To hate this whole 'real woman' stuff?

[Dinkytinky]

It just annoys me to be honest- I've got a bmi of 21 (good for my height) and a size 8, and I get fed up with tv programs etc announce that 'real women' are size 16. I've got nothing against other sizes but I just think bloody hell I'm not a 'fictional' woman am I?!

Ahh smallisheep, there is nothing like a reformed fatso/smoker.

Theres no need to project how you feel about how you once were onto others, it just doesnt work that way. You felt repulsive and lost weight and that worked for you- great. I feel sexy and attractive and am as healthy as many of my 'normal' weight friends.

We generally all, men and women, are attracted to what looks healthy.

I knew someone would come out with the reformed fatty/smoker thing. You are happy, I am happy, lets agree to disagree, but if you think you're at a healthy weight, the only one you're fooling is yourself

Again- you no nothing about my 'health' ive got far better health habits than many of my slim mates, difference is my metabolism doesnt let me get away with anything! I dont smoke, very rarely drink, exercise regularly and my cholesterol and bp are absolutley fine.

in favour of GOK, he has ,major self-esteem issues - hmself, to do with once having been an enormously fat young man, who starved himself to make himself socially acceptabel (he didn't sound much happier out of it - he was more succcesful though - almost no-one in fashion is large.)

I think he rather likes women, he certainly came across that way. Men seem to have been very cruel to him in his early life.

Another point I feel the need to add is I look after myself now far better than when I was seven stone ten, I dont smoke 40 a day and drink ten units every night and eat a bag of crisps and chocolate bar every so often with about five hours sleep...I frequently caught colds/had tonsilitis and had horrific skin.

I hate all this real/curvy rubbish too. I also think when most men say they like curvy women they are thinking Kelly Brook rather than Dawn French.

I personally like being slim and my DH prefers that too. Equally I prefer him to be slim.

Dress size also depends on height though in terms of what looks good. I'm 5ft so if I go above a size 8 I start to look chunky.

Red - if you're happy with your size thats all that matters. Not everyone wants to be slim.

I read that anthropology studies show that its hip-waist ratio that men go for, and that modern skinny models actually have the same ratio as those bigger 1950s models, just scaled down.

Most plus size models have this shape too, just scaled up. But I think that in the general population its rare to have the sort of proportions that plus size models of the same size have. Most of us don't put on weight evenly all over and just 'scale up' - I certainly don't and I don't know anyone in RL that does. Plus size models look very un-real to me and clothes hang on them in a very different way to how they'd hang on your average 14/16/18/22. They just look like 12s widened with a basic computer program IYKWIM.

The only way I can get any sort of hour glass shape going on is by going down sizes not up.

and what is it with plus size models' arms? is it just me or are they all tiny? they have the boobs and the curvy thighs but skinny arms that look good in the kind of clothes I could never wear because like a lot of women I carry my weight on my arms, boobs and tum. Plus size models don't represent me any more than non plus size ones do!

so what's the point in championing plus size models? - they are still just promoting one shape IMO

Obviously it's patronising. When the media talk about 'curves' they mean. like size 10 not size 6.

They mean, that woman probably menstruates. They do not mean somebody who needs to lose a few stone.

Apparently the most attractive form over centuries is JUST enough 'fat' to last a lean winter. So maybe Charlotte Church's NEW figure as opposed to her old one and Posh Spice's current one.

EAP

how does that defend him? that is one of the reasons I dislike him, its like he's saying "love who you are, but I am never going to let myself be one of 'you people' again"

there is some sort of weird look of either smugness or disgust from him when he's poking peoples tummies or boobs or smacking women's wobbly arses!

oh and also in times of war or recession its a scaled up version of the ideal hip-waist ratio that's most popular, and in boom time its a scaled down one, but its always the same ratio

Totally agree about plus-size models.
They do not represent fat women any more than non-plus-size models represent thin women.

And yes, curvy seems to mean a size 10, 12 at a push.

I dont think there is anything wrong with anyone finding thin more attractive than fat, its just that we are all being kept on this tightrope by the media...and that so many of us buy it!!

Be the best you can be for yourself - imo that usually means being at least reasonably fit.

Maybe its evolution that is pushing this ultra-slim, toned look as the ideal?
If we accept that there has been a natural preference for sturdy-likely-to-last-the-winter type, then wouldn't that gradually change as life alters?
Perhaps now its long-term sustainability that's the ideal - someone who looks like they will have a long life?

(thats not excusing the media's pushing of "ideals" though)

I am reading with interest as I don't think you can say that a size 16 is unhealthy - sorry smallishsheep - I have big boobs and this in itself makes my size a 16, the rest of me isn't but if I want a top i have to have one in a 16. Weather I starve myself stupid or not I still have big boobs, just made that way. I have very low bp like RRW (infact when not pg mine is ridiculously low) and I excercise regularly. I have to have regular health checks with work and have been informed by a health prof. that I am perfectly healthy.

I would also hesitate to anyone recommending BMI, it is a guide and not always a correct one as many top athletes would be considered to be "obese" which is obviously not a healthy term.

But all that being said as I am "real woman" size I guess that I am not healthy and need to lose weight if you look at me on a piece of paper.

I wouldn't let it worry you. There are so many signposts telling women how they should look - funnily enough that is mostly thin, young and well-norked . I'm sure you can cope with burden of not being 'real'.

Well thin (model thin) ain't coming my way any time soon, young getting further and further away day by day and the large norkedness in my case does slightly involve them going south

I have been size 16 - 18 and am now a size 10 - 12. Am happier slimmer - mainly coz I am a shallow mare who like clothes and I feel they look better on me now. But that may be because designers design for slimmer women. I remember bemoaning clothes with a slim friend when I was bigger and she was very much 'but you can get clothes in all sizes now' but it hadn't occured to her that it was the styles that needed to change - not the ranges of sizes available.

Also happier slimmer because I exercise like a demon now and love it because a) it makes me feel like I am doing something positive b) because it means I can eat more and c) coz it releases all them endophin thingies!

I also get a whole heap more male attention now. COuld be to do with new slimmer size or could be because I am happier / more confident and that triggers something in men. Don't know, but ain't complaining!

On another note - I used to book models for a well know daytime TV programme and I used to really struggle to get plus sized women who looked plus size! The size 16 - 18's were ALL completely in proportion and about 6foot tall! They all looked like a size 12 - 14 and it used to make me Grrrr!

High five Ifancyashandy! From one ex fatty to another

you're right about the sizes. there's no point in just scaling up designs so the company can tick the 'cater for all sizes' box, most women don't scale up in that way.

I find vintage shops quite good because a lot of the stuff was handmade to fit a particular 'real' person, and the clothes are more structured. but that's only really an option up to a 14/16

Righ back at ya Smallish!

I have never met a man who has admitted to preferring size 16 plus women. I am not saying they are not out there as clearly they are and I am only saying this because a few posters have claimed this. So I do apologise to any 16+ women I might upset - not my intention at all.

This real women thing has always annoyed me too. I am pretty, tall and slim with 36DD boobs, and I have always taken care of my appearance. I am exactly the same as every other woman out there, I work, I pay bills, I am a mother I have had my heart broken, why am I not considered real simply because I was fortunate to be born with aesthetically pleasing genes?

Over the years I have had weight fluctuations from a size 6 to a size 18 - I am 5"11 and I found a massive difference between how men respond to me. I found that I was the most popular when I was a size 10-12. At this size I get the most attention and the attention from the most eligible and atractive men. The bigger I got the less attention I got and the less attractive the men became. They also approached me differently and I didn't like it all.

Then again, Pierce Brosnan's wife is at least a size 20!