Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to not want to provide two meats for fussy eater at dinner party?

94 replies

Pinkmarshmallow · 14/05/2010 13:31

DH's big birthday next week,I've inited all his family over for a meal that night. MIL asked what I'm making so told her I plan on roast X. BIL apparantly won't eat X so she insists I must also cook a Roast Y to cater for him.... I think it's ridiculous to cook to roasts. He's a grown man, he can politely refuse it IMO and just eat veg...and dessert and birthday cake. It's not like he'll go hungry or anything. AIBU? Is MIL right? (She's the type of person who has a choice of about 4 desserts when there are only 4 people over for dinner.) Aaarrrgghhh.....

OP posts:

CharlotteYorkGoldenblatt · 14/05/2010 21:06

I never understand when people don't like lamb! Can I come instead and have his

Oblomov · 14/05/2010 21:19

Actually for a big party i think it is unreasonable to offer only one choice. i love lamb , bu not everyone does. not everyone likes lamb, beef or chicken.
i would always offer 2.

Elasticwoman · 14/05/2010 21:19

Pinkmarshmallow - I think it's v rude of people to want to dictate what you should cook. Totally agree they should either eat or leave what's on offer and not ask for something different.

I'd be inclined to cancel dinner party and go to restaurant.

worldgonemad72 · 14/05/2010 22:36

my dh nan hates lamb, i just buy her a single pork chop when im cooking lamb, i wouldn't intentionally serve anyone something they didn't like. She appreciates the gesture and always says you shouldn't have...maybe she doesn't like pork chops either lol

mybabywakesupsinging · 14/05/2010 22:46

I would do something else for him - chicken breast, or something...or cook a small chicken as well, can always use up chicken leftovers...

SmellsLikeTeenSweat · 14/05/2010 22:53

I would do what I do at home when there's meat that someone doesn't like - have a packet of ham available. He can have all the veg etc. with some sliced ham. Your MIL is out of order.

I don't like lamb, but I would never ask for something else instead. MIL often cooks beef when we're there even though she knows I don't like it. . So I just don't eat it

zipzap · 14/05/2010 23:08

If MIL has asked you to cook an entire different roast for your bil rather than just a chop, do you think she might have a bigger agenda - ie that she doesn't like lamb either and wants to have something different too?

What would she have said if you had just said you hadn't yet decided or just said you were going to make 'dh's favourite' or 'dh's request' - do you think she would have still told you that you shouldn't do lamb?

Depending on your kitchen set up, cooking 2 joints can be a completely different experience if you don't have the space to cook them all together (or have to compromise on roast potatos and parsnips, yorkshire puds etc). Lots more hassle which is not really what you want when you are in the middle of cooking for lots for a birthday party. Not to mention I always think the smell of 2 different meats cooking together is never as nice as the smell of a single roast cooking but that's probably just me .

Likewise, think trying to cook a nice steak while trying to sort out serving everything else out for the others is a pain you can do without.

COld meat from deli counter (or even ready cooked chicken breast) to zap at last minute for bil does sound an easy solution - especially as you can say that if bil really is that precious about eating lamb then you didn't want to cook anything in the same oven as the lamb in case he still couldn't eat it

SeaTrek · 15/05/2010 09:32

Definately don't do two roasts.

I would stick to your original plan, but do provide him with something. Maybe a chicken breast you could pop in the oven whilst the main meat is resting.

bronze · 15/05/2010 09:39

interesting how many people would do something different yet threads on children who won't eat a meal given to them run entirely differently
Op do what you want

purepurple · 15/05/2010 09:43

I agree with a chicken breast, but as you serve it shout very loudly
"Right, who's the fussy one, then?"

DilysPrice · 15/05/2010 09:48

If you have been informed that one of your guests hates the meal that you have chosen to cook for your convenience because it's what you happen to have in the freezer then it is good manners as a hostess to make other arrangements within reason. The fact that MIL has been really annoying about it should not affect your behaviour.
It would be the height of ill manners to deliberately make your guest feel uncomfortable about this by pointing out that they are being fussy or you are being put out. Put a chop/chicken leg in the oven and do not make a big thing about it.

Tryharder · 15/05/2010 09:52

I think YAB a bit U and a bit inflexible. If he doesn't like lamb then he doesn't like it! I would serve the lamb to everyone else and then as others have suggested, give him a chicken breast/leg or a pork chop - it wouldn't be any extra effort really to cook. He's a guest in your home - it would be rude to serve him something that you know in advance he doesn't like.

GrendelsMum · 15/05/2010 14:20

My DH would just like to say that for the last 10 years he has eaten the Sunday roasts that his in-laws have cooked for him, despite not liking it in the least, in order to not set a bad example to the DNs.

FairhairedandFrustrated · 15/05/2010 14:47

I think YAB a bit U.

Perhaps MIL only said something along the lines of, "Oh, you're making roast lamb? I don't think John likes roast lamb."

Same as my sister invited us on boxing day & I said I would bring a dish, what did she want...she said she knows dh doesn't eat duck and that's what they were having on Christmas/boxing day so could I do a roast beef or something.... easy. I made something dh would eat & everyone had some of it too.

I think it would be different if you didn't know BIL didn't eat lamb & served it unknowingly, but now you know he doesn't like lamb, it wouldn't be the hardest thing in the world to stick a couple of chicken fillets or some steak into a pyrex dish & roast it for him??

And as for thinking it would teach your dd to think she can order what she wants at a friends house - that's nonsense. Unless you're going to clear your throat and draw attention to the fact that you had to prepare something specific for your BIL.... which would be rather mean.

If you don't want BIL to feel welcome in your home then perhaps it's best not to invite him.

Butterpie · 15/05/2010 15:01

If someone has no real reason, they should either just not eat it and shit up about it or eat it. If you knew before you did the shopping then ok, but if you have already bought it, tough.

nighbynight · 15/05/2010 15:15

Can you make some stuffing with meat in, and he could have that?
I agree, it goes against the grain to cook 2 meals for a fussy eater.

Next time MIL asks what you're having....tell her its a birthday surprise!
She is definitely BU.

nighbynight · 15/05/2010 15:16

(I mean stuffing for the lamb, that everyone would eat.)

warthog · 15/05/2010 15:22

tis annoying and i'd hate for my kids to be like that.

i would still put a tray of pigs in blankets in the oven. can cook at same time as roast. everyone likes them, and he can just have more. or maybe set more aside for him specially. you will get mega-brownie points.

ronx · 15/05/2010 15:39

Don't do two roasts. You will be setting a precendent and will be expected to come up with different meals all the time.

Cook the lamb, but as knottylocks and warthog said, put aside some pigs in blankets.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread