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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be secretly pleased that the girl who bullied me at school because I was fat is now fat herself?

54 replies

treeblossom · 04/05/2010 13:23

I hope this doesn?t make me sound like an awful person! At school, one of the girls in my class used to call me really horrible names and make school an unpleasant place to be when she bullied me because I was fat. At the time, she was slim.

Have seen some very recent pictures of her and she is now rather fat. AIBU to feel a little bit happy that she?s now fat? ( I?m not for a second saying I want anyone to bully her though so please don?t think that?s what I meant!). But it would be nice to think she would remember what she did to me and feel slightly sorry now she is the same position herself!

AIBU to feel pleased about it? She never apologized for how badly she treated for all those years at senior school. If I ever see her at a school reunion in the future etc, would be interesting to hear what she had to say me! A sorry wouldn?t go a miss!!

OP posts:
EricPicklesFatNeck · 04/05/2010 13:27

a bit of schadenfreude is natural, but no doubt the holier than thou crowd will pitch up to tell you that you are evil incarnate.

LittlePeopleCo · 04/05/2010 13:28

I wouldn't be secretly pleased, I'd be secretly delighted!!

Of course if you said something to rub her nose in it that would be bad of you, but a little private malice won't do any harm!

OrmRenewed · 04/05/2010 13:29

An apology would be nice, regardless of her current size.

Bonsoir · 04/05/2010 13:29

LOL. A friend of mine was very rude and scathing about me becoming a stepmother. He later shacked up with a man who had children from a previous relationship. So my friend is now a stepparent too...

cluckyduck · 04/05/2010 13:30

Nah, karma is a wonderful thing.

Dont be too mean though!

Original poster
treeblossom · 04/05/2010 13:33

thanks ladies! I'd never actually say anything to her about it as I'd feel mean and wouldn't want to upset her. I know how awful it feels when someone makes you feel bad about your size and even after what she did to me, I wouldn't want to do the same back.

OP posts:
BallpointPen · 04/05/2010 13:34

YANBU to be secretly pleased on the inside so long as on the outside you are serene and magnanimous and pretend not to notice her heifer like proportions unfortunate weight gain.

monkeybum1 · 04/05/2010 13:34

what goes around, comes around!!! (pardon the unintentional pun.......)

fedupwithdeployment · 04/05/2010 13:34

YANBU. I was fat at school and now am pretty slim. I was recently invited to a reunion and turned it down as had no interest in meeting up with people. However, was delighted to see that I have worn rather well compared with some others!

Lucifera · 04/05/2010 13:35

Would be amazing if you didn't feel a bit gloaty! A dear friend of mine called me a fat pig during a row decades ago - guess who's now twice my size? karmic justice methinks.

FranSanDisco · 04/05/2010 13:35

I think its Ok to feel that way but to expect an apology is probably asking a bit too much. She must have been an unhappy person to want to bully in the first place?

Sassybeast · 04/05/2010 13:38

Karma is a wonderful thing and it's one of the reasons why I love facebook

LouMacca · 04/05/2010 13:39

YANBU. A horrible girl at school used to refer to me as 'Miss World' to get a laugh. I was skinny, had frizzy hair, wore thick NHS glasses and was painfully shy.

I am still slim and with the help of hair straighteners and contact lenses am quite attractive. I bumped into her last year, she was huge and had Bo-Derek like hair beads in her hair (and I wouldn't have even given her a 1 of out 10). I laughed all the way home - it made my day and I don't care if anyone thinks that makes me awful

Original poster
treeblossom · 04/05/2010 13:42

FranSanDisco - I'm not expecting any apology from her, as I know she is not the type of person to say sorry about anything as nothing was ever her fault. She's the type who would be handing out textbooks, drop one and blame it on the lad sitting at the back of the classroom

OP posts:
skihorse · 04/05/2010 13:43

YANBU - at school I was the class fat kid - you know, back in the 80s when classes only had one fat kid! I'm fucking delighted to see now that some of the girls could sink ships and the boys? Fat and bald!

*I didn't go to the school reunion so damaged was I by memories - in my mind everyone was slim and beautiful. Someone showed me the photos - oh my - how cruel is time?

thesunshinesbrightly · 04/05/2010 13:43

Oh don't excuse your pleasure, just enjoy.

A woman who was rather nasty to me, not to my face, all behind my back, because i had a child by another man,has now got children by two different men.

Karma is a wonderful thing.

Hassled · 04/05/2010 13:43

Karma is great . YANBU. Gloat away - just maybe not aloud.

FranSanDisco · 04/05/2010 13:44

She's my son !!?? Nothings ever his fault either Hope he's never a bully though.

RunawayWife · 04/05/2010 13:45

yabu to be secretly pleased, you have every right to be over joyed

I loved seeing a girl who used to call me a stupid (dyslexic) slag (I did not even have a boyfriend, and at the grand old age of 38 have only ever had two relationships, DH1 and DP) at school any how I loved seeing her in the post office cashing in her giro with 3 kids by 3 dads in tow while I had my nice well paid job, and married first boyfriend (DH1).

It does not make you a bad person to feel please someone who was nasty and hurt you has come unstuck, makes you human

toucancancan · 04/05/2010 13:46

LOL! What goes around comes around. I'd take great sadistic pleasure in seeing her larger frame. Don't feel guilty at all treeblossom.

Doodleydoo · 04/05/2010 13:49

Don't feel bad! I quite often nose aroundlook at others piccies on FB and spend my life hoping that they will be fat or have stretch marks in their bikini's because they were so damn near perfect when I was a teen.

Sadly never seems to happen for me, rather to me (so no piccies on fb!) so I know I am an unreasonable cow but some people were very nasty at school to me...but if or when it does I may well indulge in a silent gloat!

sunshiney · 04/05/2010 13:50

YANBU to love the fact that she's got tubby.

YADU (you are deluding yourself) to think she'd ever apologise for bullying you.

SanctiMoanyArse · 04/05/2010 13:51

yanbu

My ex fiance used to tell me I was too thick to take a degree (he had a 2:2 after years of 1-1 and private schooling)

Well my sink school arse now has a 2:1(and I only missed a first by struggling a bit with a dissertaion, 3 children (2 SN) and a newborn).... when I get my MA I wil envisage myself shoving it where the sun does not shine: the same image that has got me to this stage

It won't hurt him, he's long gone after all, but is a great motivator for me.

Original poster
treeblossom · 04/05/2010 14:00

sunshiney - I think I must have phrased it wrong in my first post! When I said i'd like to hear what she had to say to me etc, I didn't mean I was expecting an apology! I just meant I wondered if she'd avoid me because she was embarassed she was fat! I'm really not expecting any apology from her, as I know she is not the type of person to say sorry about anything as nothing was ever her fault. She's the type who would be handing out textbooks, drop one and blame it on the lad sitting at the back of the classroom

OP posts:
asteri · 04/05/2010 14:05

haha thats awesome, yanbu. Karma is a wonderful wonderful thing.