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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think there should be a telephone curfew in hospitals?

81 replies

LadyBiscuit · 12/05/2010 18:53

Why do hospitals allow patients to talk on the phone all day and all night? It drives me bonkers. There was a woman in the opposite bed when I had DS who talked virtually all night long which drove me slightly insane but at least she was talking quietly and of course there were wailing babes. But yesterday I went to see my sister who is in hospital and the woman next to her was on the phone the entire time I was there (nearly an hour) talking really loudly on her mobile the entire time. At 11.30pm she was still at it. So my sister asked her if she would desist given that, you know, they are all (presumably) seriously ill and that. The woman gave her a mouthful of abuse and carried on chatting away.

Eventually my sister went and asked a nurse if she could have a word and the nurse told her that there was nothing she could do. WTF?? AIBU or should phone conversations in hospitals have an 11pm curfew so that everyone can get some sleep (the person on the phone as well as the rest of the ward)?

OP posts:
runnybottom · 12/05/2010 18:59

I sat in the waiting roomhalf the night the night after ds3 was born, since the bitch in the bed next to me texted ALL night long, with full volume beeps and alerts, alternated with loud conversations about who was shagging who. I actually wanted to kill her.

When the doctor came round the next morning I overhead them talking, she was supposedly in because she had a headache so bad she couldn't even stand. My fucking arse she did.

Clearly I'm going with YANBU.

JaneS · 12/05/2010 19:02

When my granny was dying her son couldn't get to her so rang her. It was around 4am. I'm so sorry that might disturb anyone.

(Oh, and it lowered the volume of her screaming in pain for a bit while he talked to her, but I guess that's not too important.)

Original poster
LadyBiscuit · 12/05/2010 19:05

littlereddragon I think it's pretty clear I'm not talking about people dying (although my sister is but it's a dull long and slow death so she's not screaming or anything exciting).

I'm talking about a room where the patient is making the calls because they're bored. Clearly your granny wasn't in a state to be constantly on the phone.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 12/05/2010 19:06

When I had DD2 a few months ago, the woman in the bed next to me woke me up with a series of phonecalls at two in the morning

They went on for an hour odd, and to say I was fucked off would be an understatement. Only the fact that I'd just had DD by c-sect stopped me going and punching her lights out (I'm very unreasonable when woken up by anybody but babies).

She didn't keep her voice down, didn't keep the conversations short, any other time and I'd be happy to ear wig on her convo and know the ins/outs of her life, but not at two in the morning.

So, no, YANBU.

Rockbird · 12/05/2010 19:06

Phones in hospitals are a good thing for those of us who had to be in there a while and were terrified. Being able to talk to my mother or DH was the only reason I came out with my sanity in tact.

I don't see how it's any different to using the fixed phone that are above the beds now. Of course you have to be sensible but a curfew is a a bit of a sledgehammer/nut.

runnybottom · 12/05/2010 19:06

Hardly the point of the post LittleRed, is it?

Disenchanted3 · 12/05/2010 19:07

YABU, after I had my son I was terrified at being alone in a wird place, so I called who I wanted, when I wanted to get reaasurance.

Theresnoplacelikehome · 12/05/2010 19:07

I know a strange fact about hospitals and mobile phones, although slightly off topic - it's one that drives me nuts.....

People who are in mental health units/institutions, are allowed to have their own mobile phones. Some of them repeated dial 999 for police or ambulance. Sometimes they may dial 40/50 times a night. Each and every time they dial the call taker has to speak to a member of staff before the call can be disregarded - even once it is known where the caller is calling from, so if the caller won't pass them over they have to hang up and dial the hospital and check to see if an amb is really needed. Many of these people are sectioned and have extreme mental health issues hence the constant hoax calls. BUT it is against their human rights to take their mobile phones off them.

My point being - there is no way they can enforce a rule stopping people in normal hospitals using their phones if this is allowed...

Maize · 12/05/2010 19:08

I work in a hospital, I do ask patients to keep it down after we turn the lights out and most are fine with it! So some of us do try

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 12/05/2010 19:09

No, it drove me mad too when I was in having DC2 and DC3 - it was like bloody Jeremy Kyle, with entire families camped out in the waiting room in the delivery suite (the same waiting room than labouring women had to wait in ) with phones going and non-news being transmitted across the region. Once I was into the ward it was the same - ffs. Can people honestly not live without a constant stream of texts and phone calls?

Portofino · 12/05/2010 19:09

When I dd they were banned on the ward. You had to go outside!

