Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off that dh is considering breaking the law?

63 replies

wannabeoriginal · 06/05/2010 19:12

To pacify dd nearly 17.
Long story but basically dd will soon be 17 and we have promised driving lessons.To this ends have applied online and forwarded birth certificate to Swansea by recorded delivery.
Surprise surprise Royal Mail have no trace of the recorded delivery and are currently investigating.
Dd is understandably upset behaving like a brat because she won't be able to have a lesson on her birthday unless Royal mail find her documents and DVLA manage to get a license out to her quickly.
So to pacify her he suggests taking her out on her birthday in our car with no license and no insurance
Dd is a daddy's girl and can wrap him round her finger but this time it is going way too far. AIBU to threaten to report them both if they go ahead with this.

OP posts:
PeedOffWithNits · 06/05/2010 19:14

YANBU at all

DH is setting her a very poor example about driving rules and regs. Not a good start to her life as a responsible driver IMO

singsinthebath · 06/05/2010 19:14

YANBU - it's just not worth the risk.
Before I was 17 my dad took me to a disused airfield to practise driving. Is there somewhere off the proper road you can find instead.

Thediaryofanobody · 06/05/2010 19:15

YANBU and your DH is setting an awful example.

minipie · 06/05/2010 19:15

No YANBU. Apart from anything else he might get points on his licence or even banned if they are caught.

Can you suggest they find a large mostly empty car park or similar to drive around?
ie somewhere that is not a public road? I believe that may be legal (Not sure though I must admit).

isthatporridgeinyourzone · 06/05/2010 19:16

YANBU.

LaurieFecktheToriesCake · 06/05/2010 19:17

It's perfectly legal on private property - find a disused piece of land or a very empty car park.

Just don't let him take her on the public road.

Isn't this how we all learned years ago?

LaurieFecktheToriesCake · 06/05/2010 19:17

not "don't let him" - persuade him otherwise.

scurryfunge · 06/05/2010 19:18

They will both end up in court if they pursue that crazy idea. She'll have to wait

Hulababy · 06/05/2010 19:18

He must NOT take her on the roads and highways. No way.

TBH, if they go ahead with this I would be putting my foot down nd telling DD she wasn't having lessons full stop til she could prove herself mature and responsible enough to be having them. If she is will to dive with no licence and no insurance she clearly is not responsible.

As for your DH....

SalFresco · 06/05/2010 19:25

I got taken round a car park on my 17th. Don't see a problem with that. No way I'd be happy with them going on the road - shecould be banned before she passes!

Original poster
wannabeoriginal · 06/05/2010 19:27

Have had a major bust up because I can't for the life of me see why she can't wait tbh.
All dh sees are the tears and bloody common sense goes out the window.
He has been like this from the minute she could bat her eyelids at him.
Annoying when it was sweets and toys but bloody infuriating when it's something like this.
Of course I am the baddie like I have been her whole life because I am the one who has put in limits.
Then he wonders why she openly adores him and sees me as somebody to fight against all the time.
Totally pissed off with the pair of them

OP posts:
ASecretLemonadeDrinkerDAVE · 06/05/2010 19:29

Car park, private property - meh. On the road, no waaaaaay. Apart from it being so so illegal it beggars belief, your DD will end up possibly with a ban, points and your DH maybe the same and a fine. This isn't lapsed insurance, 1 day out of date tax, it's seriously and knowingly breaking the law. She can do plenty in a non moving car also - cock pit drill, learn about the oil/water etc.

StephysFamous · 06/05/2010 19:31

YANBU!
She must hold a valid provisional driving licence before she gets behind the wheel of a car to learn to drive. It is an offence not to hold such a licence and she could find herslf with points on her licence before she gets it or a delay in her licence being issued. Also she should be aware that trying to drive any vehicle without a valid provisional or full licence negates her insurance thus leaving you uninsured whilst driving. This in itself is a criminal offence which can carry a hefty fine or in some instances a custodial sentence.
Not worth it is it.

ASecretLemonadeDrinkerDAVE · 06/05/2010 19:32

Driving without a valid license will get you a penalty of 3-6 points and a maximum fine of £1000. The court can also issue a driving ban which stops you from obtaining a driver's license for a set period in the future. You may also receive further charges of driving without insurance as your insurance may be invalid if you do not have a valid driver's licence

6 points on a provisional means as soon as you get it, it's taken away. For 2 years I think?

thisisyesterday · 06/05/2010 19:32

Agree with hulababy. if she is going to act like that then i would say no drving lessons at all until she can act responsibly.

and i would be stringing dh up by the balls for even suggesting it!!!

muriel76 · 06/05/2010 19:34

yanbu

If she kills someone they could both end up inside.

Sorry but your dp sounds like an idiot.

scurryfunge · 06/05/2010 19:35

With no insurance comes the risk of the Police seizing the car at the roadside also and paying hefty charges to recover it

thisisyesterday · 06/05/2010 19:36

and it isn't legal to drive in a car park either

apparently car parks with 24hr access are classed as public roads, and as such you would need a licence and insurance

those with barriers etc aren't- but you wouldn't be able to get into them while they were empty to practise your driving

thisisyesterday · 06/05/2010 19:36

see here

scurryfunge · 06/05/2010 19:39

If you are going to do it,it needs to be on private land and with permission of the owner

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 06/05/2010 19:39

YANBU

Your husband is acting like a prat, your daughter is acting like a brat and it makes no odds if she has her first lesson aged 17 exactly or 17 and a week.

Batteryhuman · 06/05/2010 19:41

Not only will your daughter be committing a criminal offence but so will your DH for allowing it. He will face a long ban and a big fine as well.

Mishy1234 · 06/05/2010 19:48

YANBU.

If she has an accident or someone is hurt there would be serious consequences. It was the one thing which was drummed into me before I learnt to drive. NEVER, EVER, drive without insurance.

foreverastudent · 06/05/2010 19:52

yanbu, it is such a bad example for your dh to set for her

what if they injure someone on the road or hit another car- you could get sued for £100s of thousands, leaving you bankrupt and homeless!

outnumbered2to1 · 06/05/2010 23:20

YANBU but just ask your DH how much he needs the car? simply if they get caught and your dd has no licence and no insurance the police do have the power to impound your car........