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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed at DH?

103 replies

AllyW · 08/05/2010 19:34

A few months ago my husband decided we needed a holiday this year - not just a week somewhere in UK but 3 wks in Florida - villa, Disney etc etc. Nice idea but last year we nearly lost the house and he was nearly made bankrupt. We are still struggling with money and I said this at the time. As usual he said "well I'll be the one out earning the money etc etc". I work 3 days a week as I am registered disabled with a mobility prob and also with 3 dcs under 6 it isn't financially viable to work each day.

I said at the time not to tell the kids so as not to disappoint them if it happens that e cant afford to pay that amount (almost £8,000!) . He told the DCs anyway and I have been driven made with questions about bloody Mickey Mouse and Co ever since. He has told me he has been paying bits off every few weeks. A registered letter came this morning saying the outstanding balance of £6,900 not been paid so the holiday has been cancelled.

I was really annoyed at the fact he has lied about not paying bits off and that I will have to tell the kids we're not going. (Also I have had to cancel an op that would have improved my mobility issues because of this trip.) I explained all this to him and he went off his head shouting saing that I am so negative and that I am so unreasonable!
He then went an told the DCs we are not going to Florida "cos mummy doesnt want to go and cos of mummy's leg!" Cue 3 pairs of doe-eyed cherubs looking like I'd taken their ice-creams from them. I am so mad at him and now he is moaning "Are you still in a mood? How long do I have to put up with this etc etc?"
AIBU?

OP posts:
Tortington · 08/05/2010 19:36

he sounds like a prize cunt

AllyW · 08/05/2010 19:38

So it's not just me then!

OP posts:
KnickKnack · 08/05/2010 19:39

custy sums it up nicely

tuarag · 08/05/2010 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Portofino · 08/05/2010 19:40

Now I have had to cancel holidays cos I couldn't afford them, but this takes the biscuit! How DARE he blame you!

Like Custy said! I would be telling him to piss right off!

rubyslippers · 08/05/2010 19:41

farking hell

what vile behaviour

so if he has been paying off the balance, where has that money gone?

£8k on a holiday when you have no money is beyond stupid

how DARE he blame you because of his health problems

sounds like he has no respect for you and no sense of responsibility

i would be utterly seething & probably be in a mood until next year

PollyTicks · 08/05/2010 19:41

He really does sound incredibly immature, and like he is in major denial about your financial situation. He has also lied to you, which is a big deal in my book.

I would be very upset and concerned about his behaviour if I were you.

HumphreyCobbler · 08/05/2010 19:43

That is unbelievably shit.

I agree with Custy.

How dare he say that to your dc

rubyslippers · 08/05/2010 19:43

tuarag - why the hostility to custardo?

i have seen her offer priceless advice over the years (i should save some of her threads for when my kids are teenagers)

anyhoo - am sure Custy is more than capable of defending herself

LynetteScavo · 08/05/2010 19:44

tuarag...I have read lots of useful contributions form Custardo over the years. What exactly does your post offer?

Prize cunt pretty much sums it up.

thehillsarealive · 08/05/2010 19:45

oh dear, that is totally irresponsible of your husband. Firstly to book an expensive holiday that you clearly cannot afford, secondly for telling the children about it when you said not to, thirdly he has wasted a grand and a bit on booking fees (probably) that you wont get back and lastly to then blame YOU for his inept handling of money.

I think this runs much deeper than booking a holiday to Disney and cancelling it. He has made you a scapegoat, you have cancelled a very important operation and basically like Custy said he is a prize twat!

I would be raging with him and actually if he is that stupid with money, i would take responsibility for the banking etc.

oh and btw - you can get a lovely luxury holiday in Florida, villa, car hire and tickets to DL etc for much much less than 8K.

LaurieFecktheToriesCake · 08/05/2010 19:47

I think 'prize cunt' is a useful contribution

on account of it being true

tuareg - you didn't offer the OP anything - did you just register to have a go at Custy? How about you offer the OP something.

GypsyMoth · 08/05/2010 19:47

i'd be more than annoyed...but i think there are deeper problems here

you not having much of an idea about family finances..
his attitude towards you
his attitude towards his children
he seems to resent your disability

HumphreyCobbler · 08/05/2010 19:48

Custy always sums these things up perfectly imo

skymoo · 08/05/2010 19:48

8 grand for a holiday...no wonder his financial affairs are in a state!

tuarag · 08/05/2010 19:48

tuarag...I have read lots of useful contributions form Custardo over the years

Really? How very odd. Just looked back at her posts, which I might add, mainly consist of nothing but obscenities. Everyone to their own, though.

AnnieLobeseder · 08/05/2010 19:49

Um, well, I agree with Custy. Prize cunt seems to cover all my feelings on the man. How fucking dare he screw up like that and then blame you! I can understand he might be feeling embarassed that it hasn't worked out, but that's no good reason to take it out on you.

Not sure I could stay with a man who is both so irresponsible and so disrepectful.

coppertop · 08/05/2010 19:50

YANBU. He sounds horrible.

AnnieLobeseder · 08/05/2010 19:51

btw tuarag - we all love Custy, and she loves us too... so much that she always snogs someone at the Christmas parties. I hope it's me this year!

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 08/05/2010 19:51

YANBU

Your H is a prick and you should kick him out to sleep in the garden shed for a while. You also need to tell the children it is not your fault. Git.

scurryfunge · 08/05/2010 19:52

Waht is your opinion on the post Tuarag?

tuarag · 08/05/2010 19:53

btw tuarag - we all love Custy, and she loves us too... so much that she always snogs someone at the Christmas parties. I hope it's me this year!

My interpretation of that is that you all feel intimidated by her. Sad really.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 08/05/2010 19:53

toerag -

scurryfunge · 08/05/2010 19:54

Doubt that Tuarag, what is your opinion, how are you going to comment on the situation?

AnnieLobeseder · 08/05/2010 19:55

I am very bemused by this sudden random attack on Custy!

How on earth could I be intimidated by someone who has no day-to-day contact with me? What can anyone on here actually do to me, seriously? And I speak as one who has ruffled many feathers on MN over the years!

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