but me and DH may have been a bit too soft.

Upahill - bless your Son for saying 'thanks anyway' very polite. Obviously he's not a spoilt brat

I do agree that not everything has to be a life lesson, too, and that they should have treats and have a happy childhood, but I think money is one big thing and for when they move out (sob), they need to know how to budget and and when to say no to a night out or a shopping trip!

I want my girls to have nice memories of their childhood and not have felt like they were constantly being nagged about money but me and DD1 have already had a bit of a 'money doesn't grow on trees' convo... when she was after a fairly expensive toy and we had already had a nice day out etc. I simply said that if we spent money on toys and special treats all the time then it wouldn't be as special when we did, and that Dad and Mum have to spend money on less exciting things too. As far as I know that went down well and she's taken it on herself to ask if she could maybe have 'insert toy or treat' for a special treat on her birthday, for instance.

I think that young ones need to know fairly early on, also, that mosty children around the world don't get money to spend on nice things. I mean, my parents never exactly laid it on thick like we were responsible or something, but just made us more aware of how many nice things we did have compared to so many. I think that encouraging them to give stuff to charity shops and shop in them is a good way of doing this and keeping your house clutter free too...

Me and DS go on holiday a lot by ourselves. One thing that I have started doing is laying out the cash in front of them once we have got there and said 'Ok this is how much we have for the week/10 days/ whatever.

So we have to pay for the taxi to take us back to the airport - that is 100 Euros and I then put that to one side, then I say we want to do go on such a trip that cost 150 Euros for all of us and I then put that to one side. DS1 You wnat to go rock climbing that is 50 euros.... and so on. Then with what is left I say this is how much we have for the rest of the holiday.

Now that was a lesson in budgeting. ( I never mention that I have a debit card for back up - they don't need to know everything!!)

upahill well done, clothes and magazines and trips are stuff he could easily pay out of that money. you'll be surprised how they change when they're made to budget!

When I was at school I got £40 a month, and this was 1994.

This seemed a fortune to many of my friends, but I had to fund my living expenses, from clothes to hairspray to shoes to eating out to busfares (school was walkable and parents saw no 'need' for me to go anywhere else) and if I couldn't be arsed to make myself a packed lunch, I had to pay for my school meal too.

And it taught me the value of money. All of a sudden, Oxfam was "the place where money for illicit beer and fags can be saved", and Mecdonalds became "Sod that, Mum's just been shopping!"