To be reluctant for DD to do ballet?

[RiverOfSleep]

DD (3.7) has asked me when she will go to ballet. I am not sure how she knows what ballet is other than she has seen her friend (same age) in ballet outfit and I think some girls from pre-school like to 'play ballet'.

I am not massively keen on out of school/pre-school activities anyway, although at some point I want the DCs to learn to swim, but thats about it as I don't want to be that family rushing from one activity to the next and spending a fortune in the process. If there was a hobby either DC really wanted to pursue though, I would try and sort it out.

My main issue with ballet though, is that I don't want DD to end up in some sort of beauty pageant weight obessessed anti-feminist sort of club... I never did ballet but I get this sort of impression - am I totally wrong?

She is naturally slim and I worry that in theory she is good 'ballet material' - stereotypical blonde haired blue eyed well coordinated little performer. (NONE of which she gets from me!!!!!) If she was clunky and chunky and likely to just do it for fun I wouldn't be so worried, but I have this fear of Miss Scary Spinster Ballet Lady pouncing on her and it being quite a pressured hobby.

Like I say, I am totally uninformed about ballet and would appreciate any advice.

Pixie - forgot to ask. Is your dd starting to reach a Saturday school in September while she is at school or taking Saturday classes with the ballet school? Just wondering as I used to teach a small class but that was hmm hmm years ago now and I just wondered how possible it is to set up in these days of health and safety etc in case my dd would like to do it in a few years! Either way, wel done to your dd and good luck!

meant to say "teach" a saturday class!

What's the "boys' equivalent" of ballet, in terms of classes? It seems to me that all the wee girls around here, and where my sister lives, are sent to ballet - many before they've ever heard of it, but boys don't seem to be sent to classes of anything in particular. Have IU just not noticed?

The boys version of ballet is ballet!! There is no reason why boys shouldn't take classes and the fact is that ballet companies need as many boys as they do girls! Most dance classes will have a few boys somewhere!

I can understand the stigma for boys so i guess they have to want to do it, though! You could always try telling them that it is good training for football (true!!) and there are other dance styles like street or tap that may be more attractive!

When my DD1 was almost 3 she starting asking about going to ballet because some of her friends did. I looked into it and discovered that there was a pre-school ballet class and a pre-school gymnastics class on my day off so asked which she'd prefer. Her answer was, "jumping and doing roly-polies". She's 5 and a half now and still goes to gymnastics (half of the children in her group are boys) but also goes to hip-hop/street dance where there is a good girl/boy mix.

However, the ballet queries have started again... probablymy fault in part for taking her to see various ballets and the Royal Opera House and for letting her know that I did ballet (adult beginners) throughout my pregnancy with her and for a year or so afterwards!

I'd prefer that she didn't end up at an over-pink ballet school but if she continues to express an interest in it then she'll probably drop hip-hop in favour of ballet. She's not a particularly girlie-girl so I doubt a weekly ballet lesson is going to turn her into a meek, mild, delicate child!

No, I didn't mean that boys couldn't do ballet - ds is 7mo, so it's not exactly an issue just now. But dd is 3.7, and all her friends seem to be starting ballet, and it just seems to be the "done" thing - you're a girl, therefore you do ballet classes, and there just doesn't seem to be the expectation that boys will do a particular class.

tbh, I'm hoping against hope that dd doesn't ask to do it - there's loads of other stuff that she can do locally, and that doesn't involve parental skills of making hair tidy...

YABU - my DD (3) has been doing ballet for a few months now and has so much fun (as do all the other girls). I wouldn't overthink it if I were you - its just a fun thing for them to do now and they want to dress up in all the gear and dance around with some friends.

The ballet teacher is lovely and not at all as you describe and we neither rush about to take her there or spend a fortune. Its just fun!

Whilst looking for something else, albeit ballet-related, I discovered that I posted on this thread 3 years ago!

The update re: DD1 (who is now 8 and a half) is that she gave up gymnastics just over a year ago having started ballet. She loves ballet, has just passed grade 1 with distinction and has been told she has the potential to become a professional dancer .

She's not turned into a meek, mild, delicate child and the ballet school she goes to is run by a very sensible, realistic and no-nonsense teacher. The parents aren't competitive because it's not that kind of place - it's about enjoying ballet and, for those who want to do exams etc., about doing it 'properly'.

