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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to go batsh*t about tenant showing up with a killer dog?

103 replies

snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 19:45

Ok, maybe "killer" is an exaggeration- it a Staffordshire Bull Terrier puppy, but they are still dangerous or potentially so from what I understand.

My DP rents two rooms of his house out, one to a family member, one to a friend, and spends little time there apart from working in his office there some days. Mostly he is out and about, or in my home with me.

I am starting to feel that the friend is beginning to take liberties and take over the house- he has his girlfriend round constantly (not a problem), and often lots of mates. DP has already had to speak to him about this, as he doesn't want to show up on Sunday to his own house to find strangers monging on the sofa with spliff detritus all over the coffee table, especially as he sometimes has his teenage son with him, who gets on great with this guy and looks up to him, as he's a bit tough, a gymbod weightlifter etc etc...

Anyway- DP told me yesterday that the other tenant mentioned that they were getting "a new member of the family" that evening, and spills the beans that this guy is bringing home a dog

I was ranting and pissed off when DP told me, as I think this shows a complete lack of respect to not even ASK if it's ok to keep a pet there, never mind a bloody dog. It turns out that the dog isn't a cuddly little bundle of fun either, but the runt of a Staffie litter which a mate has offloaded on him, covered in bites and scratches from fighting.

DP is a bit put out, but I am FUMING. I have said that I refuse to cross the threshold of his house while the dog is there, and that I am really pissed off as I will never be able to just call round again with our little dog, or my youngest child, as I just don't trust these kinds of dog. I am angry too about the lack of respect shown to DP by presenting this as a fait accompli.

So, AIBU to insist that my laid-back but bemused DP puts his foot down and tells the guy to get rid of it?

OP posts:

laydeestardust · 07/05/2010 20:12

OP,

"monging" !!

How revolting. I can't actually concentrate on your issue because I can't see anything except that vile word.

Yuck.

Come back maybe when you've grown up and learned not to be so offensive.

5Foot5 · 07/05/2010 20:13

"monging", "gauching"

I have never heard either of these phrases before. I can sort of guess what the origins for the first might be but I am scratching my head at the second.

Are these terms to imply sitting around doing nothing much?

if so, in our house it is called "amoebing"

[Sorry to go off-topic but I was genuinely curious]

Original poster

snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 20:14

Alright- keep your hair on! I didn't think about the origin of the word and won't use it again. As I've said, I didn't connect it to the noun- just thought of it as lounging round hungover or stoned without disablist connotations. I consider myself educated and will adapt accordingly, ok?

OP posts:

mumblechum · 07/05/2010 20:16

Staffies are not all soft, at least the one which ripped into my neighbour's little girls face last year wasn't.

It was a totally unprovoked attack and she had emergency surgery and is now scarred for life.

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 07/05/2010 20:18

I agree there are no bad dogs only bad owners yada yada.

However, if this tenant is the kind of guy to get a dog on a whim, (which is what it sounds like) how responsible an owner is he going to be?

Also, if this dog is covered in injuries from fighting, that to me suggests the pup may already have been taught how to be agressive, or prepped for fighting IYKWIM?

YADNBU. I wouldn't let my DC in a house with a dog like that.And I have a big fierce dog of my own.

Original poster

snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 20:22

I've just found this article about them which makes interesting reading. It sounds like they aren't particularly aggressive with humans, but that because they are so strong, when they are they are very dangerous.

OP posts:

PersonalClown · 07/05/2010 20:23

Very good point there Chore dodger.
If the tenant is as 'undesirable' as you are telling us he is, then he's not really going to be doing the best for this dog.

And I'm sorry to be stereotypical but if he is a 'Stoner' as I'm reading it, he's probably only interested in the image the dog is projecting for him.

QSnondomicilabilis · 07/05/2010 20:31

It does not matter whether you like dogs or not (clearly you do, you are a dogowner) or whether tenant has decided to get an elephant or a dog, the point is he did not ask his landlord.

Is there a tenancy agreement/contract? I would serve notice to this lodger, to be honest. It is simple, if he has a dog, he cant live there anylonger. If he had asked before hand, he would be told, and as he did not ask, he will have to move. Your dp should really not allow any puppy training in his home.

Original poster

snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 20:33

There is a basic, but not especially thorough agreement. I guess 'tenant' is the wrong word really- they are supposed to be lodgers really. It's just that DP is rarely there overnight, so I suppose they have got used to seeing it as their house.

OP posts:

Vallhala · 07/05/2010 20:40

The dog is not a killer breed or dangerous - YABVVVU. Ignorant assertions of this type are the very things which breed the anti-staffie hysteria this country suffers from at present and results in the death and abandonment of hundreds of perfectly friendly, innocent dogs... and so the self-perpetuating cycle of misinformation goes on.

I agree that the guy is a prick for not asking permission to own a dog in your DP's house as well as for his other apparent lack of respect. I'm not quite sure what it has to do with anyone other than the landlord, ie your DP though.

