To expect them to move?

[harimo]

OK...

I would really appreciate comments on this:

I have two young kids). I don't have a massive circle of friends or family where I live.

My will currently states that (should anything happen to me), my kids would go to my sister and her husband. They currently live 3-4 hours away.

I'm really happy with that.. she is my closest friend and biggest ally so I def. think she is best to look after my kids.

However, my son is due to start school next year and my daughter will follow the year after.

I'm currently considering moving a bit closer to them (but still 2-3 hours away) before the kids start school.

I want to write into my will that, once the kids start school, if anything should happen to me, I want them to move to the kids (they both have portable careers, and the house would be paid for)

AIBU to expect that?

FWIW, I don't really want my kids to grow up where they currently live...

I know that's all a bit morbid, but I'd appreciate PoVs before I talk to them.

Harimo

[Hullygully]

Oh Harimo, I'm sorry. We weren't laughing at the situation, just that particular line. It did sound funny.

[harimo]

Oh don't worry,I'm not really bothered. I did post in AIBU so knew what to expect.

Still abit at the 'are you dying?' comment though.

It's not really something you consider if you have no reason to think it will happen, is it????????????????

[brightyoungthing]

When my Nan died I was 11 and as my uncle ( Mums brother ) is disabled, me Mum Dad and sister moved into nans house to look after him.
2 weeks later my dad felt ill and it turned out he had pancreatic cancer and died 2 weeks after that.
Because he died while living at nans house my mum did not want to return to our old house so it stayed locked up with all our things inside, like a ghost house for 3 years before she had it re-decorated and we moved in.
It really helped us kids that we did not have reminders of dad around all the time, I think I would have lost my mind with grief if I had to see his coat hanging up or his tools in the shed every day.
Sometimes keeping things the same is not always the better option, I felt that I could deal with my grief almost from afar rather than having it thrown in my face at every turn.
Of course going back to the house was difficult, but as it had changed inside it was much more bearable.
Sorry-I should have said that the 2 houses are only 10 minutes drive from each other so we never had to change schools or anything, I just thought I'd share my experience with you to put another slant on things

[mumblechum]

It would be legally unenforceable. Your solicitor can insert a clause expressing your wish that they move house if reasonably practicable, but without imposing an obligation.

[SeaTrek]

WOW YABU!

You cannot dictate things like that from beyond the grave!

Be massively grateful that you have two lovely people who would be willing to adopt two children like that. If you haven't ask yet, realise that this in itself is a massive ask.

I presume you have the funds to support them, or insurance, if the worst happened until they are 18 or through university?

[TrillianAstra]

I agree with the post that said they will be better able to look after your children in a place where they have roots and a support network and are comfortable, rather than taking on your children and moving to a totally new area.

I very much disagree with this line, yt the way:
"It's not really something you consider if you have no reason to think it will happen, is it???????????????? "

Who would look after your children if you were to pass away is very important, and I think everyone should consider it, even if they don't think it likely to happen. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow, after all.

[harimo]

Thanks, Brightyoungthing, that is a good way of thinking of things.

[BritFish]

sorry harimo, wasnt trying to be flippant but that line was funny.
but yes, this is the sort of thing you consider even if you dont think it will happen, thats why you make a will even if you dont have reason to believe anything awful will happen prematurely...

[harimo]

No worries..

Alls fair in Love and AIBU!!!!!!!!!!