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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

for "taking it personally"

87 replies

Froid · 07/05/2010 14:33

Been saying a man for around 6 months now. I'm a psychologist, he works at Tesco. I wouldn't normally mention this, but apparantly it matters in this scenario. In the past he has shot the odd comment directed at my work/education such as "better not lie you had I, with your psychiatry mumbo jumbo" or "So, what am I thinking now?" or if we're watching Who wants to be a millionair or weakest link or something he seems to thrive on me not knowing answers and says stuff like "ah see, having a degree does not make you a brainbox after all!" I never said it did!! I never mention my education or work unless its relevant btw, I don't sit there banging on about it.
Anyway I have told him before that I feel like he's taking the piss out of me and he says he's just "messing about" and then often adds something like "its university, sapped all the humour out of you"
Anyway he invited me to a bbq last weekend where his family and friends would be and I thought it would be a good opportunity to meet them all. Almost straight away though I had the micky taken out of me "froid is a doctor" said in a mock posh voice and when I said "i'm not a doctor" trying to play along and not get arsy they just kept on and on "so, you're not a doctor, are you the cleaner? yeah I know, she works in psychiatrist office cleaning the bogs" ha ha etc etc

Am I taking it all too personally then? I wouldn't mind if it was just a one off comment but its all the time.

OP posts:
JaneS · 07/05/2010 21:44

Show him this thread. Tell him he's being a pathetic little man, and go.

tuarag · 07/05/2010 21:45

ljgibbs

You sound as bitter and twisted as the OP's man. Where in the original post does it refer to stacking shelves?

driedapricots · 07/05/2010 21:46

it sounds like you're prob not intellectually matched for the long term anyway. i'd get out now and find someone who appreciates you and your career

Mamalade · 07/05/2010 22:01

would he like some fish...with those chips?

HerBeatitude · 07/05/2010 22:13

Physician, heal thyself

You know what advice you'd give to another poster who posted this.

I don't think there's any point giving him a chance to apologise and think over his behaviour. He sounds so jealous of you that he wouldn't be able to stop himself undermining you, even if he wanted to.

scottishmummy · 07/05/2010 22:20

time for some self approbation for your achievements.you are habitually accepting put upon role

put upon by a vile man
put upon by your family

consciously and unconsciously you allow self to be put down and for as long as you accept it they will give it

you set the boundaries.calmly,consistently assert yourself.take some control back.

otherwise you will continue to take this crap

tuarag · 07/05/2010 22:44

scottishmummy

Great post.

ljgibbs · 07/05/2010 22:57

toerag - shelf stacker are you?

marriednotdead · 07/05/2010 23:04

You're not taking it personally enough IMO! When your self esteem has been constantly eroded during formative years, it's easy to slide into relationships with people who you know are not really right for you. It's a reflection on how little you value yourself. I have been there so I do understand how you ended up in this position, and how scary the thought of ending it is.
My MIL has a favourite phrase- one hand can't clap. You cannot fix it/him, no matter how you try.
I hope you can dredge up the justifiable anger that will give you the confidence to end this sad farce. No doubt he will then throw in your face that you always thought you were better than him. Just remember that you are and keep walking.

Tortington · 07/05/2010 23:09

' be a dear and do fuck off, you uneducated pleb....what? ...upsetting? 0h but i was only joking, can't plebs take jokes? is it something to do with your knuckles rubbing along the floor, does it make you grumpy all that knuckle dragging?'

not constructive -but fuck it give it back.

btw this isn't my opinion - just a comback in the style of Ops tesco twunt

Tortington · 07/05/2010 23:10

TESCO!!!!! i hope you've said ' in your case every little really does help doesnt it' with pointed look at his trouser area

tuarag · 07/05/2010 23:28

Add message | Report | Contact poster By ljgibbs Fri 07-May-10 22:57:18
toerag - shelf stacker are you?

Actually, no. I do however possess a 'first' in geography. Does this make me any better than a shelf stacker? I really do not think so. Circumstances and all that.

Get over yourself, seriously.

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