... to think that a 5 year old looking after a 3 year old is a bit dodgy?

[joannabaranna]

Just found a very slight acquaintance's 2 kids (5 and 3!) playing in the street with their front door open. Said their dad had just gone out to the car and they'd been waiting for him to get back. They trotted off to the car park to look for him (leaving the front door wide open) but he was nowhere in sight. My 2 year old started playing with them on the pavement and I asked the 5 year old whether he had any older brothers, sisters, mum etc at home - no, mum was away and he was the oldest. After about 25 minutes I thought I'd leave a note on the door for the dad and take them to our house just up the street for tea (it was 6pm). They got me a paper and pen and I left a short note saying "Kids are at [address] - they weren't sure where you were - found them in the street!" As I was leaving the note on the door the dad got back, pretty pissed off to see me there, tore the note off the door and said "he knows he's not supposed to go out of the front door". House, by the way, was a tip. He had told them he was going out to the car and had gone to the shops instead.

I'm inclined not to do anything about it but it makes me uncomfortable... Any thoughts?

Yes agree to disagree - In this particular scenario where the kids were clearly put at real risk and were vulnerable I personally think it is more responsible to safeguard using the official channels rather than leaving it to chance; which it is, after all, taking a chance that this unknown mother would be any sort of protective factor in her kids lives.

someone who leaves two kids alone unlikely self-refer to sw duty team

No, I am not making that assumption, mrsbean. I am simply not ruling it out, as the Call-SS-Immediately brigade appear to do.

As for being accused of being sexist, I feel that this discussion is now entering late night realms of unreality!

And - in the nicest possible way, nigh - who are you to judge? You tell her, and based on your judgement you then decide, oh that's ok I don't need to contact SS now? On what grounds/evidence? Far better imo to let those who can gather the facts, and see for themselves, make these sort of judgements.

huh? nobody has said that SS is not legitimate!

this thread is getting unreal now. I will leave you to agree with yourselves.

sleeping - I guess you need to live in a real community, as I do, to answer that question.

i am happy to call sw any safeguarding concern. pejorative terms such as "Call-SS-Immediately brigade" hell yes count me in as a card carrying member

i dont have any qualms - child protection i have no problemo making that call

just wish more would call ss

interesting that you think you know what kind of community I live/have lived in. How interesting. Could that be a little assumption there do you think?

sniping about assumptions = thread lost the plot. Good night all.

The reason I said that it was sexist is that you are assuming a benevolent lack of understanding about childcare on the part of the father e.g. "ah men, what would they know?", assuming that the man couldn't be trusted to take care of his own children when ordinarily they would be taken care of by a right-thinking mother.

It is not for you to rule in or rule out. The reason that SS exists is to stop children being abused, neglected or put at risk. These children are put at risk. It really doesn't matter what potential scenarios we dream up. This man did something dangerous, the OP witnessed it and it needs to be reported. I think you don't seem to think it's that serious a thing to have happened.. but to me, the fact that a 5 year old wandered out of a house and was unaware that his father wasn't on the property - and the father's reaction to the OP taking the children to her house - is very worrying and certainly suggestive of deeper issues.

and to be honest nigh - you can't argue the position that your approach to this CP issue is not assumptive and based on lack of evidence, when you're making such assumptive and wild statements to me like - "I guess you need to live in a real community, as I do, to answer that question." You are not strengthening a sensible point of view here

'sniping about assumptions'....or I think most would see it as calling you on a ridiculous statement based on absolutely no knowledge.

nigh you are making wild and daft statements any ole way to substantiate your weak position.some nuggets bout comunity few obvious statements about sw busybodies. my my a plethora of clichés.ahhhhh community saying nowt dontcha just love it

what next,you keep your back door open and know all your neigbhours

No nighby? Not a fan of te 'rude clubs'?
I found your comment tremedously rude toward me
As if to imply I was.
You are missing the point and picking up on the way in which she said it.
Not worth the time you took to labour the point

Having now had a mo to read through, I see you did not stop at jumping down scottish mummies throat, you went for the lot.
Dear oh dear.
I think you should have gone to bed sooner.

I'm not a member of any 'brigade' - I have never had cause to call SS in my life and don't think I've even recommended doing so online either, despite sometimes seeing/hearing about parents doing things in a way I wouldn't necessarily agree with.

I AM a member of a 'real' community though. I know most of the people on my street reasonably well. In a close knit community - like mine - if I saw kids of a similar age wandering around unattended I would know the parents well enough to be able to judge if it was a one off and I should just offer help/keep an eye out. The OP DOESN'T know the mum in question reasonably well though does she? She refers to her as a 'very slight aquaintance' so all this talk of community is irrelevant. In those circumstances it needs someone to go and have a nosy round...she's not the person to do that - she's not qualified and doesn't know the parents well enough to assess the situation properly.

"He had told them he was going out to the car and had gone to the shops instead."

He thinks it's ok to do that???
Leaving them alone in the house = bad enough.
Not even locking the front door = insane.

I don't know what the circumstances are, and I don't care.

You should call SS.

OP what are you going to do?

Nighbynight has a perfectly valid opinion. No need to gang up on her.

I'm going to call the NSPCC and give them all the details. Spoke to an operator earlier who said it definitely needed looking into. I think they will be able to take the appropriate action to make sure the family gets the support it may need at the moment. Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts.

You are doing the right thing Joannabanana

thanks blueshoes. what a lot of nasty messages.

The NSPCC will pass
it on to Social Services without doing anything. Make sure they take ALL the relevant details, or even better, phone Social Services yourself and cut out the (expert fundraisers and self promoters) NSPCC.

Harsh on NSPCC - who in the end are just giving advice. They don't usually get involved in casework now anyway.

Used to be a SW. OP - maybe you should have gone to SS first but you have reported it so well done.

I know countless stories and real life cases of neighbours giving the benefit of the doubt - that have ended badly. Better a pissed of neighbour than an injured child - or worse.

Nighbynight,You have been nasty and personal to many on this thread.It seems you can give it but can not take it.