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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go batsh*t about tenant showing up with a killer dog?

103 replies

snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 19:45

Ok, maybe "killer" is an exaggeration- it a Staffordshire Bull Terrier puppy, but they are still dangerous or potentially so from what I understand.

My DP rents two rooms of his house out, one to a family member, one to a friend, and spends little time there apart from working in his office there some days. Mostly he is out and about, or in my home with me.

I am starting to feel that the friend is beginning to take liberties and take over the house- he has his girlfriend round constantly (not a problem), and often lots of mates. DP has already had to speak to him about this, as he doesn't want to show up on Sunday to his own house to find strangers monging on the sofa with spliff detritus all over the coffee table, especially as he sometimes has his teenage son with him, who gets on great with this guy and looks up to him, as he's a bit tough, a gymbod weightlifter etc etc...

Anyway- DP told me yesterday that the other tenant mentioned that they were getting "a new member of the family" that evening, and spills the beans that this guy is bringing home a dog

I was ranting and pissed off when DP told me, as I think this shows a complete lack of respect to not even ASK if it's ok to keep a pet there, never mind a bloody dog. It turns out that the dog isn't a cuddly little bundle of fun either, but the runt of a Staffie litter which a mate has offloaded on him, covered in bites and scratches from fighting.

DP is a bit put out, but I am FUMING. I have said that I refuse to cross the threshold of his house while the dog is there, and that I am really pissed off as I will never be able to just call round again with our little dog, or my youngest child, as I just don't trust these kinds of dog. I am angry too about the lack of respect shown to DP by presenting this as a fait accompli.

So, AIBU to insist that my laid-back but bemused DP puts his foot down and tells the guy to get rid of it?

OP posts:
Original poster
snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 22:26

Valhalla- he assures me that he is telling him tomorrow that the dog goes back to his mate or he moves out. I have made my feelings very plain.

OP posts:
2shoeshatesbigots · 07/05/2010 22:28

snoozulooz I read the op
saw the offensive term and the silly statement about a whole breed of dogs..........

Original poster
snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 22:34

Hey, watch those dot dot dots...you know who always ends her posts like that, don't you?

OP posts:
wastingaway · 07/05/2010 22:42

Interesting.

Obv YANBU with lodger deciding to get a dog without checking.

Re: Breeds - weren't dogs originally bred for purpose - sheep dog, gun dog, blood hound etc.
I thought bull terriers were bred to take down bulls?

2shoeshatesbigots · 07/05/2010 22:59

snoozulooz who?
I only do it as I crap at puntuation

Original poster
snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 23:01

a certain BNP supporter...

OP posts:
2shoeshatesbigots · 07/05/2010 23:06

omg. I will never do that again.

swallowedAfly · 08/05/2010 00:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
snoozulooz · 08/05/2010 00:27

Oh he is no cocklodger . He spoils me rotten.

I think you have a point though that he is less likely to get outraged thann I am, and that it is me pushing for boundaries on this one. He is perhaps a bit uncomfortable about this dog thing, whereas I am incensed. He will say something, because I'm bothered by it, but I think he was more prepared to take a 'Let's see how it goes' approach. I guess neither of us are that judemental about the drugs stuff on a moral principle, because we recognise the sort of life stage the guy is at- but we don't want our kids to see it, so DP did put his foot down over that without any coaxing from me.

DP is pretty laid back, and I like that about him, but he isn't a pushover. He just picks his battles, and I guess this one is just more important to me than him, so I've had to poke him into raising an objection.

OP posts:
MiladyDeWinterOfDiscontent · 08/05/2010 00:53

Funny title OP though, I always like the word "batshit" when I see it. In conjunction with "Killer Dog" I couldn't resist reading but this thread is disappointingly reasonable

MiladyDeWinterOfDiscontent · 08/05/2010 00:56

Well it's sort of reasonable.

BitOfFun · 08/05/2010 00:59

You've gotta pull the crowds on a Friday night, Milady

MiladyDeWinterOfDiscontent · 08/05/2010 01:07

OP loan the Killer Dog to your local BNP candidate. If it really is a fighting dog then no real harm will be done to society if it nips a bit.

skihorse · 08/05/2010 04:20

YABU.

