Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think friend should have signed the card

59 replies

TwoLittlePontipines · 07/05/2010 16:27

Today I received an unexpected parcel in the post... not my birthday or any occasion, so it came completely out of the blue.
The trouble is, I was out at doctors appointment when it came, so DP opened it.

The card reads
"Hello Beauty, I'm not going to sign this as you should know who sent it...." blah blah blah..."think of you often xxx"

Yes, I know exactly who sent it, (a friend with a quirky personality!)
However, DP did not, and when I got in he was absolutely raging!

Reading it from his perspective, I agree completely, however, AIBU? Is he?

Is it unreasonable to think that my friend should not have sent a card like that to someone in a relationship. Should she just have signed it, and perhaps realised that sending something like that leads to all sorts of questions.

DP has no reason to think that I could possibly be seeing anyone else, but this card has suddenly put ideas in his head. (we have been together for about 5 years and have 2 small children)

What do I do???

OP posts:
said · 07/05/2010 16:28

Bit OTT of your husband to be "raging". Could he not just ask about it if it bothered him that much?

etchasketch · 07/05/2010 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BusyMissIzzy · 07/05/2010 16:30

Well, if the card had your name on the envelope I'm not sure your DH should have opened it without asing you first anyway. And he then should have asked you about it before "raging". And now he knows who it's from, he should chill. You could say to your friend that your DH opened it and got the wrong idea, but it's basically been a misunderstanding, so doesn't really need to be a big deal, surely?

TrillianAstra · 07/05/2010 16:30

Sorry, I think this is funny.

FairyCakeBump · 07/05/2010 16:30

Er, why was your DP opening your post anyway?

I'd get in touch with your friend and tell her what happened and get her to explain to your DP.

BusyMissIzzy · 07/05/2010 16:31

asking

BlingLoving · 07/05/2010 16:32

Your friend is a woman?
In which case, while I can (almost) understand why DH was raging, the moment he heard it was Sue with her quirky and somewhat irritating sense of humour he should have got over it itimmediately.

Your friend wasn't unreasonable. A little stranger perhaps, but not unusual.

My friends and I all call each other Gorgeous and Lovely and silly names. If DH got upset, there's be a problem.

LaurieFecktheToriesCake · 07/05/2010 16:35

your dh is an idiot

not her - she's your friend, she can write what she likes

get a grip and tell him to piss off, its a joke

TrillianAstra · 07/05/2010 16:35

If you are secure in a reltionship you might be disconcerted at first but you shouldn't hang onto that after the misunderstanding has been cleared up. He needs to get over it.

YABU to think your friend did anything wrong, assuming your husband isn't known to be massively jealous (and even then you shoulnd't necessarily have to pander to it)

EldonAve · 07/05/2010 16:36

why is he opening your stuff?

CarmenSanDiego · 07/05/2010 16:36

If I was the friend who sent it, I wouldn't expect your dh to open it. It's really not something you can get upset at her about as a) it was intended for you. b) she couldn't predict your dh's odd reaction.

harleyd · 07/05/2010 16:41

tell him to wind his neck in
he shouldnt be opening your post anyway

Chulita · 07/05/2010 16:42

Why did your dp open it? He gets what's coming to him opening other people's post. Your friend didn't need to sign the card as you knew who it was from.
(I got kind of the same thing from fil who got angry that I'd addressed a card to mil and not to him...but it was a card for mil so he shouldn't have opened it anyway!)
See if you can get your friend to clear it up, better that than letting your dp stew on it.

LaurieFecktheToriesCake · 07/05/2010 16:42

Yes your friend probably doesn't have the gift of second sight where she could predict your dh was actually a twonk

KurriKurri · 07/05/2010 16:42

You can't really blame your friend for the fact that your DH opens your mail. I would be fuming if my DH did that, if he's upset perhaps he'll learn not to do it again.

JaneS · 07/05/2010 16:43

Your DH is being childish. As if your secret lover's going to send you a whacking great parcel with a message like that.

PheasantPlucker · 07/05/2010 16:44

Sorry, but why is he opening your post?????

scurryfunge · 07/05/2010 16:44

what harleyd said

belgo · 07/05/2010 16:45

I'd be 'raging' if my dh opened my post.

He's acting like an idiot.

belgo · 07/05/2010 16:46

what was the gift btw?

OrmRenewed · 07/05/2010 16:46

Your DH needs to get a grip. Your post is not his business and anyway you've explained to him.

fragola · 07/05/2010 16:49

If I were you, I'd be raging that he'd opened my post and then had a go at me before I had chance to explain.

minipie · 07/05/2010 16:51

Your DH is being an eejit. some Other Man surely wouldn't send a parcel to you at your house anyway!?

ProfessorLaytonIsMyProxyVoter · 07/05/2010 16:53

So your DP opens your post and starts "raging" over an innocent message?

Your friend INBU, but he definitely is.

foureleven · 07/05/2010 16:54

He shouldnt have opened it.

He should have asked for your side of the story before 'raging'

You should have called the friend there and then in front of him and got her to explain, and maybe apologise just to appease him.

He is BU.