or is this gender stereotyping gone mad?

[NarabugHitWindscreen]

I was in ELC yesterday and browsing the wonderful Happyland stuff. A mum with a little boy (2 at a guess) was browsing around, and looking at the storage boxes that go with Happyland stuff. She asks the shop assistant whether there is a 'boys' one.

Basically there is a pink fairy girly one, a space one (that she didn't want) and a generic one that looks like this this

Shop assistant shows generic one, and the mum says "Thats not for boys, it has flowers on"

I'm a bit clueless (as I'm a mum to a DD) and I know its none of my business, but I'm just curious - are mums with boys perturbed by unisex toys with flowers on etc?

Another e.g. apparently when my ex was a little boy he wanted a plastic tea set, but his dad refused to let anyone buy him one. If DD wanted a boyish toy I'd get it for her.

Just spit-balling for opinions, please don't roast me!

I hate that everything at the ELC has to come in two colours.

Saying that, I have a boy and when we go to the playground, all the kids borrow each others stuff and he's always the one to take some little girl's hot pink buggy and go off round the playground with it so clearly the message has been lost on him!

DH's reputation with the other playground Dads is ruined...

Great to hear everyone's thoughts. Would love to continue this chat live on BBC Breakfast tomorrow morning, if any of you are keen and live relatively close to London, please let me know - [email protected]. Thanks.

Fascinating thread. FranSanDisco I'm going to stalk you on MN now, As my name suggests I have a soft spot for this subject :o

Anyway, gender stereotyping drives me nuts at this level. When you see parents snatching toys off their kids because they are for the wrong gender FFS.

DH and I had a giggle this morning when we noticed DD 3.4 was playing with her train set, and DS 1.2 was playing with a toy baby giving it kisses and cuddles!

As an aside, I'm particularly glad that at DD's daycare setting there is actually a MAN working there. I think it's great - it is so important and IMO the lack of males in nurturing professions is a vicious cycle. Boys grow up without male role models at school (or home sometimes) so of course they are more likely to reject the idea of looking after children as a job.

dgs [4 and 20mths] have a wendy house with kitchen and cooking/cleaning stuff.All are much loved by friends of both genders aged up to about 9!

YANB at all U.

The whole thing's utterly futile, anyway.

Boys playing with traditionally girls toys is not going to make them gay, any more than taking them off them will stop them being gay, if that's what they are.

You think we've come such a long way on terms of, f'instance, acceptance of gay people, and then you realise how far we still have to go. :(

Looks like a good book :)

When DS1 was little his favourite colour was pink and when he grew up wanted to be a princess. When he went to school he changed and stopped wearing an old bridesmaid dress for dressing up and we had to redecorate his bedroom (no more pink and yellow flowers)

Both DS1 and DS2 have had wendy houses, kitchens,dolls etc to play with.

DS1 (10) does ballroom dancing and when he started last year got lots of comments from boys in his class, he however loves it and thinks that in a few years his friends will be jealous as he gets to dance with lots of girls . He also plays rugby and football and does not see it as any different.

People ask me if having 2 boys I miss having a girl to go shopping with - I tell them that my boys are fab at shopping with me and give me their opinions on things I buy (if sometimes a little too honest!) I am bringing them up to be good husbands (if thats what they choose to become)

My son when he was four wanted a Barbie, I bought him one too!

Can someone explain the abbreviations please, what is dd, what is ds1 and ds2?

I've been spending quite a lot of time lately explaining to my DD(3) that things are just things - they are not for boys or girls, they are for everyone. She's suddenly started talking about things being for boys or girls and I know it actually comes from the older boys at nursery. They have commented that her "indoor shoes" are boys' shoes (they are - they're from Next and have crocodile teeth, she loves them), etc.

I tried really hard to get DD toys in primary colours rather than pink and managed quite well but recently ELC in particular seem to have made this more difficult - it's either blue or pink. DD has toy cars, a garage, footballs and all sorts of "boys" toys. She loves the toy cars just as much as her dolls. She's also got a great toy tractor (red) and I love seeing her on that.

Having said that, I'm aware that I'm moulding her into my preferences for cars, etc, rather than babies so, again, it's nurture not nature...

I was really chuffed with DH the other day. He's not macho in general but is totally mad about football. I asked if he'd mind DS doing dance or similar one day, he said "not at all! You have to be really fit to be a dancer" :)

Basically he doesn't care what sport DS gets into, so long as he finds something - same with DD. We want them to enjoy sport because of the discipline and fitness, who cares if it's the 'right' sport?

This really bugs me even though I don't have kids yet. Was with my boyfriend buying xmas presents in Toys R Us. In the toddler section they had bath toys. The "boys" version had fun toys and a slide and I think even a pirate. The "girls" version had a toy washing machine with detergent. Boys can have fun but girls should know their place and get the laundry done first! This toy was aimed at two year olds, and each version had a photo of a little boy or little girl on the box. The pink aisle for older girls is nauseating. Pink Jenga? Why?
ELC should be ashamed, they are meant to be an educational shop.

The whole thing is very odd because I'll bet these mums who are so worried about their ds playing with 'girls' toys are moaning about their dhs not pulling their weight

DS has lots of girls toys (has 2 older sisters!). He will normally gravitate towards trucks and cars but will also happily play with a doll or do some ironing. The only time I am a little is when he tries to bf his dolly!

The one with house, road and garden on it?? looks pretty inoffensive to me. Pink ones bit naff ditto space ship.

My boy likes pink, and purple, and yellow and red.... but would probably chose the space theme box of those 3.

I'm not sure why ELC haven't taken action after there has been so much publicity around Pink Stinks etc. They STILL insist on making pink everything.

Can only imagine there must be vast numbers of parents who do buy it and would complain if it was removed.

I'm not totally against pink btw, wouldn't want to go so far as to ban it, but in ELC I normally buy the blue version if it's available.