  1. You're clueless about dogs
  2. It's not your flat
  3. Get a fucking grip

(Maybe I'm wrong but isn't this the second thread within a month where you're complaining about your partner's tenants? Don't want to live there? Don't!)

EricNorthmansmistress · 08/05/2010 08:54

YANBU
I wouldn't have my baby around a dog I didn't know well, whatever breed it was. As it happens I am a wuss and staffies etc make me nervous, but the only dog I trust round DS is my parents' dog, and even then he's never left unsupervised.

Maybe your DP should move in with you and rent his room out!

BigBadMummy · 08/05/2010 09:01

OK so i have not read the whole thread BUT this guy is a lodger.

He cannot be a tenant or governed by any form of Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreement as your DP still lives in the house, or certainly has space there.

SO that would invalidate any AST if you have one.

If you don't and this guy is there "under licence" tell your DP to give him a week's notice and ask him to leave.

This is nothing to do with the breed of the dog. This is to to do with the fact that he is not permitted to bring a dog into the property without your DP's permission.

I would also ask him to leave on the grounds that there is drug taking going on in the property.

If the place gets raided your DP could find himself also arrested as it would be hard for him to deny he knew it was happening when, to all intents and purposes, he spends time there.

So from a property management point of view (which is what I do professionally I would ask this person to leave).

YAB a tad U with your title re the dog, but I see others have already addressed that.

BigBadMummy · 08/05/2010 09:03

oh and also forgot to say, if this person is permitting "all sorts" to doss over there, how do you know who has keys?

What happens when one of those people decides they are going to stay on and the original person disappears?

Your DP could find himself with a very ugly situation trying to gain possession of his property again.

You do need to get this all back on a professional footing, with any lodger respecting the boundaries NOW.

Fluffyone · 08/05/2010 09:36

This thread is a bit mad isn't it? To me what sort of dog it is, how old it is, whether or not that breed has ever hurt a child is pretty irrelevant.
Lodgers can't just decide to bring pets into their landlords house without permission and that's the end of it. So your DP needs to strap some on and tell his lodger that the dog is gone by the end of this weekend, or it will be taken to your nearest branch of Battersea. They don't like it, they leave.

swallowedAfly · 08/05/2010 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MortaIWombat · 08/05/2010 10:51

Hey, I'm up for a scrap. I reckon vets who claim their wide experience of dogs mean they are experts on the 'average' breed temperament should try to remember that the dogs they see tend to be brought in by people who actually care about their animals' welfare. Such people tend to see the cruelty and public danger in encouraging dogs to be aggressive. Many can even manage them when they are off the lead, and get them to walk to heel without straining at the lead.
I'm afraid all of that's certainly not true of the staffie-owning demographic round here.
Claiming that the beloved pets that get to see the vet, rather than a 'mate who knows a lot about dogs' when they are injured are representative of the type of beasts one finds on the mean streets of Lewisham is, tbh, rather naive.

And yes, I know it's not the dogs' faults. But I am pretty certain that a pup bought round here would, be nature, be a nightmare to train and never trustworthy to any reasonable degree. No reputable breeders.

MortaIWombat · 08/05/2010 10:56

Harumph. Disappointed. Off to do shopping now; back later.
(If I'm not savaged to death in Peckham)

Joolyjoolyjoo · 08/05/2010 13:27

Awesome- sorry to be less than enraged, but would just point out that many of us vets have worked in and along with dog charities (where many dogs bought on a whim end up) and in places like the PDSA, where drug dealers clients on benefits can bring their £800 pedigree dog and get free treatment.

And it may sound strange but many of the seemingly undesirable people that own these "killing machines" actually love them very much! Some of them surprise you with how much money they have to throw about when it comes to getting treatment for their pride and joy! I have often been more scared of the owners than I have been of the dog!!

EdgarAllenPoll · 08/05/2010 13:44

aawesome has a point - the vet (even a free vet) will only see those dogs whose owners have recognised the animal needs treatment and cared enough to take them.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 08/05/2010 13:46

Or the dogs that get abandoned by owners who don't care about them!

OhExpletive · 08/05/2010 13:51

at Jooly's experiences of PDSA clients. I have found myself deeply envious of their big shiny cars and Argos expensive bling. Am thinking we should see if a coalition would look at tweaking the Proceeds of Crime legislation ... it could be a good earner for certain animal charities!