Far more worrying still is that the guy's bought this poor little puppy on a whim and I fear that he will be just as blase about "getting rid" of the pup, as you put it.

Original poster

snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 20:49

He hasn't bought it though- he has had it foisted on him by an irresponsible twat. I think he should foist it right back.

I am prepared to concede that this dogs have their good points, but I still don't want to take my youngest over there while there is a dog there who, if it turned, could actually kill or maim her for life.

OP posts:

mumblechum · 07/05/2010 20:50

Vallhalla, tell that to my friend's daughter. In addition to having facial scarring she had nightmares for months. She was visiting her little friend and the dog went for her for no reason.

junglist1 · 07/05/2010 20:54

All the staffie hysteria is getting silly now TBH. A very good point was made on another thread about cars being more dangerous to children than dogs, but people don't think about that because they drive and therefore don't have a leg to stand on. Being scared of a pup is really wah wah

PersonalClown · 07/05/2010 20:55

At the end of the day OP, we could argue the good and bad points of all breeds till the cows come home.

The fact remains that it is your DP's house and his rules.
He should just tell this bloke that if he is going to keep this dog , then he needs to find it and himself another home.

OhExpletive · 07/05/2010 20:56

Tenant taking dog into rented accommodation without consultation with landlord - totally U.

Describing a 2 month old puppy as a "killer dog" on the basis of its breed, which you know nothing about - illustrates your spectacular ignorance and suggestible nature (do you read the DM, by the way?)

Using terms like "monging" - I revert to my earlier point regarding your spectacular ignorance.

Original poster

snoozulooz · 07/05/2010 20:56

They aren't pups forever though, are they? And it's much easier to say No at this point than after the dog has made a home with this guy. Unless he agrees to move out.

OP posts:

Vallhala · 07/05/2010 20:57

Willingly, mumblechum. In the process I'd explain that any dog can bite and that it's the deed not breed that needs addressing. I've handled more SBTs than most people and I haven't been bitten by one yet.

I have found rescue places for an awful lot of SBTs who were in pounds about to be killed because of ignorant generalisation too.

junglist1 · 07/05/2010 20:57

Especially idiotic people who've had a dog for years, read a story in the Sun and then bring their innocent dog to rescue for nothing apart from their own mind numbing Jeremy Kyle esque stupidity

RumourOfAHurricane · 07/05/2010 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Vallhala · 07/05/2010 21:02

Getting off my doggy soapbox, snoozulooz, I honestly think that the guy is taking the piss with DP all round from the sound of it and would be raising the roof if he was doped up/surrounded by bits of spliff etc when my own DC came into my own house.

I'd ensure that the pup found a better owner and the man another house.

MarthaQuest · 07/05/2010 21:05

Why would anyone want a dog?

it's just beyond me

they poo and you either have to pick it up and carry it home in a disgusting little bag, or leave it (as is increasingly happening down our way) for others to tread in.

and they shed hairs, lick things, bite small babies, do horrible smelly farts-eugh

My gran's young dog,a golden retriever, got so over excited when he met baby dd he LITERALLY came all over the rug
FFS!

Why?

onagar · 07/05/2010 21:06

YANBU, Your DP needs to be firm about it.

OhExpletive, I can't see your earlier post. Did you really namechange so you could make the same point twice?

I see someone says that their jaws DO lock. Can I just say that I don't give a damn if they do or not. A dog that isn't under control can be dangerous and no amount of name calling will change that fact.

As for the Word Police. Come back when it's illegal and you have a leg to stand on (if someone's dog hasn't bitten it off by then)

wannaBe · 07/05/2010 21:07

so in the one op we have "a killer dog,", a bloke who spends his time "monging" out on the couch while enjoying a spliff. are there any other elements of society you would like to include in this tale?

And I see you are new here - having posted on just three threads to date.

Tell me, is it a house your dp is renting out? or a bridge?

Joolyjoolyjoo · 07/05/2010 21:07

YANBU to think that the friend should have consulted your DP before getting the dog

YABVU to describe this 8wk old SBT as a "killer dog"! I am a vet and as such have worked with thousands of dogs over the last 15 years. I have met lots of staffies, and I am singularly unafraid of them. They are admittedly not always great at socialising with other dogs, but they are generally very human friendly, IME. I like them, have never been so much as growled at by one. I accept that there are stories about staff's biting, but IME they are no more likely to bite than any other breed (there are other breeds I am far more wary of!)

As an interesting aside, I read in the Vet Times today that The Control of Dogs (Scotland) Bill has been passed and is scheduled to become law on May 20. THis legislation allows local authorities to issue control notices to owners who allow dogs to be aggressive, whether on public or private property. The BSAVA and BVA has been active in making sure that these control orders do not take into account the dogs' size, breed or power. The message is clearly being sent that it is insufficient (and misleading and ignorant) to judge a dog on its breed.

OhExpletive · 07/05/2010 21:09

onagar, the earlier point to which I refer is within the preceding paragraph

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