PixieOnaLeaf · 12/05/2010 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2010 19:10

What you just said Dragon reminded me of something I heard somewhere, can't remember where, of someone who kept pressing their buzzer in hospital, but it didn't get answered, and they were so lonely and frightened that they called 999 from their bed. I don't think the ambulance would come out to her though

Perhaps it's just social disapproval that's needed to stop inappropriate phone use in hospital rather than a ban, as it can be a lifeline for some people.

Original poster
LadyBiscuit · 12/05/2010 19:12

Rockbird, why is it a sledgehammer to crack a nut? My sister is very ill, that's why she's in hospital. You are putting your needs for reassurance above those of everyone else on the ward to get some sleep. If you're desperate (and I'm pretty sure my sister would rather be at home with her kids and DH than stuck in hospital) then go outside the ward to make a call, don't keep everyone else awake.

I'm glad to hear that Maize.

OP posts:
Portofino · 12/05/2010 19:13

Maisie, I spent 2 weeks on the Ante-Natal ward. It was an education! The family of the girl in the bed next to me pissed me right off. Every night - the whole family was there - they used to nick my visitors chairs so they could all sit round and watch TV. I felt like someone had set me up a hospital bed in their living room. No privacy at all.

chesgirlNOTgriffins · 12/05/2010 19:14

IME nurses will have a word with those using their phones selfishly.

But the trouble with hospitals is that there will always be selfish nobs who dont give a toss about the other patients.

I was on the children's oncology ward with DD once whilst a father and mother were having an argument about feck all. They were bickering and shouting all bloody night. Their little boy (who was actually dying) was begging them to stop.

The nurses couldnt really do anything. There were only two of them and they were pretty young and very busy.

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 12/05/2010 19:15

Agree LadyBiscuit. Why don't people respect other people's need for sleep and either not make the endless phone calls or go outside.

As usual though, there will always been ignorant, selfish people who have no regard for others, and it will be the nursing staff who have to take the flak and abuse for asking/telling someone to switch off their phone.

Fluffyone · 12/05/2010 19:17

How about a ban on mobile phones, but people can pay to use phones by their beds? Just a thought.
While we're on the subject, what happened to limiting the number of visitors at one time? I agree with Porotfino, patients shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable by being surrounded by someone else's loved ones. When my dad was in hospital I think the worst thing I saw was a loud family of I think 4 people, sat around their relative's bed eating fast food. While the old guy in the bed next door looked as if he wasn't going to last the night.

muggglewump · 12/05/2010 19:18

I just spent 12 days in hospital, and for most of that wasn't allowed to use my phone (high dependency unit followed by intensive care) and the hospital phones ate money so talking for longer than 2 minutes was not happening, and that was when there was one that worked (I couldn't get out of bed so had to have one wheeled to me)

I can see why you'd think it unreasonable, but really, I'd have killed to talk to someone at anytime, and particularly in the middle of the night which was the worst time.

I agree that loudly, and if they were being inane is probably inconsiderate though.

mamatomany · 12/05/2010 19:19

YANBU - on the one hand it's nice that people can chat and not be lonely whilst in hospital but they are generally places where sick people need to rest to recover.

abr1de · 12/05/2010 19:19

Dear God, how do you think we managed to be in 'strange' hospitals without mobiles, those of us who had babies before the latter were ubiquitous?

It's selfish and trashy to make non-essential calls late at night.

olderandwider · 12/05/2010 19:21

YANBU Surely a 10.30pm - 7am curfew is reasonable?

muggglewump · 12/05/2010 19:21

You need a phone by the bed to be able to pay for it!

I'd have settled for that, or an incoming call phone but none were available.

In fact, when I was ventilated and couldn't talk, they took my pen and paper away so I couldn't communicate at all

mangoandlime · 12/05/2010 19:22

Yanbu. Of course it's not on to be talking that loud at stupid o'clock. It comes down to respect for other people and 'doing the decent thing' Far too many people only think of themselves. No class.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 12/05/2010 19:22

D'you know, when I trained, there was one portable phone on the ward, and people survived just fine. Patients talked to eachother, and supported eachother, and the nursing staff talked to the patients and supported them.

And unless it had been exceptional circumstances (like letting a son who couldn't get to his dying mother's bedside speak to her), I'm pretty darn sure we wouldn't have taken the portable phone to someone's bedside once patients were going to sleep.

Getting a good night's rest is a vitally important part of recovering from an illness or operation, and to chat or text on your phone all night, keeping other people awake, is the height of selfishness, as far as I am concerned. If you want to use your phone, go to the dayroom and shut the door, so you don't disturb people.