to move DS from childminder over squash

[poppymouse]

I have told her I only want him to have water. He is 17 months and still drinks from a sippy cup. At home he has water through the day, and milk first thing and last thing. Yesterday I clocked that his cup had squash in it. She has said that he doesn't drink much if it is just water, but he does if it is squash. I think he will drink water if he is thirsty. He doesn't need squash. Am I over reacting to be thinking about looking into a nursery? It is big for me that she knows I don't want him to have it and gave it to him anyway. Sneaky doing this at work, so I'll come back when I get a chance and see what everyone thinks, can't stay on the site right now.

I used to work in a preschool and stopped buying squash. Milk or water only. Not one child complained or refused to drink it. Parents barely noticed.

YANBU, if you have specified to your CM to give your child water, she should fullfil your wish! I can't believe she

I have had the same issue with MIL when I only gave DD1 water as a toddler becuse my chairs were destroyed by older DS from spilling juice! She warned DD1 would not get her vitamins.

I saw the wisdom in my madness at their last visit to the dentist - DD1 has perfect teeth, while DS not so good. He was advised to cut down drastically on juice.

So there you have it, you have the right to ensure your son has perfect teeth - and your CM has no right to go against this!

would the childminder be as willing to flout a parents request if there were allergies or intolerances, etc?

it is a breech of trust - i would not be happy

DD reacted badly to the cheap and nasty squash she was given at nursery, made her go hyper, so we stopped her having it - the snack there was almost always a biscuit

at nursery DS went to it was fruit and water or milk - much better

YANBU

your child so your decision

juice in a sippy cup isn't great and whether it is fine or not is irrelevant really, you don't want him to have juice.

of course now he has had juice it will be harder to get him to go back to water.

Are you for real ?Think you need to chill tbh.

I dont let mine have squash either, what is the point? It is just water with sugar in it.She should not have done that without your permision, the trouble is now she has done that what other corners does she cut? I wouldnt be able to trust her, she is deceitful and unprofessional. She lied to you by ommission. It doesnt matter how trivial it seems she is wrong. you are paying her to care for your child.

OhExpletive - you asked who decided the child wasn't drinking enough - well, how is the OP supposed to know whether or not the child has drunk enough at the childminder's, when she's not there?

The childminder was, presumeably, aware of how much the child had drunk whilst in her care - so at that point, she'd have been better informed than the OP, because her data was more up-to-date. If she was worried about the child, then giving the child something different to drink doesn't seem so utterly unreasonable to me.

You do have to trust to your childminder's judgement at some point, surely? Is it realistic to expect the childminder to ring you over every small decision she makes during the day? Of course the childminder must not do something that would endanger a child, like giving them something they are allergic to - but giving a glass of weak squash isn't in the same league as giving a nut-allergic child a peanutbutter sandwich for their tea.

The childminder did go wrong, in my opinion, when she didn't discuss the issue with the OP on the first day it happened - that is a breakdown in communication, and that will erode trust between the parent and the childminder.

It depends how she said it. And how her general attidute is.

Was it like she had to use her own judgment or was it like 'f..off i'm in charge'?

I would say YANBU. Of course he drinks more ifits squash. Because children drink squash for the taste. They drink water for thirst. My children are 6 and 2 and will down a cup of squash when not particularly thirsty. They will only take what they need of water though.

She IBU going against what you ask. As for nursery giving squash, it doesn't happen at DS2's nursery.

I don't think its PFB at all.

my kids never drank squash
certainly not whne i am PAYING for someone to do as i say

If the childminder is offering squash for morning snack, lunchtime and afternoon tea then that is too much sugar, leading to tooth decay. I cannot say this often enough. There are stats somewhere stating that increasing numbers of young children are presenting with type II diabetes as a result of a sugary diet.

As a childminder she should know that processed sugary drinks have no place in any diet.

I would be furious.

Its not the squash but the loss of trust and overriding your concerns. If she had worries about him becoming dehydrated then she should have discussed it with you, i would forgive hher giving squash for one day and then discussing it at pick up.

My kids dont really have squash, i but one or two bottles of the rocks stuff in the summer as a treat but they are fine on milk/water/occassional juice. And they are both older.

What i meant in my post is that once the CM has given squash the children probably 'expect' it not that you can't give water at home.My ds never had squash mostly milk/water/occasional watered down juice.Now at 16 still drinks water at home and tea and coke in restaurants

I don't think your child minder should be giving him squash the exception to this is if we have a very hot day and he is getting dehydrated because he hasn't drunk enough but I think she should call you first. I had problems getting my child to sleep after my mil gave my dd squash with aspartame in it. (she had give it with my permission it did take a few day to realised that was why she wasn't sleeping properly. I would have a word

i don't think you are being unreasonable at all

regardless of whether squash is ok or not (i agree that it isn't!) it;s a blatant breach of trust

if you can't trust her on this then how will you trust her on other issues?

YANBU to be peeved. Mine will only drink water or milk and it's not quite child neglect However, if it's the ONLY issue that you have with his care, then i'd be tempted to have a word and see how things go. if she goes on to disregard your wishes a second time, I'd find someone who you can feel happy with, be that another CM or nursery. However one of the issues that we had with nursery was that 'tea' consisted on Kwik save crackers and value 'spread' - EVERY day

People would seriously expect to get phoned at work to ask if a thirsty child could have a drink of squash? I thought phone calls to work were for serious issues.

I am a CM and I would not give him squash anyway ... but even more so if you had specifically requested only water and milk.

I'm still reading everyone's posts, can't believe how many there are.

Pikelit, I like your compromise. I will check out alternatives. In the light of everyone's replies I don't think it is worth spoiling an otherwise good thing over this. I would be the wise one to find the compromise.

Thank you LadyintheRadiator, for your comment on "twattish" posts. TBH I posted in AIBU as that is what I look at most myself. I should really explore the rest of the site more.

Off to check out some compromises.

if you told the childminder not to and she did, then obviously thats an issue. that you need to take up with her.
but as has been mentioned, a lot of kids drink more if its squash over water. and better hydration is always a good thing