To be upset and ds nursery treatment

[LittleMrsHappy]

Ds1 is on a high fat diet, as he is underweight, due to his extremely high fast metabolism.

I got a letter from his dietitian, excusing him from the "healthy eating" programme, but as he was still having healthy food, I thought it would not be a problem.

Yesterday I got a phone call in saying that ds would not be allowed to sit with the other children while he was eating his lunch box as it was unfair on the other children , I asked if they tried explaining to the children about ds1 diet and they said No, and that his school is promoting healthy eating.

I send ds to school with wholemeal pasta, with tomatoes, courgette, some chorizo.

He had a homemade (Nan) flapjack with lots of nuts (Brazil, whole nut, pecan) and a pot of custard (he does not like yogurt of any sort) banana, cubed cheese.

He has a emergency bag of treats, which is mostly chocolate, which is behind the teachers bag, and his sugar levels drop and makes him very unwell in himself.

Now ds has a medical need for high fat foods, apparently the flapjack and custard and cheese are not healthy eating and that it will distress the other children, so ds now has to sit with the TA's.

He is four also,and loves sitting with his class mates.

AIBU to say NO! he has a medical need that dictates his food intake, not a government policy!

Id see the problem if I was sending him into school with chocolate galore and a vile kebab etc...

Agree with all other posters-the nursery is in the wrong-where is the inclusive policy in what they are doing?
Please take this as far as you have to-Im sooo fed up of schools deciding what parents should/should not feed our dc. I dont think many parents tell the school how to teach!
Dc are great at accepting differences between themselves with a simple explanation-they probably find it more odd that your ds is no longer sitting with them at lunch.
If your ds had Diabetes, and needed a specific diet,I doubt the school would be making a fuss. To me, this is the same.
Sending a chip butty in my dcs lunch box tomorrow. Ok, Im not, but it is tempting.

That lunch sounds so healthy op what on earth are they talking about. Hardly a cheese burgers, pizzas chocolate or sweets is it? Yes i would look elsewhere the nursery have handled the situation so wrongly.

I would complaine, god this healthy eating malarky has gone too far imo, that even a healthy lunch is considered to be unhealthy. Kids need calories not rabbit food they are not on a diet ffs.

YANBU, The nursery sound certifiably insane.

How in the name of all that's decent can they call that lunch unhealthy? FFS, it's not like you're sending him in with a huge pile of candy and microwaveable hamburgers! It sounds like they have the hump because you know better than them and aren't rolling over like a dog in the face of hteir policy. (Which sounds absolutely bonkers to me - you don't give children that age 'low-fat' food unless you want them malnourished.)

How goes the letter?

That diet sounds healthy for any child - low fat is not good for small children!

At my nursery all the children had cheesy pasta bake followed by bananas and custard for lunch today

Young children need calories, you dont have to do that by feeding them junk food, but food with lots of cheese, pasta, rice, yogurts,custard, nuts (if not allergic) basically what the op gave her lo for her ds. Do they know the first thing about childrens nutritional needs, they are not dieticians or doctors are they?

When I worked at a playgroup years ago we had a little boy who had cystic fibrosis. At 'milk time' he had his tablets in fruit puree plus 3 biscuits whereas the others had only 1 biscuit. We explained to the children in simple terms why he had more than them and they were perfectly happy as were the parents with the situation. In fact one of the childrens cousins was diagnosed the same condition and he said to his mother when his is older he will need 3 biscuits like J did when he has his snack.

I don't think children need any more explanation than "X needs special food or else he gets poorly". Sounds like the school are being deliberately difficult.

And it's important that children learn to be relaxed and comfortable around the different needs of others. It really seems as though the nursery is making too much of an issue of this. I remember in my reception class a girl with diabetes who needed extra biscuits and there was just never a problem, because the teachers insisted there shouldn't be...

I hate this idea of putting all kids on a diet and not letting them see custard in case it 'upsets them'... Do people really believe that is teaching kids healthy life-long attitudes towards food and nutrition?

I would be furious!

Totally agree Biscuit that nursery and i expect there are others like it are teaching children to have issues with food from an early age, not teaching them to have a healthy attitude to food tbh. A simple explanation of X has to have certain foods as he is not well or needs it more than me or you. What the hell is wrong with home made flapjacks, nuts (unless children have allergies there), cheese, and pasta salad with chorizo in fgs. Instead of teaching them about healthy eating they are going to encourage eating disorders

The lunch you describe sounds perfectly healthy for any active 4-year old. Can't see any reason not to allow those foods (except maybe the nuts, but that doesn't seem to be the issue). Schools are going so crazy with all this healthy eating and sending out the wrong messages. I don't think kids should have chocolate/sweets in packed lunches, but most other things are fine IMO, as long as the lunch as a whole is reasonably balanced.

