To think friend should have signed the card

[TwoLittlePontipines]

Today I received an unexpected parcel in the post... not my birthday or any occasion, so it came completely out of the blue.
The trouble is, I was out at doctors appointment when it came, so DP opened it.

The card reads
"Hello Beauty, I'm not going to sign this as you should know who sent it...." blah blah blah..."think of you often xxx"

Yes, I know exactly who sent it, (a friend with a quirky personality!)
However, DP did not, and when I got in he was absolutely raging!

Reading it from his perspective, I agree completely, however, AIBU? Is he?

Is it unreasonable to think that my friend should not have sent a card like that to someone in a relationship. Should she just have signed it, and perhaps realised that sending something like that leads to all sorts of questions.

DP has no reason to think that I could possibly be seeing anyone else, but this card has suddenly put ideas in his head. (we have been together for about 5 years and have 2 small children)

What do I do???

My husband is free to open any of my mail and I'm equally free to open his. In fact for boring crap like bank statements, whoever picks up the post opens them BUT he'd never open anything that looked more interesting such as a card or a present because opening things like that is part of the fun and he wouldn't want to spoilt it for me and vice versa.

It's so sad that not only is your husband a jealous, controlling arse but that he won't even allow you the little joy of opening your own presents.

I can't believe he opens all your post . That's really unacceptable, especially for the controlling reasons he gives, and I think you have to try and make him see that.

I'd be fuming if someone opened a parcel addressed to me, opening it is half the excitement of getting a parcel!

Does he open all your birthday cards and presents too?

Oh boy - you've got bigger problems than him opening your mail.

That's unacceptable behaviour from him, however it's dressed up. It's also worrying that you've got yourself into the position where you would even think of blaming your friend, rather than seeing your DH's unreasonable demands and expectations.

I believe you've got some hard thinking to do about where you are and what you expect from a partner.

I'd be more angry that'd he'd been opening my post. It would probably drive to a childish remark along the lines of, "Well its from my secret lover..." to be honest.

Secondly, if you've explained it was a joke from a friend and he was still "raging" then I think you have bigger issues than an unsigned card.

As for what you should do - tell him to get a grip and stop invading your privacy.

Your DH is being an absolute arse.

If it helps get some persepctive, my bf was feeling abit down so I sent her a parcel with a note saying 'For you, enjoy, you sexy beast, xx'

Her DP texted me the day after she had had it to thank me for cheering her up and thinking of her. THAT is a normal reaction.

Passing over your letter after you have read it, for him to see is one thing. Him opening something clearly not for him, addressed to you, is out of line.
Is his name TwoLittlePontipines ? No? Then why did he open it? Having nothing to hide does not mean you open up other peoples personal mail.

WOW your dp is totally over reacting! Even when I signed for flowers opened the card thinking they were for me and read "To Mr Connortraceptive love from James xx" I did not react like your dh or even close.

I was definately and a tad but not particularly concerned that he may in fact be having an affair with a bloke!

I can't understand why DP would open post that is addressed to you? If he was concerned by the message then following your explanation he should wind his neck in tbh.

"perhaps realised that sending something like that leads to all sorts of questions"

Er actually, no, it doesn't. Perhaps an enquiry as to who it was from and that should be it.

This is about much, much more than a parcel. If he is insisting on opening all of your post and if you are letting him, then he is controlling you.

You can't let this continue. If it leads to a row, then so be it and if he can't deal with that, then at the very least you need to consider to what other levels you will let him rule you.

What you describe is not a healthy relationship.