I did ballet,tap and acrobatics at my dancing school up to the end of Primary School,and then gave up because my mum thought I wouldn't have time to do that and my homework when I started secondary.

I was the least 'ballet dancer shaped 'girl there, but I took my exams at the British Ballet Organisation ,in London, and managed on one occasion to come away with "Honours"! That was a real boost. I wish I had kept it up,but I don't think I would have got very much further with it,tbh. (Dodgy,locking knees in my teens!)

Fair enough about the rushing around and the cost but yabu about the beauty pageant point. My DDs nursery recommended it for coordination and she did it for 3 years - aged 3.5-6.5 stopped at the point they would start doing gradings. It's just a fun active after activity. No link ever made between ballet and beauty or weight.

Ballet's great. My DD (5) started in September. Admittedly the 'uniform' at her age is pink, but they move into blue, purple and black as they get more advanced. Although the girls do enjoy wearing pink tutus, there is absolutely no weight obsession or anything resembling a beauty pageant. It's about rhythm, control, movement, etc. It's so good for them and they do love it.

I did classical ballet at about the same age but stopped when my teacher got injured. Later on I took up dance again, doing jazz and contemporary. Even after a gap, the ballet I did stood me in good stead.

I tried to get my DS to do ballet, but he wouldn't.

My friend is a prima ballerina in London and she eats everything. Her body frame comes from loads of exercise 5 days a week in the gym and active lifestyle at weekends. I can say that ballet helps her in many areas of her life. She is very focused, determined, organised, disciplined and brilliant to work with as a team. Also she is the main earner in her household and her husband who also works full time shares 50% or more of everything that needs to be done. So very feminist too.

Judo?

YABVeryU

I still do ballet as a really absorbing hobby as an adult (I'm in my 40s and tending to be a bit heavy -- no anoroxia in my studio!), having danced in my teens, and I constantly meet women and men who wish that they'd learnt when they were younger. It's a skill and an art that's best learnt as a child so that your body gets the "muscle memory" of ballet. Lots of adults dance ballet and jazz etc as a hobby nowadays.

At 3 years old, she'll do "pre-ballet" or "baby ballet" -- which will mostly be "good toes, naughty toes" (pointing and flexing) and maybe some creative movement to music. She wouldn't do serious training until about 8 years old. And then ballet teaches you:
discipline
commitment
a sense of beauty
musicality
some useful history of the art form and of music

How could you deny those skills & joys to your DD if she truly takes to ballet? If she doesn't take to it, she'll lose interst & do something else.

And BTW, no real pro dancer is a "ballerina" unless she has achieved that rank in a company. And the pro dancers I know are fitter & stronger than rugby players or rowers.

It's a wonderful and exacting art, and gives physical strength, fitness and stamina. It's the basis of most other dance forms, and will give your daughter a set of physical skills that she can use all her life.

I wish people didn't have these silly preconceptions & prejudices about ballet (I Blame that stupid film Black Swan) -- it is better than most sports in terms of giving physical fitness and discipline.

Imo it is a big step (even for proud Mumsnetters) to imagine that attending ballet classes as a child will expose you to all the dangers of the industry.

A bit like worrying about your son joining the junior school football team because you don't want him caught up in the lifestyle of international footballers. For most of them, the risk is minimal

What ballet does do for many little girls, though, is to give them a lasting interest in the theatre and in classical music, which can lead to a lifetime of enjoyment, though for most the enjoyment will be as an audience, not as performers.

YABU! at that age its just a bit of fun, lots of skipping and running around with their little friends. Further down the line if they get more involved then its a whole new ball game but for most little ones its just another activity which many by the time they reach 10 will have given up.
My daughter started just for fun aged 3 and is now 20 and a professional ballet dancer. She is a very focused, driven, hard working girl who although is naturally tiny eats plenty and knows what she needs to eat to keep fit, strong and able to keep up with the incredible demands of this job.
"beauty pageant weight obessessed anti-feminist" she certainly isn't!
But at 3 it really is just a bit of fun!

Glad it all turned out ok! DSS does ballet and just joins in with all the girls, classes are split by ability, not gender.