To be gobsmacked at his pocketmoney??

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My little brother (big age gap) is 16.

DH and I went to visit the family this weekend and it came up in conversation that he gets £50 a month pocket money. Half in a DD and half in cash.

I asked what he does for his money and apparently he washes the car every now and then.

I mean..... WOW! Thats a lot of money.

My DD will have to do set chores each day (such as loading the dishwasher) for her pocket money.

Or am I being unreasonable and this is the going rate now.

I give ten year old DSD and 12 year old DSS up to £5 a week. For £3 they have to do homework/be organised for school and older one has to have no detentions for the week. For a further £2 they have to do some chores at the weekend between them they do two chores each a day on Saturday and Sunday. I thought it was a good idea, but DSS is a nightmare and has only managed 2 weeks out of about 10 weeks where he's earned the £3 as he continues to get detentions (and worse); and neither of them earned the £2 at the weekend because they did such poor jobs (and didn't do all of them) on the chores.

On top of that we pay for clothes, days out, horse riding etc.

I think it's important that they earn the money rather than get given it, but mine don't seem that bothered if they don't earn it, and am wondering if the chores should go towards the horseriding etc instead.

DD1, 14, gets £2.50 a week which she spends on sweets usually. Plus a part time job which pays about £8 a week( half of this is being saved up for a school visit to China next year).
I pay for her dance lessons, horse riding lessons, most of her clothes, phone contract, and cinema tickets or treats on day outs. All in all she gets about £70 a month. If I gave her the cash she would spend it on rubbish so until she gets a bit more careful I will keep it this way.

It does seem a lot especially as at her age I was getting no pocket money from my Mum as she was always skint. Sometimes we would see my Dad and get some but it was never regular

I really don't see why some parents are so smug about not giving pocket money when it is pretty obvious that they pay for the same leisure activities/clothes etc that their children would otherwise have to pay for out of same pocket money. All it means is the children don't have to practise budgeting.

My db and SIL looked very pleased with themselves when they told me their son never gets any pocket money (as opposed to my spoilt and pampered offspring). And looked somewhat taken aback when their son piped up with "well, you buy me everything I want anyway". It is certainly true that their son does have more things and leisure activities than my dcs can afford out of their pocket money: he just doesn't have to worry his head about saving up for them.

Totally agree Cory DD's friend gets £5 a week plus wages and pays for everything herself. She pays her own dance lessons and exams, her cinema tickets, her clothes and most of her activities. She thinks my DD is spoilt as she asks for her dance money every week.
We will start giving her more responsibility and a chance to budget, she is starting to with the China money. If she doesn't save enough by the end of the year then we will take all her wages to make the rest up.

And it gives them the ability to manage their own money too. I think it was clothes that led to our giving our teenage girls £50 a month and that worked better than constant requests can I have XYZ jeans. The amounts themselves don't matter as some families will be at completely different income levels than others and there will always be some with a lot more money than others. Most teenagers like having some money they don't have to beg to get and can spend as they choose. Of course it's hard to pitch these things at the right level depending on family income and also what their peers have a school and that depends again on the type of school and peer group you've chosen for them.

The weekly allowance at university worked well though as they could never say they'd run out of money as the next week's was then coming.

Oooh look, one of my hobby horses that I can gallop round a bit!

I think that children/teens should have some money - you can't really function in society without it. I don"t think it really matters whether it's £80 a month and they have to buy everything, or £20 a month and the parents buy most stuff on top. For me, the crucial thing is that isn't "chore' related. I think that all the members of a family should contribute to keeping the family community going, and that means doing jobs that need doing, that you are able to do, starting with setting the table, for example, and moving on until they can cook meals. I don't think this should be related at all to money - you set the table because it's time to eat, and someone else is cooking, not because you are getting paid for it. You take the bins out becaause otherwise the home is smelly and unpleasant, not because you get paid for it. You walk the dog because it needs a walk, not becausue......and so on and so on.

To add to the data, my dd is 14. I give her £20 a month, and she earns another 15. I buy all the essentials, and she can use family shampoo and so on - if she wants expensive stuff speciallly for red heads or something she buys her own. Basic clothes and school stuff I buy - anything else she buys.

My DD is almost 13 and gets £5 a week pocket money regardless and £50 mth allowance.( for this she has to clean her room and bathroom thoroughly weekly and change her bed , as well as helping me around the house vacuuming, loading the dishwasher etc) Out of the £50 she is expected to pay for her beauty products,clothes ( apart from essential underwear, uniform , PJ's etc that we buy) trips to cinema etc , and her friends birthday gifts etc.
We decided just recently to give her the £50 to teach her about manageing her money as we were forking out for the other goodies too. I have noticed that the jacket that she "needs" from Topshop has become less vital now she has to pay for this sort of thing for herself.
It seems like a lot of money but compared to her friends parents who seem to fork out £20 a week or so- and constant trips to Hollister and the like it is not bad. She is a good kid and I really think it has helped her to manage better. She also cat sits for my sister if they are away and earns a bit more there.