Even if they don't allow it for others, they MUSt make an exception for medical needs.

That lunch sounded great! Can I have some?

Seriously, I agree with the others saying challenge the policy. As a school governor myself, I would not be happy if a parent came to me and said that the school was segregating a child due to his/her dietary needs. If you have a letter from a qualified dietician, that's good enough in my opinion.

Also, I agree with those who think the healthy eating business is getting out of hand. There seems to be many people around with only a hazy idea of a proper balanced diet, who seem to think veg=healthy, but other stuff = unhealthy.

I'd love to hear how this goes.

That reminds me of this story

Nursery confiscates cheese sanwich

YANBU. I don't think it is appropriate for schools or nurseries to interfere in lunch boxes to this extent.

So

Sum up what's happened about this.

YANBU at all. Nursery children should not be having low fat foods anyway, should they? I thought children under 5 were meant to eat full fat products.

It is totally unfair to your DS, and if low fat custard is allowed, for example, why can't your son have his full fat custard. Are the children at nursery going to be aware that it is full fat or low fat? Are they that advanced?

I hope you go at them all guns blazing.

Thought id update you as we had ds parents evening last night, and I also asked to see the head and ds teacher at the same time, but only saying about me becoming a school governor

We sat down and dh asked why they were excluding ds from normal meal times due to his medical need and passed them the original letter which they have a copy off, both went on to stay about the healthy eating etc...

I asked if they were dietitian themselves and that any body in the health profession and a parent would clearly know that giving low fat foods for children is detrimental to their growth and development, as they need fat, and ds needs more fat more so, due to metabolism.

I then provided, the government guidelines to the healthy eating policy, (what foods are acceptable) and showed them, which clearly states, nuts, custard, cheese and nowhere does it say low fat. And I would like to know how they discrimination my son for having a medical need, under the Disability Discrimination Act.

They just looked at each other and tried to continue to explain their reasoning, and I said full stop, that if I find out my child is being segregated from his nursery class, I would contact the school governors, the LEA, and also the local papers and clearly you know better than the medical professionals who deals with ds regularly with his extensive and qualified knowledge to my child's dietary requirements, and if it still continues you will be seeing me in court!

As we will not be having our child discriminated at all.

The head looked at me and said, we have to follow the policies, Dh looked up and said, my child's health over looks a policy. she just went !

so were now waiting for a reply, but ds is doing fantastic, and is a joy

Good on you LMH you have to push for your child, and if necessary complain! The school is not meeting your childs needs at all and is handeling it in such a bad way.

Well done LittleMrsHappy . Blimey, you'd think it would be good for the children to learn that some people have different dietary requirements, and that it doesn't matter a jot.

But surely a healthy balanced diet means all children should be eating cheese etc??? And getting exercise to burn it off.

Well done littlemrshappy, I think you have handled the situation extremely well.

Might be worth contacting the LEA to ask what the 'policy' actually is and whether it is an LEA policy or just a school policy.

Imho 'Just following policy' is an feeble excuse and good for you for challenging them.

GOOD FOR YOU!!! Amazing that they were STILL trying to quote "healthy eating" policy at you when you ad the actual Gov guidelines with you!

Kids under the age of about 5 should not be eating ANY low fat versions of foods such as cheese, yogurt etc, not least because often the removed fat (full of fat soluable vitamins), is usually replaced by sugar (usless empty calories which mess up your blood sugar!).

"Low fat" does NOT mean healthy and IMO that means for adults as well, IMO a smaller portion of real cheese/pudding/cookie is better for you than a large, unsatisfying portion of the "healthy low fat version" (check the label and see how much sugar they add to alot of these things!).

Teaching young kids to deny themselves normal real foods and eat adultarated crap is so stupid. It's setting them up for eating disorders. Teach them balance and portion control instead.

But maybe that's just IMO

Good for you.

FWIW low fat food tends to be pumped full of sugar and can often have more calories than its full fat equivalent.

Posted by LittleMrsHappy: "The head looked at me and said, we have to follow the policies"

Didn't do the Nazis any good at the Nuremburg trials when they said they were only following orders.......

And if said policy doesn't match the government guidelines, then it needs to be challenged.

Well done - make sure that you follow it up (I know I don't have to say that - you clearly will). Complain to everyone that you can if this doesn't change - including OFSTED. (You have given them every chance to sort this out)

They may be following one policy but this goes completely against their inclusion policy (which they have to have).

Ask them about their "inclusion" policy.

If they had an overweight child who could only eat strawberries, for example, would they have to eat their lunch separately?