To hate this whole 'real woman' stuff?

[Dinkytinky]

It just annoys me to be honest- I've got a bmi of 21 (good for my height) and a size 8, and I get fed up with tv programs etc announce that 'real women' are size 16. I've got nothing against other sizes but I just think bloody hell I'm not a 'fictional' woman am I?!

Not when he met / married her....!

hmmm usually society bombards women of your size with messages that you look good. clothes fit better, models are your size, actresses are your size, bla bla bla

So when a few (and I mean a few!) elements try to be positive about "Ms average size 16" you get all huffy??? FFS, let them have their moment you mean spirited cow!

"real" is euphamism for "average" doncha know, and the size 16s fully know that and I am sure are NOT bigging themselves up

Ive found this thread really interesting. As I said earlier, Ive never found being skinny has conferred any benefit, maybe its as some say, I am not confident, maybe its as others say, waist to hip ratio, I dont know but I really have to agree with those who say pitting women against one another and saying "real" women are great or skinny is best is very damaging to all women.

OP, I (sort of) agree. I am the only one amongst my female friends who is not on a diet. I would LOVE to put on 20 lbs as I am well below what is healthy for my height. Since having DD I have lost weight at a rather alarming rate and am now 30 lbs below what I weighed as a teenager and 15 below my pre-pg weight. I look and feel haggard and have made no secret of my attempts to gain some weight. However, since I am skinny everyone feels it's appropriate to make comments about my weight - something they would never do if I was overweight and trying to lose it (ie, it would be considered extremely rude to elbow a fat person and tell them to drop a few lbs, but seems totally acceptable to tell me my ribs show through and I need to put some on!). So yeah, a little sensitive there

I object to the campaigns, especially Dove's "real beauty" one because they feel cynical in the extreme. They make beauty products FFS. They don't earn any money if I feel good about myself enough to know I don't need their creams and fake tanners etc so they have a very vested interest in making me feel like some part of myself is not up to standard iykwim, and is disingenuous to try and sell me the fiction that they are some kind of benevolent force against all those "bad" companies with their unrealistic portrayals of women.

Agreed Mookle - couldn't give a stuff what size / shape others are. We're all 'same same but different' innit!

yeah i dislike the 'real' tag too, when it means overweight. I would prefer it to mean, not airbrushed, not a supermodel..

but really, none of us has ANY obligation whatsoever to conform to the media's portrayal of how a woman should look. Men don't walk around categorising themselves into real, unreal, almost real, usetobe real, gonna be real if I can just lose five pounds.

Pierce Brosnan's wife also has thyroid problems making weightloss difficult....

I used to weigh 18 stone and talked myself into the whole curves are better hype after this weight crept up on me due to depression....didn't really feel sexy panting up one flight of stairs or nearly collapsing walking up a steep hill....having damp patches from proffuse sweating and heavy periods from PCOS.

I'm sorry but it is unhealthy and shouldn't be celebrated. I've lost 51/2 stone and can't wait to have a normal BMI hopefully this year. ...

PB nursed his first wife through a long battle with cancer and adopted her son from her first marriage. Not the best actor on earth, but I'm not that surprised that he's stuck with wife number two despite her getting... fat. After cancer, 'fat' probably seems like no biggie (no pun intended)

Didn't know that about Keeley (Mrs Brosnan's name I tink). But there was no judgement meant in my earlier comment. Was sending up the whole concept of weight = love / sexiness.

But 'Big Up' Whatthe! (pun intended!). Good for you! And I totally agree, going from 13.5 stone to 10 stone means I feel healthier, more energetic and fitter. I tried to tell myself that my 'curves' made me sexy but in actuality, they were not curves but were rolls of fat. And my boobs were MAHOOOSIVE due to fat, not family hereditory. But I don't care judge others for their weight - I know one girl who is just drop dead gorgeous at a size 18. She beats men off all the time.

But not me - I feel better slimmer. Probably because I eat sooooooo much better too - loads more fruit and veg and the like. And (whisper it) I don't like chocolate anymore!! It just tastes of fat (as in, glaggy vegetable oil) to me now.

HaHa she doesn't 'Beat men off' in that way! Well, not ALL the time!!

"don't like chocolate anymore"

isnt it terrible?

I have never been a fan of chocolate (blasphemy!), and there are soooo many indulgences I want to love, because everyone else loves them, but just taste terrible to me

wine = rotted fruit
chocolate = lard (ok, in tiny doses, but I can't stomach a whole choc bar)
chips = salted lard
ice cream = sugared lard

at least I can keep my sweets! ...for now...

I ADORE sweets! Haribo Sours !!!

'ohhhh no I'm all about the supermix- I have a secret buzzy tin of them!(so I don't have to share)

Oooh - the eggs!

I don't know what men prefer, so I'll just speak from my own experience.
I know fat and thin people, some of whom are happily married and/or happily getting laid, and some who can't get a date at all. It's nowt to do with their size but with their body confidence.
And it is, really and honestly about personality. A tight bum and fit body won't keep a relationship going.
I do know some men who prefer the larger lady, they just aren't attracted to thin women. But again, only larger women who are 100% comfortable with themselves.
There's no bigger turn off in life than someone who obsesses over their own and everyone's else's size, whatever that size is.

I think that for somebody who has been slim and toned, it is harder to have body confidence when you put on weight, than for somebody who has had a larger size from early on.

My best friend when I was a child was slightly overweight when we were groing up, never gave it a second thought, and turned into a gorgeous and voluptious young woman. I was a stick insect, and when I met dh he would compare me to Kate Moss or Nicole Kidman, based on body shape. I find it harder to reconcile myself with my new post baby shape, as I know what I used to look like, and I know that I was fancied as a young woman with a slightly "boyish" shape. I dont have the body confidence. But I think I will get it, when I lose weight.