Riven What about stuff like music lessons/sports clubs/swimming/drama etc if they do or have done things like that in the past?

What about haircuts? Although I bet a lot of boys would rather go around looking all unkempt, squinting through the masses of hair that covers their eyes than spend their own pocket money on a haircut.

DD is fifteen and now gets £40 per month allowance.
From this I expect her to pay for everything she wants, be that clothes, food, train tickets, whatever.
She also works for us on occasional weekends and gets paid the going rate for the hourse she puts in, therefore more hours = more money.
She has become very careful with her money, budgeting sensibly and keen to put herself forward for work to earn extra. She loves having the freedom of her own money and has surprised me with how well she manages it. I wish I had done this sooner because when I paid for everything she needed, she had no idea of the value of money at all.

DS(17) gets FA plus what he earns working a few hours. He pays for clothes, social life and music lessons (fortnightly) out of that. No way could he afford driving lessons but neither can half his friends so that if not a pressure at the moment. He does manage to save a bit.
DD(13) gets £30 per month- pocket money- has to cover phone but nothing else.

Chores are part of family life and not paid for here, unless over and above the call of duty like cleaning the car.

I think a lot depends on what standards they feel they have to keep up with, re their friends.

Around here OP's brother would have just about the going rate.

I used to get £10 a week (I am 30 so quite a while ago) but my parents only bought absolute neccesities everything else, including my hobbies (riding lessons at the time) came out of my money so I had to budget quite carefully, my riding lessons were £6.50 a time and of course I always wanted a few new bits of clothing that I didn't really need so came out of my money.
I guess it depends what you consider pocket money for and what you are willing to buy for them out of your pocket.

I never really had a set amount of pocket money, but we could earn money by doing stuff around the house/farm that wasn't part of our standard chores IFSWIM?

I also used to mow lawns/wash cars for neighbours and when I was old enough got a job in a department store after school.

Was always quite flush.

Doing the same with DS. He has jobs around the house, i.e. keeping his room manageable, sorting the washing that are just his stuff and then he has the option of doing extra stuff which I will pay him for, looks out at weed free paving stones that cost a mere 5pounds to obtain. Something about Star Wars Lego was the reason he wants to earn some extra.

Am quite proud my 6yo can negotiate so well.

I think that is very generous. I am only 26, but when I turned 16 I had to get a weekend job (and wanted to for my own independence). Even before this I worked in cafes for cash so never had to ask parents for much. My mum was by herself and couldn't have afforded to pay our mobile bills etc and money issues between my mum and dad really were touchy so I didn't want to get involved. I also had two younger brothers so helped out a lot at home.

However, I think times have changed now kids go out a lot more and are expected to keep up with fashion etc. Expecting dc1 at the moment I have no idea how we are going to keep up!

Don't think it's excessive. My DD gets her maintenance paid into her account £60 a month, yes I know not much. I also give her day to day money and buy everything for her. Treat her to meals out, clothes etc. She used to have a saturday job but got laid off and she very rarely asked me for money when she was earning.

Once exams are out of the way she will get some work again and we are applying for EMA next year. TBH I struggle to keep up atm.

My ds will get what ever amount of money is relative to the lifestyle that I want him to lead. I will not be giving little or no pocket money and then paying for the majoriity of things seperately - it's no way to teach him the value of money. Any amount he gets will be what he has for that month (obv I will pay for food and school uniform). If it runs out before he's got everything he wanted, tough, he'll have to wait until his next lot, just like me!
Pocket money will not be earnt through chores etc - he will be doing that because he lives in the house and has to do his part. It's not 'money for nothing', he's going to be working hard at school, if he doesn't, he won't get any!

I really don't agree with giving them rediculous amounts (£600???!!!), it has to be a realistic amount - the type of money that people actually earn and have to live off in the real world.

I got about £25 20 years ago. I also had a saturday job. That just about kept me in beer and weed.

Riven DS2 is under 16 isn't he? Does he have to pay for the same stuff as DS1 or do you pay for some stuff for DS2 that DS1 pays for himself cos he is older?

DS1 gets £80 a month ( £20 per week)

It is on the understanding that he buys everything himself.
Funnily enough though I buy all his clothes , his dad pays for his phone and we usually give him extra if he is going out .

Then we wondered how he could afford to take his girlfriend to Paris for their anniversary

We are twats

Abouteve, i hope you dont mind me asking, but if you are buying your daughters clothes and meals out, and giving her money on a daily basis on top of that £60, what is that £60 being used for? you sound quite down that this is all that you can give her, and you are giving her quite a lot! cut yourself some slack
also when EMA comes along you can stop paying her, it helps enormously, my two were lucky enough to get it and thats how they paid for their lunches and certain school supplies.