to think CM's weight shouldn't be a deal breaker?

[Kariba29]

I have a DD who is nearly 5 months, i will be going back to work full time soon so have been looking and interviewing potential childminders, i have made my decision, and have decided on one lady, unfortunately DH is not keen , because he is worried as she is 'overweight' he is worried she will feed DD'the wrong kind of foods'

This (food/weight)is a very emotional topic in our house as DH was an overweight child and was bullied throughout school, unfortunately CM's DCs are also overweight,

I have suggested to DH that DD will take her own food to CM but DH is still not keen

However AIBU to think CM's weight shouldnt be a deal breaker for us to choose her as our CM?

Sloaney - there's a big difference between a chubby 6 month old and an overweight 6 year old!

It wouold be and has been a deal breaker for me - I spoke to a lovely lady on the phone before we moved house - took DS round to meet her and she sat on her bum and got her 9 year old daughter to go after the baby that was crawling out of the back door and then when she walked me round to the school to show me where she would have to go to collect DD one of her charges ran away and I had to go fetch them form the road as she couldn;t run after them.

End of it - no way would I let my child be looked after by someone they could out run - at 2 years of age anyway!

children should never be overweight. if they are then it's because they're overfed and under active - and, yes, that would put me off.

My CM is overweight but her children are skinny minnies as are her grandchildren. Like kew says, her weight wouldn't bother me but her kids' weight would.

I am currently a childminder (giving up at end of month) and I am also overweight, I have actually gained a lot since not working outside of the home and it is one of my reasons for giving up.

So, I would hope it hasn't put people off sending their children to me, it certainly doesn't seem to have.

However, and this I think is key, as an overweight person who knows what it's like to struggle losing it, I do all I can to ensure my own children and those I care for are given a healthy, balanced diet. I send a weekly menu home for parents to approve and all our meals are healthy. We only have one "treat" a week and that's Friday's. My own children are not overweight at all, my eldest (10) is average weight and my youngest (2.5) is actually slightly underweight as she is not a great eater and also very active.

Personally, an overweight cm would not put me off BUT I would be put off if her children were heading in the same direction as a result of what she is feeding them.

More importantly, I would never use a childcare provider that my DH didn't agree to.

"Missus84 no i didnt look at a menu as she said she didnt have one for a child as young as my DD"

I would still want to see what the older children are eating - your DD won't be a baby for long.

My dsis sent her dd to a CM who was slim but whose children were overweight. Her dd did gain a lot of weight because crisps, fizzy drinks and sweets were regularly handed out. My niece became slimmer when she moved to a new CM. It wasn't the reason she left the CM, btw.

what would put me off is overweight kids - like some ohter posters i do not eat that well myself when kids are in bed, but feed kids well and ensure they are not overweight, if her own kids are overweight, she may overfeed, for loads or harmless reasons, but not a good idea to send kids to her. do not blame hubby - if he was overweight as a kid, he will be all too aware of how it happens and will wnat o make sure he reduces risk to his kids,
equally, i know a freind who did not send kids to a childminder who she felt was too skinny on basis she did not look as if she was warm and enjoyed life! best bet is someone wihtin normal BMI who is likley to have( so far as one can ever tell) a balanced attitude to eating and food

I will admit, my CM isn't great with the healthy eating, she givse far more treats than I would, and by treats I mean sweets, crisps, froot shoots and the like.
She is, however, a lovely person, a good CM, very convenient, cheaper than others and now DD only goes for 25 minutes a day, in the morning before school, 3 times a week so she doesn't get food there at all.

When she was there for longer it did bother me a bit, but I figured she has healthy at home and she was still the best CM available to me.

Neither she or her children are particularly overweight, I just know they don't eat well really.

Actually, the issue of how nice and caring CM is, is prob just as important as food as you can try to regulate food ,whereas if she is actually unpleasant or just not very nice, could do more harm than the odd fruit shoot. My CM when i was a kid used to not let us in the house at all, stod outside reading library books in the rain, my mothre did not believe us and the CM was cheap and could do the hours she needed - warmth is the key thing

I wouldn't have an overweight CM as I would be worried about her ability to run around after my very quick 2 year old. I would also be worried about the food intake if her children are overweight.

