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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to go batsh*t about tenant showing up with a killer dog?

103 replies

snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 19:45

Ok, maybe "killer" is an exaggeration- it a Staffordshire Bull Terrier puppy, but they are still dangerous or potentially so from what I understand.

My DP rents two rooms of his house out, one to a family member, one to a friend, and spends little time there apart from working in his office there some days. Mostly he is out and about, or in my home with me.

I am starting to feel that the friend is beginning to take liberties and take over the house- he has his girlfriend round constantly (not a problem), and often lots of mates. DP has already had to speak to him about this, as he doesn't want to show up on Sunday to his own house to find strangers monging on the sofa with spliff detritus all over the coffee table, especially as he sometimes has his teenage son with him, who gets on great with this guy and looks up to him, as he's a bit tough, a gymbod weightlifter etc etc...

Anyway- DP told me yesterday that the other tenant mentioned that they were getting "a new member of the family" that evening, and spills the beans that this guy is bringing home a dog

I was ranting and pissed off when DP told me, as I think this shows a complete lack of respect to not even ASK if it's ok to keep a pet there, never mind a bloody dog. It turns out that the dog isn't a cuddly little bundle of fun either, but the runt of a Staffie litter which a mate has offloaded on him, covered in bites and scratches from fighting.

DP is a bit put out, but I am FUMING. I have said that I refuse to cross the threshold of his house while the dog is there, and that I am really pissed off as I will never be able to just call round again with our little dog, or my youngest child, as I just don't trust these kinds of dog. I am angry too about the lack of respect shown to DP by presenting this as a fait accompli.

So, AIBU to insist that my laid-back but bemused DP puts his foot down and tells the guy to get rid of it?

OP posts:

RedLadyBiscuit · 07/05/2010 19:48

Staffies aren't killer dogs

Having said that, I would be very pissed off if I was letting out a room to someone who didn't ask me if they could have a dog and would kick them out pronto.

I think your DP needs to grow a pair

junglist1 · 07/05/2010 19:48

PersonalClown · 07/05/2010 19:48

..ooh my first one.

Staffy's are not 'killer' dogs as you put it.
They have got a bad image for idiots who need an accessory to make themselves look tough.

My gorgeous little Staffy is the 'runt of the litter' and he is as soft as shite.

NO dog can be trusted 100% but YABU to say that it is a dangerous

Goblinchild · 07/05/2010 19:50

Brace yourself for the avalance of dog lovers who will disagree with you. I'm not one of them.
Sounds like the issues are much bigger than a dog. Your DP needs to be firmer about what he accepts in his house and have clear written tenancy agreements with all his tenants. Or get walked all over, or busted for drugs.
As it's not your home, I think you are entitled to an opinion and to threaten whatever you like, and your DP is free to decide what's important to him.

5Foot5 · 07/05/2010 19:50

YANBU but it sounds like your DP needs to grow a bit of backbone.

These tenants are taking the p**s by getting any sort of dog without asking their landlord if it is OK.

Sounds like he needs to get tough and sort out some proper tenancy agreements.

PersonalClown · 07/05/2010 19:51

Oh and I'm with Redladybiscuit.
Your DP's house...his rules. Either tenant forgoes the dog homing or tenant goes..simple.

Goblinchild · 07/05/2010 19:51

Alas, too slow in posting...
They're heeeeerrrreeee...

bellavita · 07/05/2010 19:52

You are sooooo NBU.

It would have been polite to ask your DP first and considering all of the other things you have mentioned it should be a straight no to having the dog.

PersonalClown · 07/05/2010 19:52

We have a kind of radar Goblinchild .

Tootlesmummy · 07/05/2010 19:52

I'd be more worried about the idiot owner as it'll be him that doesn't train the dog properly thus the dog could misbehave.
I'd tell him it's him or the dog.

Original poster

snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 19:53

Don't they have really powerful jaws which lock if they attack?

I am also worried about DP's teenage son seeing this dog as "cooler" than our little terrier, taking out for walks with his mates, thinking he looks hard and potentially getting into hassle and fights with knuckleheads in gangs with their own macho dogs. There is enough trouble round here with teenage gangs descending from other areas at weekends without making him and his mates conspicuous to them. I can just imagine it.

OP posts:

RustyBear · 07/05/2010 19:54

You will also get (justifiable) objections from Mumsnetters who find the term 'monging' extremely offensive.

Goblinchild · 07/05/2010 19:54

I know PersonalClown.
Like the sn flying squad, of which I am one!

PersonalClown · 07/05/2010 19:55

They are powerful and strong although the jaws don't 'lock' AFAIK.

They are one of the gentlest breeds going, it's just arseholes that know that they look like a streak of piss that will fall over in the wind so they 'need' the dog to scare people!!

VinegarTits · 07/05/2010 19:56

Well i can understand you being pissed off as it is bloody well cheeky not to ask if he can have the dog there, its not his house and they shit everywhere

However, staffs are actually very gentle with humans (i had one she was lovely) and often get mistaken for pit bulls, but you do need to watch them around other dogs, mine didnt like other dogs and would go for them

Can your DP just tell him to get rid? it is his house afterall

VinegarTits · 07/05/2010 19:57

and yes their jaws do lock

PersonalClown · 07/05/2010 19:57

They do?? learn something new every day!

bamboobutton · 07/05/2010 19:58

yabu

i very much doubt the kennel club would reccomend a 'killer' dog for a family pet

kennel club

EdgarAllenPoll · 07/05/2010 19:58

what does the contract say?

another vote for Staffies being lovely little dogs. people thast buy them to live in a house share though - idiots. without asking thelandlord - doubly so.

Chandra · 07/05/2010 19:59

I know a couple who has a staffie, who is a fantastic dog, lovely and friendly, she has just killed one dog, but "she is good with dogs, she only attacks female ones."

Oh, and they were also complaining of the police coming to photograph their dog after it killed the neighbour's dog, "why would they do that? those are dog things".

Ah... and they also have a baby, but the dog is great with her...

So yes, not all staffies are softies. Actually, even small tiny dogs can be quite nasty if not properly trained.

Now, About the tenant situation which is the real problem here... I think your partner needs to grow a pair, but I don't think that he is convinced that the situation is worth the trouble.

traceybath · 07/05/2010 19:59

Golly - does your DH get shouted at/walked over by everyone?

Its up to him isn't it really.

Original poster

snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 19:59

Oh sorry, I didn't think of that term being offensive- I suppose it is. I wouldn't use it as a noun because I know that. I meant "gauching" then- can I say that?

OP posts:

VinegarTits · 07/05/2010 20:00

They are a fantastic dog to have as a pet, its the idiots that dont look after them properly that have given them a bad name

Firawla · 07/05/2010 20:03

I think they need to have a proper tenancy agreement, it sounds as though its been done on a slightly casual basis which is always a recipe for disaster, as 'friends' can feel more able to take advantage than they would with a standard landlord, thinking "its only so&so, he won't mind." And put no pets/dogs in the tenancy agreement.
I am not a dog lover myself and would feel the same as you about this dog, but the whole arrangement doesn't seem ideal in the first place. Wouldn't dp not be better off just live in one place, and rent the whole house out in a normal way without nipping back in to visit and use it sometimes, as normal landlords wouldn't do that so it may blur the boundaries?
But even as things are I think he would be fine to put his foot down about the dog

PersonalClown · 07/05/2010 20:05

Chandra- can I ask..Did they do any training with the dog? Try to discourage any aggressive behaviour?
Or did they just assume the dog would learn by telepathy?

Oh and did they say that they 'trusted' their dog 100% because I certainly don't. At the end of the day, it is still an animal.

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