to not want to provide two meats for fussy eater at dinner party?

[Pinkmarshmallow]

DH's big birthday next week,I've inited all his family over for a meal that night. MIL asked what I'm making so told her I plan on roast X. BIL apparantly won't eat X so she insists I must also cook a Roast Y to cater for him.... I think it's ridiculous to cook to roasts. He's a grown man, he can politely refuse it IMO and just eat veg...and dessert and birthday cake. It's not like he'll go hungry or anything. AIBU? Is MIL right? (She's the type of person who has a choice of about 4 desserts when there are only 4 people over for dinner.) Aaarrrgghhh.....

just do the lamb, and then get him a chop of something else. DONT DO TWO ROASTS.
a. his MOTHER asked you. is he a small child or a man?
b. who requests other food unless you are either allergic/intolerant/phobic of the entire meal? rude.

cook him a seperate chop. a small one. everyone's happy and there's no waste.

Can I come please? I'm the only person in my family who likes lamb so I rarely get to enjoy a lamb roast.

give him a sausage roll, greggs of course (even better if his name happened to BE Gregg)

oh and i speak as a fussy eater. if i dont like something at another persons house, il try my damn hardest to eat everything else, and just leave the bits i dont like. i wouldnt dream of asking for a different option unless there was one offered!

Oh, the amount of times FIL has to eat something other than what I've cooked! It's just because he doesn't know what it'll be like (once I made chicken and leek risotto - scary, eh?). To be fair he usually picks up pork pie etc in morrisons on the way!

Do the lamb, get a ready meal type roast for him. serves him right. But if i was your bil i'd be quite happy with a roast without the meat if you see what i mean - this is what my veggie sister does. Roast potatoes, yorkshire puds, lovely vegetables, stuffing - gorgeous meal in itself, without the meat!

I think there is something about lamb that provokes strong emotions! I love it, my DH hates it with a passion and would be ill if he ate it - its the only thing he wont eat.

But... if we were going to someone's house he wouldnt make a fuss he would just eat only the veg if he had to.

sorry double posted - no idea how i did that!

Pinkmarshmallow - glad to hear it. TBH, if you get me on my soap box I think it's indicative of the "I want, I want" attitude we all tend to have these days. I want a meal that I like, that I prefer. Although only in my 30s, I was brought up very much in the mindset of the 1940/50s of "if someone has cooked, you are grateful and eat what you are given. If you cannot possibly stomach it, eat what you can."

I find the need to pander to preferences (I will make an exception for vegetarians because it's a belief system, not just a like) odd. As I said, grumpy, grumpy, grumpy.

Lordy, how much extra effort would it be to chuck a chicken breast in the oven? To me, that's just being a good host -surely you want all guests to have an enjoyable meal?

Well, I guess to me it's not really about the 'extra effort', it's about the idea that you don't just accept the hospitality offered, but expect things to be altered to your personal taste. As I said, I'm very 1950s on this one, and I don't expect people to necessarily agree with me.

Same here ribena, and as a result there are very few foods I genuinely don't like. DH and his family are all fussy.

I probably would throw a chicken breast in the oven because I'm daft a big softie but you certainly shouldn't be expected to do so.

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way, and IF I provide another meat, DD will think it's ok to state her likes and dislikes at others' houses and think others will pander to her. I don't want her to be like that, expecting special treatment.

Letthereberock I'm also a bit of a big softie so will probably end up doing that. But will have to learn to put foot down at MIL & doing another whole roast.
*MadameDeathstare" that is unbelievable!

Yes mint, I see your point, I was thinking pink?s a bit stuck now she?s been ?told? isn?t she?

Bloody rude if you ask me.

"As your BIL has been rude by allowing his mother to pester you about his eating habits, you can diffuse the situation by buying him a steak (and telling your daughter that Uncle X is very cheeky asking for special food and that you hope she would never be rude like that)."

And hope that your DD points that out to your BIL while you are all having lunch

YANBU - people that fussy and ungrateful should not accept dinner invitations

Once upon a time people would go to dinner not knowing the menu and if it wasn't to their particular dietary satisfaction then they would try it to be polite to the host and then just eat the stuff they did like if there was something they really hated.

Now we seem to have too much input into what the host is doing... There was a hilarious thread about a dinner party and the drinks list the host was given.

Your BIL's day will not be ruined by him not getting a bit of meat. I am sure he will have a lovely time just being with you all and getting a decent plate of food put in front of him.

You could do a breast of chicken or chop or whatever for him but don't if it annoys you. Do what you want - you are in charge of the kitchen and it's not like you are serving up utter muck to be eaten.

Give him extra roast potatoes if he doesn't want any lamb.

Oh god YANBU at all. I'm still very pissy about the fact that MIL brought a THIRD type of meat to xmas dinner last year despite me already doing two myself. All of in-laws are the have selection of five desserts to cater for all possible desires. Weirdo's!

The thing that would piss me off (and did, when FIL overruled DD?s bday meal) is this day is supposed to be about your DH?s (big) birthday. And now it?s about BIL and his stupid ?dietary requirements?. It is the increase in food ?allergies? that?s to blame I think.

But does BIL know anything about this? Maybe your MIL is just saying it to appear like she knows best. Maybe he'd be mortified if he knew you were thinking of making 2 dishes?