I would look elsewhere.

Haha, thanks girls - its true - 6 months is way different to 6 years - way different - but it still makes me go eep for a sec. She got there on milk alone though so it really can't be neglect, if she were thin it would be neglect because the only way she would be thin if I left her to cry.

In a funny way I do agree that you shouldn't worry too much about a chubby childminder but a chubby childminder with chubby children might be more likely to impact the care - or it might not - but its more of a risk.

Arhgrrr.

My kids will not be overweight, they just wont. They might start out that way a bit but I'm too good a cook to let it happen (I know its not just that but I can make healthy food taste GOOOOOOOD)...

Back to the drawing board then

Sloany, I am a very good cook but ds2 is slightly chubby now, largely thanks to the freedom he now has to wander up to the shop by himself and select his own crappy food!

[groans]

Oh here we go....another fatty bashing thread thinly disguised as concern for health. It never ceases to amaze how nasty and prejudiced people can be against fat people and how that prejudice is allowed to go unchallenged. If the OP had written that her husband did not want their child to go to a black childminder because he was once mugged by a black person, would you all say it was OK? No of course you wouldn't!

So the childminder is fat? Is she otherwise the best candidate in terms of how she gets on with your DD, is her home the best environment, does she offer the best care in your opinion. Well, none of that clearly matters does it because SHE IS FAT AND THEREFORE NOTHING ELSE ABOUT HER MATTERS. You are jumping to the conclusion that this poor lady and her family survive on a diet of McDonalds and chocolate and that obviously, your DD if allowed to spend one minute in this household will be forcefed packets of biscuits in a wilful attempt to fatten her up because fat is catching isn't it?

FFS.

Nothing like being black though is it Tryharder - being overweight is bad for your health, and this childminder's children are also overweight, suggesting she isn't able to look after children's health. That's quite an important aspect of the job.

But Missus, you are making the assumption that because she is overweight, she is automatically unhealthy or about to drop dead any minute now from diabetes/heart attack/cancer. You could use that argument to make every overweight person in the country redundant! What about a thin childminder who smoked/drank or whose mother, grandmother and aunts had all died of breast cancer? How does the CM's weight bear on her ability to look after children - presumably Ofsted have not found a problem - unless of course, she weighed 60 stones and couldn't walk. Her children are apparently overweight? By how much? Are they just chubby - not everyone is naturally stick thin.

You say that this is nothing like being black. Er... well, I have to disagree. Judging someone for being fat i.e by their appearance is exactly the same as judging someone for the colour of their skin or indeed any other physical attribute. The only thing about racial prejudice is that it's socially unacceptable. We can all get away with hatred of fat people because we can deny it's the fat we dislike - we can disguise it as concern for their health

I am fairly conscious that I am going to change nobody's mind on this topic because I've been on mn a few years now and this kind of thread pops up every now and then with the same old responses.

I wouldn't use her as if she is that size then like others have said- low energy levels, bad diet etc

does anyone remember the fat nanny thread, that went on for aaages

I wouldn't be concerned about the CM being overweight at all, but if her DC were,that would be a deal breaker for me.
I wonder perhaps wheter your DH is just getting a bd vibe generally?

have to say I have just marshalled in a 10k and there were some very large people coming in in well under an hour.So i don't think fat necessarily meansd lack of energy or lazy!

feels very thankful that our CM did not provide food but asked us to send lunch in- thus any questions of her own diet became irrelevant.

Tryharder , 'your DD if allowed to spend one minute in this household is going to be force fed biscuits in an attempt to fatten her because fat is catching isnt it?'

No fat is not catching but if CM is overfeeding herself and her child the chances are she would do the same with my child as well who unfortunately because circumstances detect that i work full time will be spending more than just a minute in this womans house

To be honest intially i didnt think CMs weight mattered but as i look inot it more im beginning to think DH has a point